#amrit barks

[arnavsinghraizada]

So, I found an excerpt of adult Khushi in Diary of a Sanka Devi detailing her time as Arnav’s assistant and I must say… I am motivated to continue this.

If you have no idea what Diary of a Sanka Devi is, it’s my revisionist fic that details what IPKKND might look like if Arnav and Khushi had known each other as children before Arnav was forced to leave Lucknow for Delhi.

[advaysinghraizada]

Ustad Advay Ali Khan?

Today we were introduced to Advay’s twisted shayraana roop. These two give a new dimension to Tu Shayar Hai, Main Teri Shayari. (LOL its okay if no one else laughs, i crack myself up) 

Rang subha jaisa

Her colouring is that of a morning

Par mann hai kali raaton sa

But her heart is as dark as night

Chandni toh parda hai

The moonlight is just a cover

Ran jo gham ki baaton ka** (Not sure if I heard that entire line right)

For a war of words of grief

This first part reminds me of Chandni’s initial betrayal of Advay with her horrible remarks about his mom being a witch. (Who the fuck says that, Chandni you idiot) 

The language used here is deeply personal. Vindictive even. He launches into this poem insulting the moonlight, calling her a blackheart. He acknowledges that she’s beautiful, but that her beauty hides something sinister. (So you think, you fool)

He ends with a line that I’m not sure I heard correctly but if I did, it implies that he is battling with himself. This is easily shown within the show when he has rare moments of softness towards her (always when she is indisposed somehow) which he then contradicts with reinforced vows of revenge. 

Dhoop ko andhere tak

The sun and the darkness

Pohonch ne se roka ha

Have been kept apart Chandni chalava hai The moonlight is a show

Chandni dhoka hai The moonlight is a betrayal

The sunlight in this case refers to Advay aka Dev and the darkness being his vengeance. The moonlight is what separates sunlight and darkness, similarly Chandni, or more specifically the remnants of what he feels for her, is the hurdle in his path to it. 

He follows this immediately with reminding himself that she’s fake and she’s illusory and not to be trusted.

Mann ki kali kyun na ho? And why shouldn’t she be black at heart?

Raat ki saheli hai She’s friends with the night

Chandni farebi hai 

The moonlight is fake

Chandni paheli hai  The moonlight is a riddle

In this part, he goes to talking about her family. Stating that of course she’s no different than the people she comes from. Advay is already aware of her family’s involvement in the grand scheme of things and now thinks that she can’t be any better than them. 

He then references what he thinks of as the act she puts on for the world. A scared, young girl who needs support. But he’s also intrigued by her. By the facets to her personality and by her attempts to stand up to him. He can’t understand her, he doesn’t understand her. 

Dil fareb dhoke ki Of false hearts and betrayal

Raat yeh dhalegi ab

This night will come to an end now

Aag laut aayi hai

The fire has returned

Chandni jale gi ab 

And now the moonlight will burn

This last part is a little bit obvious. Referencing his return to burn the moonlight, that which separates him from his goal, to cinders. He alludes to the Vashisht family’s time as head priest as the dark night he references. The night ending signifies that he plans to yank them back down to earth. He, Dev, is the fire that they will burn in this time, and he’ll start with their daughter. 

**It’s also very interesting how strong the motif of fire is in this show. Especially considering the role fire plays in Mahadev’s own life. He not only burned Kaamdev to cinders, but his own wife Sati also burned due to her father’s words. The same way Dev’s mother burned because of Chandni’s words. 

[arnavsinghraizada]

Even my TikTok puts IPKKND on my fyp - and I can’t describe the way I have to stop myself from starting comment wars with people who have such bad takes 🙄

[arnavsinghraizada]

Hi Amrit! Hope you're doing good. I was wondering what do you think IPKKND would have been like if Khushi was a NRI (think Zoya in Qubool Hai)? thank you! :)

Hi there! I’m doing okay, thank you! I hope you and yours are doing well. 

To give a very quick answer: It wouldn’t have been IPKKND. Because Khushi would not have been herself if she wasn’t exposed to the environmental cues she was. 

That’s a very cool question though and I think it would vary considerably depending on where this person is from, whether they were born here (by here I mean North America because - hey I’m egocentric). Also, wasn’t Zoya from North America if I remember right? Since those are the parameters set, let’s consider someone who was born in Canada (I’m Canadian, I can only speak for that). 

I think this is a pretty common fic trope/fandom fantasy. At the risk of sounding judgemental, I think it’s a result of associating liberation, feminism, and independence with the West and thinking those qualities could only shape a woman in that environment. I don’t agree. I’m going to answer this question operating under the assumption that it refers to a desire to see these behaviours. At the same time, I think a woman reared in an environment very much like the one I grew up in would have a very different relationship with a man like Arnav. 

Probably like testifying in court against him kind of vibes. Kidding, maybe. I don’t think we would have seen any of the plot points with a character that radically different. I don’t even think there would’ve been a story. 

What I think people want from this is a scenario in which Khushi is outspoken in a more abrasive way than she is in canon. She did that once and he was shocked into silence, I think if it were a regular thing, the shock would wear off and they would have UGLY fights. U G L Y.  

They already take very low shots at each other when they fight “you’re just mad because I'm right and you always need to be right” and he comes back with “let me make the money because I'm smart and you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” (okay so not really but that’s what it felt like)  

In short, I think we would see a sexually-focused courtship and if it even got to marriage an even faster divorce. I say that because I think Khushi’s ability to yield and hit from different angles makes for a more complementary relationship versus someone who attacks the same way Arnav does. Like me for example, he would say “let me make the money because I'm smart and you’re a fucking idiot” and I would say “well fuck I gotta be if this is what I fucking married yOU CLOWN” and WHO would that help, really? 

God, this answer reads like a fever dream. To again pick out the actual answer to your question: I think we would’ve had a story about sexual attraction, bad communication, and divorce. 

[arnavsinghraizada]

Hey Amrit. Lots of fritters your way. Lolsss, i have a question to ask from you. How do you think payal & Maami's relationship progressed till end of serial. I can't really figure out cuz ain't good at reading expressions. Thank you

Hi there! Ouu thank you for the pakode wish. Sorry for the delay in getting to this, my life has been off the charts lately. 

That is a very interesting question. I don’t have my source with me at the moment, but I read somewhere that when women live in cultures where they're disenfranchised and subjugated, they seek the ability to exercise power wherever they can find it. In many cases in Asian cultures, this takes the form of exercising authority as a mother-in-law. Due to the fact that women find themselves relegated to the domestic sphere, they develop a sort of authority on how the house is run, that becomes the way in which they express power. When a daughter-in-law enters this equation, she not only becomes a contender for that power, she becomes someone even more disenfranchised than her mother-in-law (who has had years to build her stronghold within the household). Many times, a mother-in-law will use this opportunity to exercise power and subjugate her daughter-in-law. 

The only reason I bring this up is that I’ve always found it interesting how ‘the evil saas’ has an academic anthropological explanation. This is very much what I believe is happening with Manorama and Payal’s relationship. Payal and Aakash mirror Mama and Mami’s relationship in some respects, the most glaring discrepancy being that Nani gives her full approval to their relationship. She was not as generous when it came to Manorama’s marriage. So Mami starts off seeing Payal as a dual competitor, for her household authority, but also for her place in her son’s life. It is an added sting that Nani approves of Payal but not Manorama. Manorama also heavily projects onto Payal, she takes the image she believes people have of her and applies it to Payal to demonize her and legitimize her own dislike. Sadly, it’s really herself she dislikes. 

So Manorama takes it upon herself to make Payal’s life difficult because well if she doesn’t, no one will and that simply isn’t fair. Having said that, I don’t think Manorama is a cruel person at heart and, while she enjoys taking her shots, she does eventually soften towards Payal when it becomes ridiculously apparent Payal is not her competition for an authoritative spot in the house. (It’s actually Khushi, being the patriarch’s wife and also just a busybody in general but that’s a discussion for another time). Manorama is an extremely prideful creature, exceptionally so. So she can’t just up and say “Hey Payal, I was wrong about you and I think you’re not that bad.” That would suggest a level of emotional maturity that NOBODY on this godforsaken show has except maybe Shashi. Instead, she tones her shots down, they become less frequent. In Manorama’s case, the absence of cruelty should very much be taken as affection. It’s also apparent that Payal begins to understand this and doesn’t take the nicknames or shots personally anymore, I think she develops an understanding of her mother-in-law and finds it hard to take insults that come from such a damaged person personally. 

From all suggestions, Garima had a positive relationship with her in-laws, if Buaji is any indication. Payal probably hopes for the same and so she learns to read between the lines and understand those positive interactions with Manorama will come from a more nuanced understanding over time. It seems to me that Manorama went in guns blazing with the intent to rip Payal limb from limb but isn’t cruel enough to see it through. I think she saw more of herself in Payal than she wanted to but the bravado she’d constructed to survive constant criticism from Nani stood in the way of being open about that. 

I’m sorry if this didn’t even answer your question, honestly, I have no idea what I’m saying by this point. Thank you for asking though!

[arnavsinghraizada]

Hey Amrit! You are the Arnav expert so I wanted to ask you, what do you think makes Arnav so different from Anjali when they both went through the same thing?

Hello friend! ...Wow!! That is quite possibly the nicest thing ever, that's so kind of you. I should put that in my bio now haha, The Arnav Expert. Thank you, I own the title now. 

 That's an extremely interesting question and I'd like to start off my answer with a counter-point. Arnav and Anjali did not go through the same thing. 

 They encountered the same stimulus, yes. However, their reactions were very different and that's because they're different people. Gender and ability (among probably many other factors) play a large role in adapting and reacting. I would argue that it's less what your gender is, more so what your understanding of gender is. Whether your definitions of masculinity and femininity include there being one caretaker and one more subservient being? I would also argue that Arnav and Anjali's definitions do include these things. We see from an early point that Arnav's personality tends to run to stoicism and aggression even before his parents died. He's always had an attitude problem and it's also implied that his attitude could be genetic. Dadiji goes out of her way to say that his father also had an attitude problem and that Arnav reminds her of him because of it. 

 So, I wouldn't say that Arnav's aggression and anger come exclusively from a response to a traumatic event. I would say that those traits were amplified in an effort to protect himself from the after-effects of the event. There's also the fact that research has shown that people can have a genetic susceptibility to trauma responses, that might also explain why Arnav could develop the symptoms of PTSD post-exposure to trauma, but Anjali does not. It has to do with reduced hippocampal volume (to put it very simply). These changes can increase an individual's likelihood of acquiring symptoms of PTSD. I don't have access to Arnav's brain scans so I cannot say this with certainty but hey, who knows?

 There's also the fact that Arnav and Anjali seem to have been socialized in a very odd way even before the traumatic event. My hypothesis is that Anjali was always coddled as a result of her polio, and so it was naturally understood that Arnav would one day assume a protective role (not to mention he seemed already inclined to being protective as a personality trait). I would argue this because I cannot imagine the degree to which this might have been pushed on them in order to facilitate such a natural shift within the entire Raizada family to Arnav becoming Anjali's ... guardian. Anjali accepts this, Mamaji and Mamiji (the actual adults) also accept this, so does Nani. No one questions this. So Anjali lost her parents, her marriage broke off but at least she still had her brother. 

Arnav lost his parents (in fact he WITNESSED it happen - Anjali did not), and then became the guardian to his older sister after being kicked out at age 14. My understanding of Arnav's understanding of his masculinity involves a gravitation towards the role of provider. In being forced into this position, he was also forced to confront what he could code as a failing in his own masculinity. This construction of the persona of ASR was a gradual one built of overcoming any potential shortcomings in fulfilling this role. The absence of vulnerability. Anjali does not seem to have been socialized to feel this way. In fact, Anjali found solace in religion instead. I would argue that Anjali's devoutness is actually also a trauma response. This overt reliance on the idea of circumstances being entirely outside of her control and in the hands of a higher power allows for her to avoid confronting the darker side of life and relationships. This kind of behaviour is a cognitive distortion. Now, some allowance could be made for the fact that this might not be a cross-cultural understanding of these ideas. 

However, Anjali's response to what should be commonplace events but fall under the potential banner of being 'inauspicious,' are very disproportionate. Her father cheated on her mother but she doesn't see this as even a remote possibility in her own relationship. I would say this isn't because she trusts him sooo blindly, but more so because she hasn't really processed that her father made an active choice to be unfaithful and that it could happen to anybody. Now, Anjali (and I do love her) loves attention. In particular, she prizes Arnav's attention. She never really had reason to believe it might not be hers until after Shyam's first reveal. That, coupled with the obvious stress of everything else happening and being pregnant, resulted in some very manipulative and maladaptive behaviour. Now, I again attribute this to their upbringing but I think Anjali knows how to twist people's arms to get her way without getting her own hands dirty. We've seen this many times but what presses me the most is that Anjali uses her health and well-being as a tool against Arnav a few times. A few times that I can distinctly recall that is. I would say that this is her version of the anger Arnav displays. 

While Arnav feels rage because of everything he lost and had thrown at him, Anjali craves attention and security.

TLDR:  In closing, I would say that they experienced different things. These things acted on personalities that were already radically different and exacerbated pre-existing understandings of gender relations. In addition, Anjali is not nearly as well-adjusted as people might like to imagine.

[arnavsinghraizada]

Hello Amrit, hope you are doing well :) So we have all obsessed with Arnav's relation with his family & Khushi. But one track that has always put me to splits is K's birthday - when Buaji rebukes him for forgetting her beloved niece's birthday (Buaji wins/ASR eliminated/Arnav appears). That was such a nice departure from the usual damaad-above-God scenario. So that makes me think, according to you, how were Arnav's equations with each of the Guptas by the end? Who did he get/got him the most?

Hello, S! 

I’m doing okay, thank you! How are you? I just finished a paper *phew*. 

That is an interesting question. I definitely agree with you that I like the subversion of Arnav being cowed by his in-laws rather than lording over them the way most presentations of that dynamic go. 

I think that Buaji and Arnav had an interesting dynamic, I would argue that they got each other the best. Arnav walks into her house, asks to see Khushi, she tells him he can’t, and he scoffs and walks past her anyways. She does nothing. Not because she’s afraid of him or anything, but because I feel like she gets him and she knows that he would see Khushi come hell or high tide. If Buaji had real objections to Arnav, that would be the clash of the titans. Arnav also humours Buaji in a way he almost doesn’t even humour Mamiji. We know he considers it his duty to alleviate Buaji’s financial troubles, so she is definitely one of his inner circle people. I would definitely say that they are the closest in that way. He acts almost child-like with Buaji, especially in that episode and I think he values her opinion and approval a lot. 

Arnav and Shashi don’t interact much, but I think Shashi knows him perhaps better than Buaji does. He does really observe him, after all. He sees a lot of the expressions Arnav schools away by the time everyone else looks at him. I think Arnav definitely has a deep respect for his father-in-law and would be willing to go to just about any lengths to help him, for sure. I like to think that he and Arnav interact more often once the show ends. 

Arnav and Garima were also an interesting dynamic, especially considering the entire situation with his father. Arnav went out on a limb for Garima by entering his wedding and proclaiming that the only person to blame was his father. We know that Arnav is the Raizada patriarch in that sense, his word is law. By making that declaration, he was not only saying it for himself, but also letting his entire family know that he didn’t blame Garima, and as a result, nor should they. Garima showed a keen sense of affinity understanding Arnav’s awkwardness in being a part of their family even before she realized what connection they had, scolding Khushi for trying to force him to call her Amma. That little interaction they had at the wedding where she tried to apologize and he told her he just wanted to move forward, I think cemented that for the two of them they had their love for Khushi in common. Garima loved Khushi so much she was willing to try and hide what the truth was and Arnav loved her so much he was willing to accept it and move forward. 

As for Payal, I think a similar idea applies. They’re both older siblings, they’re very protective. Arnav respects Payal a lot, she went toe to toe with him over Khushi and I don’t think he will ever forget that. They also share their love for Khushi and Aakash, they both are in that interesting position of “hurt my brother/sister and I’ll....” 

They have very calm interactions, by the end of it Payal is comfortable enough with him to tease him a bit over how she has double right to a gift because she’s his sister-in-law twice over. Arnav simply smiles fondly and agrees. I think they’re both kind of overshadowed by their younger siblings in the sense that Khushi is loud and boisterous and Aakash, while shy, is not as anti-social as Arnav can be by any means. There’s the added dynamic of them calling this person their sibling but they’re actually their cousin. 

TLDR; I think Arnav is closest to Buaji. I think he and Payal share a good relationship and he has intense respect for Shashi and Garima. 

[arnavsinghraizada]

Hey Amrit. Just wondering, why didnt Khushi ever wear the saree Arnav bought for her?

Hello, hello! I’m assuming you mean the sari he bought for her on her birthday? The one he bought himself, ordered himself, had packed himself and chose because he likes pink? (I love the list he goes through to prove that he’s done everything right this time... except, you know, being nice to her) 

At that moment, she didn’t wear it because she was already anxious and upset regarding everything else happening in the house and also idk man I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t like him very much just then. I, too, would not take kindly to being literally bullied over a sari. 

That sari looks very similar to the one she wore on the day of Shyam’s reveal so I would say she did wear it (at least in my head she did) - but lord, what a day she chose to wear it LOL. 

If you mean the sari he bought her the day of Shyam’s reveal, I couldn’t tell you why she never wore it. She doesn’t wear them often.