I grew up going to church. It was a non-negotiable artifact of growing up in my family. And for as long as I can remember, I had to endure preachers trying to make the Book of Revelation—the last book of the Christian New Testament, for those not familiar—relevant to the specific time. It’s a colorful, vivid telling of the end times, as ostensibly delivered to the author in a series of visions. It plays a significant role in Christian eschatology.
The fact that it was not a literal prognostication never stopped the preachers from trying to figure out all of the signs and wonders, the omens and portents, and just who the antichrist was. Preachers acted as sleuths, trying to decipher hidden meanings, and assigning them to whatever was happening that day. Stir in a little fear mongering, and you have the recipe for some heavy-handed emotional pleas for contrition.
Back then, Nikita Khrushchev was often considered the antichrist of which the author wrote, and the arrival of the bar code in 1974 was thought to usher in the end times, an era in which people would need a special mark to buy and sell. This led to fears of chip implantation, cashless societies, and the like.
Of course, Khrushchev and the Soviet Union both came and went, and still no end times. Preachers had to adapt and find new examples to fit the narrative. I can’t fault them for their creativity, but I do find a lot of problems with their lack of objectivity and reactionary outbursts.
Like what I have been reading this week regarding the Amazon One method of payments. Heads have been exploding. Wave your hand, and you are good to go. More on the exploding heads in a minute. Or so.
I had read about it many months earlier and knew it was coming, as well as its rollout to all Whole Foods stores this year. But when I was in a Dallas-area Whole Foods a month ago and was getting my Amazon app ready to pay, the clerk asked if I would like to sign up for the new method.I stopped dead in my tracks.
“What?! How long does it take?”
“Less than a minute,” she said. Well, twist my arm. I mean hand.
In no time flat, I was rolling both left and right palms over the reader so it could get a full scan, and tethering it all to a credit card stored in my Amazon account. I joked that this is going to be great, as long as someone doesn’t cut off one of my hands and goes shopping. It may have taken more than a minute, but when she was done scanning everything, I literally just waved my hand one last time, and off we went.
There was a feature about the new technology on Amarillo’s Newschannel10 website and Facebook this week, and judging by the comments, you would think that Jesus is headed back to earth. I just hope he doesn’t get caught in Dallas traffic. And to be honest, I had to quit reading the comments. There was too much shrapnel from all those heads exploding.
In addition to Whole Foods, which is owned by Amazon, and Amazon Fresh stores, Amazon is selling the payment system to vendors in high traffic areas, like stadiums and airports. Ultimately, of course, this could challenge Apple Pay and every other once-modern payment system. Amazon will get a small piece of every third-party transaction. Cha-ching.
Those fearful of the end of the age should recall that every credit and debit card in their wallet has a chip in it. While that chip may not have been implanted in our wrist, as many once thought, it is how we pay for most things, and especially as we march toward a cashless society. But I don’t hear any complaining about the chips in those cards, which contain a wealth of information about us.
Basically, the opposition is a result of biblical literalism, misguided exegesis, and fear of change. That can be a toxic blend, causing people to dig in their heels in a fit of righteous indignation. I have two words: “Lighten up.”
People have been trying to interpret Revelation ever since it was written, which was about 95 C.E. , and since Jesus has not returned nor the faithful been raptured into the sky, folks keep trying to find new ways to cast it into whatever the current context is.
Meanwhile, I suspect Amazon One will take off. Furthermore, I bet there will be competing similar systems, perhaps using palms, or maybe retina scans. But I can’t buy into literal interpretations of a vision that occurred 1900 years ago. I guess I just don’t have that kind of faith, but I do have faith that Amazon One and anyone else who comes along will make our future better, not worse.
Raise your hand if you’re with me.
Dr “This Gives A Whole New Meaning To Palm Reader” Gerlich
