for your kisaobi prompt request - lifeguard au! either they're coworkers for the summer at the local pool or one is the lifeguard and the other is "drowning". frequently.
Obito has the worst friends inthe world.
“No, no, it’s easy,” Kakashi saysin that particular breezy bullshit tone he apparently thinks makes him soundearnest. Which is ironic, because he actually sounds like a dick. Because he is a dick. “You’re trying to get hisattention? All you have to do is drown.”
Obito cannot even begin to imagine the mortification thatwould entail, especially if Kakashi is part of it. “Fuck off,” he saysgrumpily, kicking his so-called friend in the thigh as hard as he can manage withoutmoving. He’s finally managed to steal the patch of shade, and if he moves Rin isgoing to steal it back. It’s safe enough for him to turn his head, though, andhe casts a mostly-covert look at the lifeguard’s chair.
Even looking at him upside downthe man is gorgeous. Itshould probably be against some sort of natural law to have that many muscles.
Rin, from where she’s supposedly working on her tan butactually mostly pouting about Obito stealing the shade, rolls over the rest herchin on her crossed arms and hums in a way that means nothing good for Obito's dignity.“Maybe you should eat a lot before you go swimming,” she suggests cheerfully. “Thatway you’ll get a cramp.”
“I don’t want to get a cramp!” Obito squawks, batting sandat her in offense. “If I get a cramp I’ll drownand drowning is not sexy!”
“Of course it’s not sexy,” Kakashi says cheerfully. “Thesexy part is when your lifeguard hunk drags you out of the water and gives youmouth-to-mouth. Maybe CPR, if you want him to get his hands all over you.”
“Yeah, because having my ribs broken and air forced into mylungs sounds like a great first date,”Obito snaps, and wraps his arms over his face with a groan. “I should burn allyour romance novels. Why am I even friendswith you two.”
“Because you love us.”Rin makes obnoxious kissy noises, then sits up, brushing sand off of herstomach. She tips her floppy sunhat back, checking up and down the beach, andthen sighs dramatically and flops back down. “Of course you two gay jerks wouldpick the one beach in Konoha that’s allguys,” she complains. “Where are the women?”
“I'm pan,” Kakashi reminds her mildly, though he takes amoment to lift his eyes from his book and check out the ass of a jogger in verybrief green shorts as the man bounces past them. “But really, I don’t know whatyou're complaining about. The view here is amazing.”
Obito, watching the lifeguard stand up to stretch only toreveal an absolutely ripped abdomen and the jut of sharp hipbones, makes awistful, hungry sound and nods fervently.
Rin's sigh is full of contained disgust. “Next time I pickthe beach, and boobs are going to be involved.”
“Fine by me,” Kakashi says cheerfully, and jabs a toe into Obito'sribs. “Why are you lying on your stomach? Your abs are your only redeeming feature.Roll over so he can get an eyeful if he looks this way.”
“Fuck you,” Obito tells him, and just to be contrary stayswhere he is. His abs are hard-earned, but they also come along with all thescars. Like fuck he’s going to showthose off if he doesn’t absolutely have to.
Kakashi eyes him like he knows what Obito is thinking, andhums in quiet dissatisfaction. Then, decisively, he snaps his book shut at setsit aside, and says, “Oh, would you look at that. The volleyball net is free.”
Obito squints at him suspiciously. “We have one eye each,”he says. “Our depth perception is shit.You really want to play volleyball?”
“Last week I hit you in the head with a pencil from acrossthe living room,” Kakashi tells him. “Don’t try to use the eye as an excuse foryour lack of aim.”
“If I remember correctly,” Obito retorts, “and I do, I pegged you in your stupid skull withone of those trashy novels you leave everywhere. Screw you, my aim is fine!”
“How about you prove it?” Rin suggests, bouncing to her feetand grabbing Obito's arm, then Kakashi’s. “Come on, before someone else getsthere!” She gives them a sweetly innocent smile and says, “Obito, since youwere on the volleyball team in high school, it’s only fair if Kakashi and I areon one team, right?”
Obito groans pointedly, even as he allows her to drag him tohis feet. “How the fuck is two against one fair,you witch? And isn’t the tied coming in? The net’s going to be right in thewater soon.”
“You're so negative,”Rin laments. As soon as she has him on his feet she gives him a hard shove inthe back, practically jamming her elbow into his spine. “March, and be happy. We’re at the beach, Obito.”
It takes effort, but Obito refrains from pointing out thathe didn’t even want to come in the first place, but Rin blackmailed him intodoing so because she’s under the impression that he doesn’t get out enough.
As he’s dragged past the lifeguard’s chair, Obito can't helpone more look, because god. If hecould see more people who looked like that guy, he’d sure as hell spend moretime in public.
Of course, just as he looks up, admiring thickly muscledthighs and well-shaped feet in worn flip-flops, the lifeguard looks down, andof fucking course he catches Obito's eyebecause Obito is staring like a creeper.And, because the lifeguard is a kind man who’s clearly used to people ogling himlike deranged stalkers, he offers Obito a friendly smile.
Obito feels himself turning red to the tips of his ears, andducks his head with a sound that is very definitely not a mortified whimper.
At his side, Kakashi makes a sound of despair, but lockstheir elbows together and hauls him forward without stopping, leaving Rin totrot to keep up. “You're so lame,” Kakashisays, and Obito has to splutter even through his embarrassment because of thesheer hypocrisy of that statement.
“You—you are so much lamer than me that I don’t even knowhow you can say that!” Obito protests,even as Rin trots over to rent a volleyball from the bored-looking man at thebooth. He tries to kick Kakashi in the ankle, but Kakashi sidesteps it, turnssharply enough to pull Obito off balance, and almost manages to evade the foot Obito hooks around his ankle as hegoes down. Obito is just a bit too quick for him, though, and drags Kakashi downwith him.
Sadly, Kakashi is all lean, wiry muscle, and he gets hislegs between them as they wrestle, twists sharply, and heaves, and Obito yelpsas he goes rolling down the beach, losing his grip on Kakashi’ssunscreen-slicked skin. Obito splutters through a face-full of sand, staggershalfway upright as he tries to get his feet under him, and feels someone belowwaist-level slam into him and then a child’s shriek. Too late, though—he’s offbalance and staggering, and one step back—
His foot hits rock, then empty air, and he has just enough timeto curse viciously at every deity bored enough to listen to his two horribleex-friends before he’s tumbling off the boulders that edge the deeper part ofthe water. He hits spine-first, hard enough to knock the air out of his lungs,and then cool water is closing over his head. Obito inhales a mouthful of waterand feels his lungs burn with the overwhelming urge to cough. It takes a secondto orient himself, to try and find the surface—
An arm loops around his chest, dragging him up, and before Obitocan do more than gasp he’s breaking the surface, the man who’s holding himhauling him back onto the rocks in a surge of powerful muscle. Obito's too busycoughing to be able to pay attention, sadly, though he does spare a moment toappreciate the big warm hand that splays over his spine, keeping him fromjerking too hard.
“Easy, easy,” a deep voice says. “You didn’t hit your headon your way down, did you? The rocks are nasty right here.”
Obito shakes his head, chokes up what feels like half agallon of seawater, and finally manages to lift his head.
It’s the stupidly attractive lifeguard. At this point Obito isn’teven surprised. He’d be even less surprised if Kakashi and Rin orchestratedthat whole fucking thing.
Seeing as they're too far away for him to give them the evileye, he ducks his head, hoping his ears aren’t turning red, and rasps, “Thanksfor the save.”
The big man chuckles, and if he hasn’t realized yet that he’slightly rubbing up and down Obito's back in a mindlessly comforting gesture,well. Obito certainly isn’t going to be the one to tell him. “Not a problem,”he says easily. “I was just getting off shift, so I was right here. Looked likeMurphy’s Law had it out for you.”
“Or meddling friends,” Obito mutters, and raises his headjust enough to glare at the pair of assholes by the volleyball net. Being Kakashiand Rin, they don’t even bother with chagrin, just wave cheerfully.
Obito is going to murderthem.
“You're sure you're okay?” the lifeguard asks again, watchinghim closely. He’s frowning a little, and it puts a cute little wrinkle in hisbrow, and Obito is fucking doomed,okay. Doomed.
“I'm fine,” Obito tells him, and cautiously sits upstraighter, rubbing at the faint ache in his chest. The lifeguard’s hand doesn’tslip off his back, which is a little surprising, and when Obito looks up at himhe’s still watching Obito with that furrow between his brows, dark eyesconcerned. He’s so fucking handsome,and it’s not fair because Obito just tripped over his own feet and almostdrowned in front of him, and there's no going back from that first impression.
The reassurance doesn’t so much to ease the man’s frown,though, and he wavers for a moment, then says, “Want to come sit up by the boardwalkwith me? I usually get some food up there after my shift, and getting away fromthe water for a bit might help you get your balance back.”
Obito opens his mouth to tell him he’s here with his friendsand that he can't leave them, then remembers that they're both filthy traitors and he’s never going togive either of them so much as the time of day ever again. Besides, thelifeguard is way too fucking cute, and he’s handing Obito an excuse to talk to himon a silver platter. Obito would have to be the idiot Kakashi always calls himto say no.
“Sure,” he says instead, and maybe leans a little moreheavily on the man than he absolutely needs to as the lifeguard rises and pullshim to his feet. “I'm, uh. I'm Obito. Thanks again for saving me.”
“Kisame,” he returns, with a faintly bashful smile, and ittakes him about three seconds too long to let go of Obito's fingers. “Glad I couldhelp.”
You can helpyourself right into my pants if you want, the little voice in Obito's head that sounds like Rin says,and Obito stomps it down and firmly squashes the urge to actually say it.
Instead, he clears his throat, trying not to sound like hegargled saltwater, and offers Kisame his best attempt at a charming smile. “CanI buy your food? As a thank you! Not—not as a date. Uh. Unless you want it tobe a date? Because that would be fine. Great. Oh god, feel free to shoot me downany fucking time now.” Mortified, he presses his hands over his face.
There's a long, startled pause, and then a faint chuckle. Obitorisks a peek through his fingers to find Kisame rubbing the back of his neck, aflush washing color into his cheeks. He doesn’t quite manage to meet Obito's eye,but he’s smiling when he says, “If we’re going to make it a date, we should getice cream, too. my treat.”
The rush of air that leaves Obito's lungs is pure relief,and he almost wants to collapse right back into the sand. “I—yes. Definitely. Icecream sounds—uh, really good.”
Kisame has a gorgeous smile. It crinkles his eyes, shows offwhite teeth and the dimples in his cheeks. Threedimples, which is entirely unfair. How is Obito supposed to fucking deal with three dimples on one face?
“Yeah,” he agrees, grinning. “It does.”
