#americasjcjc

[coollyinterferes]

uncle speedwagon, my alternate great grandpa said he's going to beat me to death for eating his cheesy bagels and it's really getting me down

There was so much going on in just that one sentence it nearly gave Robert an aneurysm.

“Your what said he’s going to… what?” His bushy eyebrows were furrowed in visible, almost tangible, confusion.

“Jojo… what kind of trouble did you just get into this time?” And why –save for the ‘alternate great grandpa’ bit– was he not as surprised as he should have been.

@americasjcjc

[flamefortuned-a]

americasjcjc said:     you know what's the best part of having you around? i never have to worry about buying an electric heater

❛  i am glad to be helpful.  ❜     the truth is, it isn’t intentional. magicians red just hasn’t stepped away from joseph in a hot minute. it might be attached to him.

[jojoingjoseph]

why are you so naturally handsome and talented?

The idea of meeting mirror versions of himself weren’t unfounded on the man after what.. a few years of going around on his own accord to get into trouble every now and then? A brazen smile flared to a conniving grin over the praising question, releasing a set of chortles as Joseph poised himself flamboyantly.

★ “ I was just born this way, dontchya know~? This sexy face and these natural talents of mine were just there when I came as a gift to the world. ”

[hclius]

just thought i'd let you know you look like gay tarzan

  ❝ — Mhm. And the point you try to make is…? ❞

[llcebaby]

is your name really vanilla ice? i can't imagine how many kids must have taken the piss out of you in school

"What do you think, you idiot?"

"I was almost twenty by the time that name was relevant."

[dispensemiracles]

i think it's about time we had some father-daughter bonding time, how about we go to an illegal underground new york fighting ring huh? dad's treat

The cards slid from her hands to puddle at her feet. The Fool, The World, Temperance; each card with their painstakingly done figures offered consolation at the exasperation contorting her face. The slack in her jaw and bug eyed stare didn’t retreat. In fact the gasp into a ‘Huh?!!’ widened them till she looked ready to audition as a Loony Toon. A journey of every stage of confusion played out; from her voice to her posture.

“That…what…how?”

He was her dad right? It wasn’t too late to exchange the receipt? Oh dear.

[flamefortuned-a]

americasjcjc said:     “ pumpkins were made by god to scare children away. ”

❛  that... does not sound right.  ❜     a deep sigh. avdol is morosexual.

[master-of-za-warudo]

so i guess if you can't move that means i can take offensive selfies with you without suffering the immediate consequences

“Do it and I will cast a curse upon any offspring you have that will send them into a most agonizing death.”