The Order Forgot Me First - Chapter 14
☆ PAIRING : Anakin Skywalker x Reader
☆ word count: 5.6k
☆ story themes: lovers to enemies to eventually lovers
☆ warnings: spoilers to SWTCW, some angst some fluff
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15
"When someone like Anakin shows up in the empty spaces of your life…you start filling in the blanks yourself."
Padme said nothing as they moved through the polished corridors, her heels echoing softly. Anakin’s steps required more effort, his boots heavier, like he was still somewhere else.
The walk was short but felt excruciatingly long.
They didn’t look at each other. But they moved in parallel.
Anakin fought the urge from trying to explain himself to Padme. His throat bobbed and his head hung low. He didn’t owe Padme anything. But he felt like he needed to clear things up.
“I wasn’t–”
“You don’t need to explain, Ani.” Padme cut him off gently, still not looking at him.
“I wasn’t going to apologise,” he said in a much quieter tone. “But, I wasn’t hiding anything either.”
Padme’s eyes flickered to her side, studying his sunken expression. The tension in his jaw, the exhaustion lining his features.
“I didn’t think you were,” she replied, “You’ve made it clear how you feel.”
It sounded a lot harsher than she intended, but she didn’t take it back. They turned a corner, passing a pair of clones that were stationed near her transport.
“You should know,” Anakin said, after a few paces. “She was worried.”
Padme lifted an eyebrow at this but allowed him to continue talking.
“In the medbay. She said something about…you and me. About how close we looked since she left.”
Padme’s head tilted. That caught her attention.
“She did?”
His voice dropped lower, less defensive, more raw. “She didn’t accuse me,” he added. “But she noticed. And I think it bothers her.”
Padme’s lips parted again.
“I…I didn’t realise she had seen it that way.”
Anakin gave her a slow nod, feeling something twist in his stomach. “Neither did I.” He rubbed his fingers absently.
He knew what came next. What should come next. The sensible thing. The right thing.
Padme did too. She dreaded it. Afraid of the solution he would give her. One that would force herself away from him, for the sake of his relationship. She didn’t want to hear it. She needed a resolution herself.
The words began to form, his throat felt like it was tightening.
“What if—”
“I should go.” Padme interrupted abruptly, turning to look towards her transport ahead. Anakin froze mid step, his mouth left hanging and his words abandoned in the air.
Padme didn’t wait for him, her heels clicking and drowning out whatever he might say.
Anakin stood there, his eyes dark with something unreadable.
But for Padme?
The thought stuck in her mind. Quiet and unresolved.
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
The morning light bled through your thin blinds, turning your room into golds and shadows.
Your body ached, your ribs were still wrapped around in both bandages and the ghosts of Vale’s fingerprints. You groaned. The memory of his hands around you didn’t disappear overnight. Not that you had expected it to.
You sat up slowly, exhaling through clenched teeth as your body attempted to fight off your sleep. The bacta patches were warm and pulsing, still doing their job.
You stretched your arms over your head and sighed as they fell down on your lap. Your datapad blinked on the nightstand with a single line notification.
Picking it up, you thumbed it open out of habit and began to skim through your personal logs and assignments.
You scrolled through your tasks list but it was blanked. Furrowing your eyebrows, you switched between tabs trying to find it.
That high-priority mission from two days ago, the Deep-space scouting operation was gone. Just disappeared.
Not reassigned.
Not cancelled.
Erased.
You stared at the screen for a moment, frowning. There was no Council note or transfer of assignment.
You dropped your datapad away to take with you. It didn’t feel important. Not now. Someone else can deal with the other minefields.
You traded your clothes for some loose pants and a short sleeve grey compression shirt.
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
The Temple was quieter than usual today. Not dead but as if it was in between a few things.
Some soldiers laughed, their helmets under their arms. A few offered you a short “Commander,” as you passed, you nodded. You weren’t sure if they did it out of habit or genuine respect.
Once you reached the mess, it was mid cycle. There were rows of both Jedi but majority clones hunched over their ration trays. The hum of conversations and occasional clatter of utensils filled the space.
You hesitated at the entrance, grabbing a tray and moved to the serving line. You exhaled, your anxiety meeting you at a place that you had never experienced before. Ever since you came back, you avoided places like these. Often opting out for some take out and eating alone, this was different. It was just before lunch, soldiers wanting to eat before the rush, yet early enough it could be considered late breakfast.
“Been a while, Commander.” You looked up to the voice that belonged to the mess attendant, an older soldier. His armour was replaced with a simple kitchen tunic but his posture remained rigid.
“You want the usual?”
You glanced down at what was offered. A nut paste. Ration bread. And something green you didn’t want to question.
You nodded. “Yes, please.” The familiarity of his words settled strangely in your chest.
He worked quickly and scooped your portions onto your tray. “Good to see you back,” he added, handing it over. “We’ve lost a few good people,” he glanced up at you. You stared back at him, unsure of what to say. Giving him a force tightlipped smile, you replied back.
“Thanks,” and you took your food and moved to the booths near the window, overlooking Coruscant’s skyline. The city was alive. Air traffic never stops.
You dropped your tray down and sat, your fingers twitching absently near your spoon.
You would always spend your time eating here with Ahsoka. You were lighthearted, quick to speak with nearby soldiers, making jokes and such. But it seems the war killed that part of you.
You were alone now.
Holding the spoon in one hand, you scooped up the nut paste and brought it to your mouth. Your face instantly contoured in disgust. You had completely forgotten what it tasted like. Often just leaving it on your plate and eating the bread instead.
You brought your datapad out.
No messages.
You weren’t expecting any, but still.
A few minutes passed in silence. You forced yourself to eat. There were a few glances. Some that were quick, others like they were measuring.
It made sense, some have seen you since you came back. Others not.
Then—
“You just gonna sit there looking miserable all day?”
You looked up.
Fives stood in front of your table, tray in his hand and his brow raised with amusement. Kix was behind him, taking a bite of something suspicious-looking into his mouth.
“I’ve only been sitting for five minutes,” you muttered.
Fives chuckled and slid into the booth without warning, both him and Kix sitting across from you.
“How’s the shoulder?” Kix asked, eyeing you as you slowly took a bite out of the mystery green. Not bad. Warm.
You shrugged, swallowing the food down. “Not bad. Good enough to fake it.” You picked up another spoonful, “I get the feeling though the Temple medics care more about paperwork than pain thresholds.”
“They are,” Kix said flatly. “I helped train some. They log bruises like war crimes.”
You smirked a little, but didn’t reply back.
Fives tilted his head, “so? How’s it feel being back?”
You hesitated a little. It wasn’t all that great. Retrospectively there have been no positives since you came. A little fame? Maybe, yeah.
You played with your food a little before answering, poking at the nut paste. “I don’t know,” you admitted.
Five’s noticed the hesitation behind your voice. Your anxious fidgeting. He didn’t push any further. He nodded slowly and took a bite of his bread. “That’s fair.”
“And you guys?” You looked up at both of them.
“Other than standard galactic chaos? The usual.” Kix deadpanned.
“Oh and someone broke the showers on sublevel three,” Fives added. “Still an unsolved mystery.”
You snorted and rolled your eyes. The tension on your shoulders eased. There was a pause, long enough for you all to settle into something more comfortable. You stared out the window to Coruscant’s air traffic. Somewhere someone was dying. Somewhere, the war kept spinning.
Fives leaned back, watching you. Noticing the way your hair looked a different colour under the sun. He wasn’t trying to measure your recovery. Or your small scars that littered your skin. Something quieter.
“They got you back on rotation yet?”
Turning your gaze back to Fives, you cleared your throat. “I think so,” you said. “Nothing’s been confirmed.”
As if on cue, your datapad buzzed softly next to your tray.
You picked it up and swiped on the notification before you could think.
Kamino Medical Liaison Assignment – Commander L/n
Tipoca City, Kamino — Medical Level Pending confirmation.
Priority Tag: Observational Only
You stared at it.
“You good?” Kix asked.
You exhaled softly. “Yeah. Just got my assignment.”
“Kriff, that was fast,” Fives muttered. “Where to?”
“Kamino.”
Both their expressions shifted. And you knew what it meant. This isn't your field. Your role here was just to observe. Be on the sidelines.
Kix took a sip of caf. “Medical support, I’m guessing?”
You nodded. “Feels like they don’t know what to do with me,” you replied.
Kix’s tone softened, noticing your disheartened voice. “You’ll make a difference there. A real one.”
Fives nodded in agreement. “Yeah. And honestly? They could use someone like you on Kamino. They listen more when it’s not a Kaminoan.”
You looked down at your tray. It wasn’t what you wanted. But it was something. And maybe it was enough for now.
The silence said enough.
“For what it’s worth…I’m glad you’re back.” Fives added.
You glanced up at his reassuring smile.
Kix let out a quiet breath. “Yeah. And if you ever feel like stabbing someone, I can slip you a scalpel from the medbay.”
You huffed out a laugh. “Comforting,” you said dryly, they both chuckled.
The ache in your chest didn’t go away. But it did settle.
Before Fives could make his own smart comment, Kix stood up, glancing at his chrono. “Alright, I got to head back. Nice to see you, Commander.”
“Likewise,” you shot him a tight-lipped smile.
Fives sat and watched you quietly as Kix walked away.
There was a moment of silence as you accepted the mission and then picked up your spoon again, ready to absentmindedly nudge your food.
“You don’t have to pretend,” Fives’ gruff voice made you look up at him.
“Hm?”
“To be okay. To be back.”
You gave him a small smile. “I know..”
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
Anakin leaned against the wall, his arms crossed and his eyes fixated on a datapad he hadn’t actually processed in twenty minutes. He kept rereading the same sentence again. Again. And again. And still he wasn’t making sense of anything.
It never stopped.
“You’re brooding again,” Obi-wan’s voice came behind him.
“I’m reading, Master.” Anakin shot back without looking up.
“You’re rereading the same report you send me three days ago.”
Anakin signed and let the datapad drop against his thigh and he turned his head to look at Obi-wan. He was stood near the entrance of the war room, his arms around his back, and he looked tired. Everyone looked tired these days.
“Didn’t realise I was being watched,” he shrugged.
“You make it very easy,” Obi-wan replied, stepping beside him.
“Good to know.”
They stood for a few moments, watching a few younglings pass by the window, holding a stack of training manuls.
“You could rest, you know,” Obi-wan said. “You’re not on rotation until tomorrow.”
“Resting doesn’t fix anything.”
“It’s not meant to fix anything. It’s meant to keep you alive long enough for you to try.”
He didn’t respond, but his jaw was tight and his eyes unfocused again.
“You’re not sleeping, are you?”
Another beat of silence.
“Do you ever stop keeping track?” Anakin asked, his voice flat.
“Excuse me?”
“Every death. Every mission that doesn’t go the way it was planned. Do you ever stop counting?
Obi-wan doesn’t reply right away. “Not really,” he admitted. “But I try to remember why we’re fighting.”
Anakin let out a humourless laugh. “And what if you’re not sure anymore?”
“You are sure,” He said firmly. “You just hate what it costs you.”
Anakin looked down at his hands. Once that had a black glove. The other was rough and had scarred skin.
Obi-wan stepped away, giving him space.
“I have another Council meeting. Try not to lose your mind in the next hour.”
“Sure. Put it on the pile.” Anakin muttered.
Obi-wan gave him one last look before retreating back.
Anakin stared out the window. It was only late afternoon but he hated this part of the day. The outside was harsh and golden but the sunlight pressed against the glass, warm and unrelenting. It caught on his face, the side of his neck and the strip of skin beneath his collar.
The Temple walls didn’t breathe much at this house. It was quiet and still. It had weight with things he didn’t want to remember. His skin felt itchy.
It came around this time of day. Where he would remember sitting on the cracked sunbaked steps as a boy, sweat drying on his back. His house was too hot to enter but the air outside tasted like dust and waiting for something. Like hope.
This tasted the same.
He hated this part of the day.
The sun shouldn’t make him feel like this.
His thoughts spiraled too easily.
His mother. Ahsoka. Y/n.
Every name he couldn’t say out loud but every connection he wasn’t allowed to keep. Every person who slipped out of his reach.
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
After the mess hall you had showered off the Temple’s humidity and returned to your room. You were not curled on your sleep couch, datapad propped against your knee. Half reading through post-battle debriefs, politics and whatever piqued your interest at this hour. Which was nothing. Your eyes moved but your brain didn’t.
Your mind couldn’t help but wander off to Anakin. What had happened that night. The way his head was so close to yours. His breath against yours.
The ping of your datapad interrupted your thoughts. It wasn’t the usual Temple alert note but a softer one.
You tapped the blinking corner and a new message slid across your screen.
Secure Direct Comm Link
Sender: Senator Padme Amidala
If you’re free tonight…I’d like to speak with you. Come to mine for dinner. Just us. No guards or formalities. Wear anything you’d like, please.
And then a second message appeared.
I owe you clarity.
You stared longer than you meant to. You weren’t sure how to feel about this. Before leaving, Padme and you weren’t exactly close. Yes, you would speak to her from time to time, but anything one on one was different.
But you stood anyway. Something you’d like? You walked over to your closet and skimmed past your uniforms, temple issued gear. And settled on black. Something that was you.
--- --- --- --- --- --- ---
The corridors to the apartment were quiet in the evening. You smoothed your outfit again, even though you had checked it multiple times in the mirror.
It was simple. A long sleeved black dress that hugged your thighs and then flared below your calves and had a square neckline that framed the top of your chest.
The door slid open before you could buzz.
“Y/n!” Padme said warmly, engulfing in your hug before letting you go equally as fast. “I’m glad you came.”
“It’s lovely to see you,” you said politely, stepping into her dimly lit apartment. I twas curated so guests could come even when they didn’t company.
The table was already set. Two plates and a few covered dishes still seaming.
“You look beautiful,” she said.
You softly smiled at her, “thank you. You look great as well.” Unsure of how to exactly compliment her.
She was dressed more simply than usual. An elegant cream wrap around dress but she still managed to make it look expensive. Her hair was pinned back and she had a green jweled necklace on.
“I hope this isn’t too strange,” she said. She then motioned to the table. “Please, sit. It;s just roast and steamed greens. Nothing fancy.”
“No! It’s great. Beats anything in the mess hall.” You joked, taking a seat across from her in the small table.
She lifted the covers from the dish and began plating both your plates quietly. You sat, unsure where to put your hands.
“How’s your side?”
You blinked. “Sorry?”
Padme gestured towards your ribs. “Is it healed yet?”
You nodded slowly, sometimes forgetting you were injured yourself. “It’s just bruises now. The bacta helps but…yeah.”
“Good.” She smiled softly, setting down your plate. “You didn’t show it that night.”
“I didn’t want to.”
Padme gave a quiet hum. “I wouldn’t have either.”
You picked up your fork and began pushing at pieces of green.
“Monian seemed…captivated.” Your eyes flicked up at her, your jaw tightened slightly, but you didn’t respond.
She didn’t push. Instead she leaned back and took a slow sip before glass before speaking again. “You’ve been through a lot since Dev. The temple. The injuries. Vale.” She began to pick up her fork and knife, gnawing at the piece of meat. “It’s a wonder how you’re still alive.”
“It doesn’t feel much of a comeback.” You muttered.
“It does to the people watching.”
She softened again. “You don’t have to talk about him, if you don’t want to.”
“Dev?”
“No,” she hesitated. “Anakin.”
You swallowed and shut up immediately. This was what she wanted to talk to you about. Anakin. You knew this was coming.
The silence stretched just a bit longer than usual.
“I wanted to speak with you sooner,” Padme said carefully. “But it never felt like the right time.”
“There wasn’t a right time.”
She nodded in agreement. “No. There wasn’t.”
She inhaled deeply as you took a sip of your wine. “I spoke to Anakin briefly. He mentioned something.” She hesitated. “About you being in the medbay… That you brought me up.”
Your heart panged.
“I think there may have been… some misunderstanding. Or at least it’s been weighing on you and I should have addressed it earlier.”
Her voice didn’t waver.
“About me. And Anakin.” She looked at you directly, her fork hovering in the air before bringing it to her mouth.
She chewed and swallowed, leaving you anxiously sitting there waiting for her to continue.
“After you left the Order…he broke down. I don’t think anyone but Obi-wan and I noticed. He was…angry, reckless. Hurt in ways he couldn’t say.”
You didn’t speak. Your food left abandoned on the plate.
“I listened. I was there. We had met when we were both only children. It made sense for him to confide in me.”
“You say that like I should thank you.”
Padme’s eyes flickered with something. “I’m not asking you to. I’m saying it because no one else will. And because you looked at me like I had taken something from you.”
“Why are you even telling me this?” You swallowed.
Her tone shifted to something quieter. “Because it’s easier to hate someone when you only have half the truth.” She met your eyes.
You stared for a long moment. “I’m a Jedi. Or…I was. We’re not even supposed to think about things like this. Relationships. Possession. Attachment. It’s forbidden.”
“I’m not suggesting anything,” Padme defensively said. “And neither was he.”
“Then why bring it up?” You asked.
She paused then took a slow breath. “I don’t want you to get this wrong idea. Obi-wan and I…We both tried. We weren’t trying to replace you.”
You stared at your plate again. It was going cold now. The roast untouched beside the greens.
“Replace me?” you repeated. “Padme. I left. There was no replacing. I wasn’t there to be missed.”
“That’s not true.”
You looked at her, dropping your diplomatic mask. “I was hurt too, you know? My whole life changed that day…And when I came back…It didn’t get any easier.”
“I know,” she set down her utensils. The silence felt heavier than anything she could have said.
“Anakin–he tried. Tried to reach you. He didn’t have many people he could trust, and after you left…”
Her words trailed off but you were still looking at her. Your eyes now burning.
“I thought I knew him better than anyone else,” you let out a humourless laugh. “And then I came back and it was…it was like I was intruding on something.”
A pause.
“I was always so careful,” she began. “Careful with everything. Until him.”
There it was.
You didn’t speak. Not yet.
How could you respond to that? To someone else’s version of your person? To the realisation that while you were gone, the possibility of someone else falling for him wasn’t unexpected.
“He came to me a lot. I thought…I thought I was helping.” She glanced down and swirled her wine in her glass without taking a sip.
“Perhaps part of me misread that closeness for something else.”
You blinked. “Misread it how?”
She had a small, self-deprecating smile. A little ashamed. “I thought maybe he felt something more. I didn’t act on it. But I felt it. Or I thought I did.”
She wasn’t lying. She looked embarrassed to even tell you this.
“Did he…”
Padme shook her head immediately. “He never crossed the lines between Jedi and Senator. Perhaps in friendship, yes. But he was there. All the time. When someone like Anakin shows up in the empty spaces of your life…you start filling in the blanks yourself.”
Suddenly clearing her throat, she began to take her fork and eat food from her plate. “You don’t have to believe me.” She said in between bites. “But I think he felt more for you than he’s ever let himself say.”
You didn’t move but something in your chest did. She must’ve noticed because she didn’t press you any further. Didn’t try to convince you.
You glanced down at your plate and then at her cityscape window. Coruscant was always beautiful at night.
“I didn’t know what to expect coming here,” you finally muttered. “Sitting down and talking to you.”
“I didn’t invite you to try and provoke you, honestly.” She said gently. “I just didn’t want you to believe I would do anything to hurt you.”
You nodded and began to eat your own food, not wanting it to go to waste,
“I honestly think he’s still trying to figure out if you’re real.” She said to which you snorted.
“I think he resents me,” you murmured.
“I think he resents himself.”
You glanced up at her once and then continued eating. Not wanting that last comment to ruin your appetite. Anakin meant everything to you. Just the thought that maybe, maybe he hated himself, made you feel sick.
After more eating and quiet talk, no longer about Anakin but rather how much or less the Order changed, she finally stood up.
She took your plates and began to clear them, you moved to help but she stopped you gently.
“I’ve got it. Thank you.” She said kindly. You watched her back. The posture of someone who felt things they should not, but working to amend them.
You smoothed out your dress.
“I never hated you, Padme.” You said honestly. “I’m glad that we had this talk, really.”
She looked over at you and gave you a small smile, her eyes bright. “I feel the same way, Y/n.”
You held her gaze for a moment before walking to the door, Padme escorting you out.
“Thank you for the dinner tonight. It was beautiful.” You stood out the corridor.
She shook her head, “My pleasure. I hope you have a safe trip home.”
You nodded and then bid your farewells. The city had begun to quieten down. By the time you reached your speeder, the night wind bit at your skin. You boarded the transport back to the Temple, the weight of the conversation still hanging in your chest.
--- --- --- --- --- --- ---
You finally turned into the final corridor towards your quarters, your footsteps soft against the polished hard floor. There was a deep blue that cast over the sleeping Temple. You were just as ready to fall asleep as everyone else.
As you rounded the corridor, you paused immediately in place.
Anakin.
Sitting outside your door.
His legs lie flat on the floor. Hands loose in his lap. His head leaning against the wall like he’d been waiting a while.
Your heart dropped to your stomach.
“What the hell,” you whispered harshly, walking over to him with a dumbfounded expression. “What are you doing here?”
He blinked slowly and stood up, almost sheepish. His hair was messier than usual and his tunic was wrinkled.
Stepping closer to him, your voice was hushed but sharp. “Are you out of your mind? If someone sees you—”
“No one’s going to see me,” he muttered. “Everyone’s asleep.”
“Yeah, well. We’re not.” You snapped back, glancing between both sides of the hallway. “You’re standing outside my room like a lunatic—what do you want?”
He looked at you, his dark eyes boring into yours.
“I needed to see you.”
You scoffed, “So you waited out here like a creep?”
“I tried knocking,” he shot you a small smirk, as if this was amusing.
You rolled your eyes and key’d your door open, stepping inside and Anakin following in. This didn’t feel good. This didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like what it was before. When he would actually sneak into your room late at night. This felt blatantly wrong.
“I didn’t know when you’d be back.” His eyes began to trail down your figure. Memorising every little detail of your dress. The way it hugged your body. Your lace sleeves. The way it was simple but you simply being in it was enough to leave Anakin longing for more.
And then he snapped out of it. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked back up to your eyes. “Where were you? Why are you dressed like that?”
“Why do you care?” You tested.
His jaw flexed, just once, but hard enough to say everything he wasn’t saying.
“I went to go see Padme,” you said.
Anakin tilted his head, “Padme?”
“Mhm,” you hummed, stepping further back into your room while still facing him. But Anakin moved towards you at the same time.
“You told her what I said in the medbay? Really, Anakin.” You scoffed looking away from him.
He inhaled quietly. “I didn’t mean for her to bring it up to you.”
“But it still happened.” You looked back at him in disbelief. “Do you just talk about me to whoever’s around when I’m not there?”
His mouth opened slightly, and then closed again. He licked his lips.
“I didn’t mean for it to be like that," he muttered in a low voice.
“Totally, Anakin.” You bitterly laughed under your breath. “How embarrassing.”
“I was trying to explain. She could tell I was acting differently. I didn’t even say much.”
You didn’t say anything. You just pressed your lips together and looked away. Trying to ignore the way the Force felt like it was pulling you both in together. How just being in the same room as Anakin Skywalker made everything feel sharper.
“Whatever,” you muttered. “It’s done now.”
“Y/n.”
You looked over at him.
“I didn’t know you were going out tonight,” he said in a much softer tone.
You rubbed your face with your palm, feeling the day weighing down on you. “It wasn’t a secret.”
This made his jaw tick. He took one step closer, then another. You didn’t trust yourself to move.
“I didn’t know where you went, or who you were with…” He trailed off. He was close now. “I hated it.”
You blinked. “You’re not entitled to know anymore.”
“I know,” he murmured. “But I still hated it.”
His voice was lower now, more rough. You smelt the slightest trace of his cologne. Your eyes dipped down to his mouth before catching yourself.
He wouldn’t stop looking at you. You felt uneasy under his gaze. His dark eyes.
“Why are you here, Anakin?” You asked in a voice that was barely a whisper.
He hesitated. “I wanted to see you.”
Your chest burned.
“That’s not fair.”
“I know.”
You didn’t move but neither did. Maybe if you stood long enough something would break. Like a crash. An attack. Someone walking in.
But nothing.
It was so quiet.
You couldn’t distinguish the sound of your own breath between his.
You felt your heartbeat against your chest.
“Anakin…” you whispered, unsure if he heard you or not.
But he did.
His breath hitched and his eyes kept flickering between your mouth and above.
Your mouth.
Your eyes.
Your mouth.
Your eyes.
The air between you had gone heavy, charged. Like the Force itself was holding its own breath.
He then stepped closer. Just once.
A single step that brought him too close. Close enough that his chest brushed against yours and it felt hot to the touch.
His hand lifted slowly, cautiously. Like he was hesitating. Waiting for you to push him away like you always did. Waiting for you to yell at him again. But you didn’t. You couldn’t move, not with the way he was staring at you.
His fingers found your chin, tilting your face up towards his.
He leaned in. Closer. So slow it was unbearable.
His jaw was tense. His lips parted slightly. His eyes, dark and unreadable. But they began to flutter shut.
And then, finally.
His lips brushed against yours. A ghost of a touch. Barely there.
Like he was waiting. Waiting for you to pull back. To tell him this was wrong. But you didn’t.
And then.
His mouth pressed against yours.
It was soft. Softer than anything he’d ever done. Than any kiss you have shared in the past.
And you kissed him back, the tension shattering. It was slow. Like neither of you trusted it to be real.
His hand moved up to your cheek, his thumb skimming along your jawline. His other hand settled onto your waist, so carefully, so slowly. Terrified that you would disappear if he didn’t anchor himself onto you.
He tilted his head, enough to deepen the kiss. Your mouths moved together like it was instinct. It was slow and aching. A kiss that whispered I missed you if he couldn’t say it in words.
Your own hands moved too, fisting the fabric at his shoulders, pulling him in closer.
He pulled back for just a breaths distance.
Neither of you said a word.
His chest moved up and down. Both of your eyes were closed and neither of you moved away.
You didn’t say anything.
So he kissed you again.
Deeper this time. Still soft but hungrier. Like his restraint was slipping and he was starving.
He leaned over you, more urgently. Like everytime he pulled back, everytime your lips parted by only an inch, he couldn’t stop himself from coming back in. Like he was afraid he would never have this chance again.
His lips began to dip lower. Pressing another kiss just below your mouth. Then again, lower, at the curve of your jaw. And another at your neck. The sound of his lips on your skin was enough for you.
“Ani…” you murmured without thinking.
He paused for half a second but didn’t react, he just exhaled against your skin like he needed to hear it.
He finally pulled back, but only by inches. His hands still on your waist and his brown drawn. His eyes still flickering between yours and your mouth like he hasn’t had enough.
“You can’t do this,” his voice hoarse. “You can’t come back, kiss me like that, and leave me again.”
Your throat tightened. “I didn’t plan this.”
“But it happened.” He said. “And I can’t stop thinking about you. I haven’t. Not for a second.”
You swallowed, your eyes searching his desperate ones.
His voice dropped, “You can’t walk away from this again, not like nothing happened.”
His chest was rising like he was holding back everything else he wanted to say.
“I’m not,” you whispered. “But you need to go.” You stepped back carefully. Your hands leaving his body and his to yours. It pained him.
“You don’t mean that.”
“Anakin, please.”
He looked at you like you were killing him.
But without a word, with hope in his heart, he stepped back towards the door. You didn’t move. You didn’t bid him goodnight. You couldn’t. You couldn’t when you still felt his touch on you. His lips against yours.
And finally, he walked out, not with anger or regret. But with everything left unsaid.
A/n: guys... im so sorry istg like this took me agesss ive just been going through so much stuff rn im SRRY IF IT DIDNT MEET UR EXPECTATIONSSSS BUT IT HAPPENED i want to clarify series isnt over until rots until then more drama and stufff not done with the angst fully yet but guysssssss WAS THE KISS RUSHED PLZ SAY NO
also im going to respond to everyones comments on my last few posts thanks to literally everyone who was checking up on me its the sweetest thing ever and i never ever imagined people loved my writing to the point of waiting and thinking about it like daysss afterwars seriously its the sweetest
i really hope u guys liked this chapter, i have my final exam on monday so after that hopefully more regular posts!
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PLZ LMK WHAT U GUYS THINK this also wasnt proof read so like ignore the typos </3
