The Order Forgot Me First - Chapter 18
☆ PAIRING : Anakin Skywalker x Reader
☆ word count: 7.2k
☆ story themes: lovers to enemies to eventually lovers
☆ warnings: spoilers to SWTCW, fluff and tinge but if angst
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18
“You're flying across half the galaxy for her.”
You woke up before dawn, although ‘before dawn’ meant little in Coruscant standards. The city would never sleep, just change colours. The Masters had already begun their meditation in the temple, planning and executing their day. You lay there for a moment, listening to the distant air traffic and the hum of the Temple’s energy systems that never shut off.
You sat up, pulling the blanket closer to your chest as if it would shield you from the memory of yesterday. His tears, your hand in his hair and the nearness you swore you would never allow again.
The chrono blinked 06:03. He should have been in the Council chamber by now, discussing the ordeal with the Chancellor. You exhaled through your nose and pushed yourself out of bed. Shower. Uniform. You’d barely pulled your cream top on before your commlink chirped.
Your heart skipped a beat and you looked over at the little silver device on your desk. For one stupid second you thought about ignoring it before you saw the frequency code.
You thumbed your commlink before letting your mind argue.
“General Skywalker,” you said, pretending that maybe professionalism would be easier than the heat in your stomach.
There was some static before his voice came through lower than usual. “You’re up early.”
“Kinda hard to sleep,” you tried to sound casual. “You?”
There was a pause. You could picture him rubbing his eyes in the way they he always did when he had been awake for too long. “Had to be at a meeting with both the Council and Chancellor by first bell,” he said. “They…finalised the report.”
You sat down and sank into your bed, wishing that it would engulf you. “Yeah?” You said with an almost shaky voice.
“There was another cause that the doctors found. A parasite both Tup and Fives shared probably from water in Ringo Vinda,” he said, recalling what the Chancellor had told him. “It made their chips decay.”
You pressed your palm over your mouth, trying to process what he had just said.
“And you believe that?” You asked cautiously.
Anakin furrowed his eyebrows, “why would the Chancellor lie about that?”
“No, it's just…I don’t know, it seems a bit weird.”
He went quiet for a beat too long. “Three people died. Speculating will just make it worse.”
You gnawed on the inside of your mouth, not liking the way he was dismissing you.
He inhaled deeply, immediately noticing the way you went quiet. And then softly, “you should take the day off.”
You wanted to say something sharp or argue but the exhaustion in his voice stopped you, so instead you tried to laugh it off. “Is that an order, General Skywalker?”
“It’s…advice.” He hesitated. “You shouldn’t be pushing yourself right now, especially after everything.”
You could almost imagine the furrow between his brows and the way his robotic hand clenched anxiously. “You’re one to talk,” you murmured.
“I’m serious,” he said. “You’ve done enough. Just—stay in the Temple. That’s an order if it makes it easier.”
You smiled, as weird as it sounded, you liked it when he ordered you around. It wasn’t something you were used to. “Since when do you care so much about protocol?”
“I care about you collapsing,” he shot back.
You rolled your eyes, trying your hardest to ignore the warmth in your stomach. Trying to ignore the memory of his against your cheek.
“Well…what about you?”
He didn’t answer right away. “I’ll manage.”
“You always say that.”
“And I always do,” he sighed. “Look…I know last night— I mean, thank you. For staying.
You wanted to shake him to realise that he never needed to thank you, that he wasn’t alone and to never shut you out again. Instead, you said, “Anytime.”
There was a silence again. And you knew if he was in the room with you he would be dangerously close. Not touching but just enough that it made breathing seem like an effort.
Finally, he broke it. “I’ll check in later. Promise me you’ll rest?”
You tilted your head smiling, “fine. I’ll rest.”
“Good.” The line stayed longer than necessary and you heard him inhale, like he wanted to add something. Then the channel cut.
You sat there, your covers now down to your lap, staring at the commlink like it had personally offended you. You then attached it to your wrist and dragged in a breath, forcing yourself to move. A day off didn’t mean idle work.
You ended up in the canteen more out of habit than hunger.
It smelled of roasted caf beans and disinfectant. Clones were refilling their mugs and a few padawans sat in a corner, still half asleep and mumbling about their lessons. It felt too normal and somehow it made it worse.
You ended up grabbing yourself a plain ration loaf and a double shot caf. When the tray slid onto the counter, a familiar voice rumbled behind you.
“Didn’t expect to see you here, Commander.”
You turned to see Rex a few steps away. He looked…tired wasn’t even the word for it. Hollow maybe? A stillness around him you only ever saw after a battlefield.”
“Morning, Captain.” You gestured to an empty seat. “Join me?”
He nodded, setting his cup of caf onto the table before sitting. His gloved hand stayed folded and his armour creaked when he leaned forward. You picked up your own tray and set it down.
Neither of you spoke for a long moment. You brought your caf to your mouth and relished the bitter taste. Finally, you broke the silence. “How are the boys holding up?”
He blew out air through his nose. “The boys are quiet. Jesse is trying to keep things light but it’s hard to joke when everyone’s pretending to not see two empty bunks.”
You swallowed, feeling your throat tighten. You paused, wanting to find the right words. “They didn’t deserve what happened.”
Rex clenched his jaw. “No, they didn’t.”
You stared down at your toast, already having lost your appetite. “They were both good soldiers. Their stories won’t be forgotten.”
Rex nodded but didn’t say much. His heart hurt knowing he wouldn’t get his brothers back.
“Anakin called this morning. Said it was a parasite?”
“Figures.” Rex said, his voice flat. “Whatever it was, it’s in the past.”
You looked up at him. “You did everything right, Rex. None of it was on you.”
He gave a humourless half-smile. “That’s exactly what General Skywalker said. Can’t say it helps much.”
All you wanted to do was pull him into a hug. Instead, you both sat there with that. The quiet stretched but it wasn’t uncomfortable, just heavy. It was only when you pushed your tray back that he spoke.
“You headed anywhere?”
“Think I’m just going to take a walk,” you said. “Need to see the Temple when it’s not falling apart.”
He nodded. “Mind if I walk with you?”
“Not at all.”
-------- -------- -------- -------
The Temple corridors were still quiet. A few Jedi passed by, calm, serene and detached. The outside of the Temple glowed with a soft amber and speeders wove like lazy fireflies. For a second you could pretend there was no war in the Galaxy.
Rex broke the silence. “Feels strange being here this early.”
“In the Temple?”
He shrugged one shoulder. “Place always felt strange for us clones. A lot quieter than I thought.”
“Quiet is a relative term,” you said, stepping past a group of younglings that hurried past with training sabers. “You just haven’t seen it when the Masters are arguing philosophy.”
He chuckled out loud at that. The first time he sounded remotely human since Ringo Vinda.
“I never did apologise for that whole scene in the courtyard,” you started off awkwardly.
“The argument with General Skywalker?” He raised a brow.
You hummed in agreement. “Sorry for…yelling at you like that,” you couldn’t look at him in embarrassment.
Rex then grinned, “It’s fine. It’s not everyday you see the General get lectured.”
You snorted, “you’d be surprised.”
The lower levels smelled faintly of metal and dust. The training hall was open and there was a steady rhythm of clashing between practice blades echoing down the hall. You slowed down automatically, drawn to the sound.
Inside were half a dozen Padawans sparring under a Knight’s supervision. Their blue sabers flickered, their movements were hesitant yet some were sharp. You leaned against the railing, watching their movement patterns.
Strike.
Block.
Retreat.
Breathe.
It felt like a lifetime ago when you were learning that.
“Didn’t think I’d see you spectating,” a voice came from your left.
You turned and there he was.
Anakin stood a few meters away, his arms crossed and his robe half open like he had thrown it on in a hurry. Beside him was Obi-wan who observed the sparring matches with a faint smile.
Rex straightened automatically. “General Skywalker. General Kenobi.”
“At ease, Captain,” Anakin said, eyeing Rex, a flicker of warmth in his tone before his eyes landed on you. “Didn’t I tell you to rest?”
“I am,” you said. “Standing still counts.”
Obi-wan chuckled under his breath. “That’s the most you’ll get out of her, Anakin. You should know that by now.”
“Unfortunately,” he said, turning back to the ring, pretending to focus. But you saw the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.
Obi-wan folded his arms behind his back. “I was just telling Anakin that it’s good for the younglings to see commanders like you still breathing. It keeps morale up.”
You raised an eyebrow at Obi-wan. “So I’m the morale poster now?”
Rex huffed a laugh. “Could use more posters like you, ma’am, instead of the propaganda smiles.”
“She’d probably scare half the recruits into behaving,” Anakin glanced over his shoulder, his grin sharp.
“I’ll put that to the test next time when you decide to improvise mid-mission.”
He pressed a hand to his chest. “I improve to save lives.”
Obi-wan’s mouth twitched, “if improvisation was a rank, you’d be a Jedi Master by now.”
Anakin grinned, trying to act unbothered. “Titles are overrated anyways.” Maker, he was impossible to not look at. The way his robe hung open just enough to show his dark tunic under, his blue eyes catching the training hall light and the way his curls sat so perfectly. He had no right.
He noticed you watched. His smirk titled just slightly and the quiet arrogance became more endearing than it should be. You averted your gaze instantly, acting as if the warmth wasn’t climbing up your neck.
Obi-wan, either oblivious to the situation or merciful, changed the topic. “Rex, how are the men holding up?”
Rex inhaled, “still shaken, sir,” he said. “Losing Fives in a way like that hit hard. We’re…managing.”
Obi-wan hummed and the humour bled out. Your grip on the railing tightened as the clashing of the sabers below suddenly felt too loud.
“That’s all any of us can do,” Obi-wan gently replied. He looked out into the ring where the Padawans were sparring. “Every generation has its proving ground. I just hope theirs won't be a war.”
Anakin let out a breath, “maybe they’ll finish what we can’t.”
“Optimistic as ever,” Obi-wan said sarcastically.
“If we ever stop fighting, they’ll forget why they need to.” You said, your eyes following the Padawans who crossed sabers and the Knight calling for focus.
Anakin turned to you, his voice quiet. “You think there’s a point where we actually get to stop?”
You shrugged. “I think there has to be. Otherwise there is no point.”
He studied you for a bit, something unreadable in his eyes but you refused to make eye contact. “You sound like Obi-wan.”
“Tragic, isn’t it?” You managed a smile.
Obi-wan hummed, “there are worse fates.”
Rex looked between the three of you standing side by side again. He thought of Ahsoka. Her place missing. But for once, his expression eased. “Never thought I’d see you all in a room without an explosion waiting to happen.”
Anakin cracked a half grin, “give it time.”
It was then that Anakin’s commlink buzzed against his belt. He glanced down at it once, his smile gone and replaced with a deep frown.
“Who is it?” You asked, all attention to him.
Anakin looked up, realising everyone was waiting for an answer. “Uh– give me one second.” He then stepped away without another word.
You, Obi-wan and Rex watched him step away, his shoulders tense and his back turned. He then kept his voice low as possible when he answered. Whatever it was, it wasn’t routine because his posture shifted from surprise to focus to something else you couldn’t name.
Obi-wan watched him carefully, his expression clipped with curiosity. “That’s odd. He usually can’t resist taking calls on speaker.”
You folded your arms, watching him talk to his commlink. “Maybe it’s the Council?”
“I would have received it too,” Obi-wan stroked his beard.
Rex shook his head. “He sounds…worried.”
The three of you stood there in an uneasy triangle, pretending not to listen yet failing miserably. Anakin’s voice was only a murmur now, the kind of voice he used when something had gone personal. He was then pacing, one hand raking through his hair.
After a minute, he clipped his commlink to his belt and returned, his expression unreadable.
“I have to leave,” he said.
Obi-wan crossed his arms. “So suddenly?”
Anakin sighed, scratching the back of his head. “Orders,” he replied too quickly. Then hesitantly added, “it’s a Senate matter. Scipio.”
Obi-wan frowned. “The Banking Clan world? It sounds political.”
Anakin nodded once. His gaze flickered between the three of you before it settled on the floor. “Senator Amidala is involved.”
The name landed on you like a weight you had thought was gone. You kept your expression still, even as your pulse thudded.
Rex immediately sensing it might be a private matter stepped half a step back. “Should I give you privacy, sirs?”
“No,” you said quickly. “Stay.”
You didn’t have to say that, but you didn’t want anyone to think that maybe it would affect you. The flicker of discomfort in Anakin’s eyes told you everything he didn’t say.
Obi-wan glanced between the two of you, probably catching on more than you’d like him to.
“The Senator does seem to trust you, it makes sense.” He said to Anakin.
Anakin awkwardly laughed, “that’s one way to put it, but the Chancellor was the one to request me.”
You hummed, finding it odd that the Chancellor would personally request Anakin. “So you’ll be off-world for how long?” You tried to sound pragmatic.
“A few rotations. Maybe less.”
You nodded.
Obi-wan’s gaze flicked to you and back. “Perhaps you should look into joining the Senate rather than the Council, Anakin.” He joked, wanting to mask the tension.
Anakin dryly laughed, “I prefer fighting than politics.”
For a moment, none of you spoke. The hum of the Temple filled the void, the Padawans had even faded into the back. Anakin rubbed the back of his neck, the weight of the departure settling on him.
“I need to prep for take-off,” he said. “Need R2 to plot the cruise.”
Obi-wan bowed his head. “May the Force be with you.”
“May the Force be with you, Master.” He bowed to Obi-wan and then turned to look at Rex, doing the same. “Rex.”
Rex saluted him.
His eyes then flickered to you. “Walk with me?”
You hesitated, suddenly feeling the pressure but Rex nudged you to go. You followed Anakin who didn’t say anything until you were far enough from Obi-wan and Rex. The sound of your boots that echoed against the marble was the only sound that filled the void between you two.
He then finally spoke, his voice low. “She’s been arrested.”
You blinked. “What?”
He didn’t stop walking but now it was a much slower pace. “Padme. On Scipio. Something about the Banking Clan’s main vault being compromised and now she’s being accused of espionage.”
You frowned, “that—that doesn’t even sound like her.”
“It’s not,” he added quickly. “She was framed. I know it.”
Of course he did.
You looked away from him, exhaling through your nose. “And…the Council is fine with you running off to handle it personally?”
Anakin huffed out a dry laugh. “They don’t know about it yet. The Chancellor had requested it so I assume it’ll be fine.”
And there it was again. His reckless confidence.
“So you’re just… leaving?” You asked flatly.
“I have to. She called me herself. She doesn’t know who else to trust.”
You scoffed, not meaning to let the next words slip out. “And naturally, that’s you.”
He then paused in his step and turned to face you. There was a beat of silence as his eyes scanned you. The way you were frowning, how stiff your shoulders are and your arms clenched tightly against your chest.
“It’s…not what you think,” he said finally.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to,” he said in almost a defensive tone. “She’s in trouble. That’s all this is.”
You forced your voice to stay calm. “Right. Just another rescue.”
He sighed, taking a step closer. “Y/n, come on.”
“What?”
“You know me better than that.”
“Exactly,” you muttered. “I know her too.”
The air between you shifted into something thick and unspoken. The memory of the dinner with Padme began to resurface and you felt even more uncomfortable with the situation.
Anakin’s tone softened like he felt it. “It’s not about her.”
You scoffed, “you’re flying across half the galaxy for her.”
“Because she’s in danger,” he said. He ran a hand through his hair, half in frustration and half pleading. “If it were anyone else, I would do the same. You know that.”
“Yeah.”
He stepped closer to you. “You do.” His voice dropped.
Anakin exhaled slowly, watching your face. “I owe her. Not…not in the way that you might be thinking.”
“Then in what way?”
His gaze drifted down and when he answered it wasn’t defensive anymore, just honest. “Back when you and Ahsoka left….she helped me figure out what to do. She helped me look like I had it under control. The Council, the Chancellor— they trust me more because of her. If she’s fallen into something with the Banking Clan, I can’t let them tear her apart for it. That’s all that there is.”
You studied his face, unsure if his explanation eased anything or made it worse.
“Y/n,” he said again. “There’s no one else I’d rather be with than you right now.”
“Okay, Anakin.” You swallowed hard, trying to let it go but the uneasy feeling in your stomach stayed.
He stepped closer again and now you had to look up to look at him. This time his hand found your arm, fingers curling lightly around your sleeve. You still had your arms crossed but he didn’t try and uncross them, he just held on, his thumb tracing lines against your skin.
It was barely anything but it was so him. It was both an apology and reassurance.
“I wouldn’t be standing here trying to explain myself if I didn’t care about what you thought,” his voice had gone soft.
You didn’t answer but your shoulders loosened up enough that he felt it. He took it as permission for his hand to slip a little lower, his fingers resting against your wrist.
“I’m going because I have to,” he said, his eyes searching yours. Your breath caught and his thumb brushed your pulse like he was trying to memorise it.
“For what it’s worth,” he murmured, “If I could stay, I would.”
He didn’t move until finally you let one arm drop, your hand was in his just long enough for him to exhale. He drew lazy lines across your skin, something so small but said so much.
You sighed, “Fine. Just…go before I start arguing again.”
He then shot you a faint smirk. “You wouldn’t win.”
You breathed out a laugh and for a moment he just stood there, his hand still holding yours. His expression changed into something much softer than before and it made your chest tighten.
“I’ll make this quick, okay? You’ll barely notice I’m gone.”
“Liar,” you said, giving him a small smile.
He sadly smiled at you —knowing. “I’ll message you when I can.”
You nodded, “you’d better.”
He then let go of your hand, the ghost of his touch still lingering even after his hand dropped. “Try to sleep while I’m gone. You look like you haven’t.”
You rolled your eyes, “stop stalling.”
“Right.” His voice went low again. “See you soon, Y/n.”
“Good luck, Skywalker.” He started to back away but he was still watching you.
He then grinned faintly before turning towards the hangar doors. And just like that, he was gone.
The corridor felt quiet without him and you tried to ignore the way your hand was still tingling. You tried to not think about Scipio or the senator that was waiting for him there.
He never stayed long enough for the silence to settle.
------- -------- -------- -------
Anakin sat in his cruiser, fiddling with the holofeeds. Blue light traced his jaw and there was faint exhaustion around his eyes. He made sure to fully depart before focusing on the transmission. The hum of the cruiser filled in the silence behind him.
“Captain,” he said quietly.
Rex appeared on the other line, still in partial armour and standing in a dim corridor.
“General.”
Anakin nodded once, “you still at the Temple?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Good.” He hesitated, glancing aside at R2 who most definitely was listening in. “Listen, this isn’t–” he stopped himself, exhaled, and then started again. “I need you to keep an eye on the Commander for me.”
Rex lifted his brow slightly. “Y/n?”
Anakin’s mouth hung open for a moment like he regretted even speaking but he pushed through it anyways. “Yeah. She uh…I told her to take the day off, but—” he gave a humourless laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, “-we both know how she is.”
Rex’s tone softened, admiring the way Anakin was expressing his fondness under formality. “She doesn’t really take a break, sir.”
“Exactly.” Anakin shifted. “Make sure she eats something…And maybe get her out of the Temple for a while. Somewhere where she doesn’t have to think.”
“Of course, General.” He tried to not smile.
Anakin nodded, the lines of his face softening. “Good.” He leaned back in his chair. “And…if she asks, it wasn’t my idea.”
“Wouldn’t dream of mentioning it.”
Anakin inhaled then gave him a tired smile. “Thanks, Rex. I owe you.”
“Always, sir.”
The holo flickered once before it cut into static and disappeared.
------ ------ ------- -------
The day bled into the evening. You tried to meditate, wanting to gather your thoughts and feel the Force go quiet but it never worked. You were just constantly reminded of both Fives and Anakin.
Your quarters were neat again. You cleaned it twice, reorganised files and folded your clothes. Anything to fill the silence. The Coruscant skyline was an amber haze, the evening settling in. Thousands of ships flew by.
You say by the window, the floor hummed with the city traffic. The Temple didn’t feel like a sanctuary, just walls.
The commlink on your desk blinked once. You ignored it for a few seconds before getting up to pick it up.
“Evening, Commander.” Rex’s voice was calm and familiar.
“Rex,” you said, surprised at how composed your voice sounded. “You’re working late.”
“Keeping the men busy keeps them out of trouble,” he replied back. There was chatter in the background, some clangs of armour too. “Thought I’d check in before the shift change.”
You smiled faintly at this, “that’s kind of you,” you said. “Not a lot of people do that anymore.”
“You’d be surprised who does,” he said, not elaborating.
You nodded although you knew he couldn’t see it. You looked out the window, bringing your knees up to your chest. “How are the boys?”
“Better. Not good. But better.” He said. “Jesse’s been running drills but everyone seems tired.”
“And you?” A hint of a smile tugged at your lips.
“Still not tired, ma’am.”
You knew this was a lie through his unshakable posture and discipline. “Get some rest when you can. That’s an order.”
He chuckled quietly. “Yes, Commander.”
The conversation then drifted after that. You both talked about nothing — new batch of recruits, upcoming missions, the war. It wasn’t only about content, but rather the company of a voice that didn’t ask you to be anything but here.
At one point you heard him shift, maybe sitting down. “You eaten?”
You hesitated, your hand brought up to your mouth, rubbing your lips. “...Working on it.”
“Does that mean no?”
“Maybe.”
Rex sighed. “You know there’s a reason why the mess keeps extra rations stocked,” he lectured you as if he was your father.
“Rex, please don’t lecture me about dinner.”
“Of course, Commander,” he said. “They did just upgrade the flavour cartridges.”
You laughed quietly, “I’ll keep it in mind.”
There was a brief pause and you heard movement of muffled soldiers in the back. Then Rex said, almost too casually, “You could always join us later if you’re restless. The men like seeing their Commander when she’s not giving advice.”
“Maybe,” you said, earning a real smile.
“Think about it,” he replied, his voice laced with tiny intent. “The boys are going to 79’s later.”
You hummed, “I don’t know…”
“You’ll be with me if you’re worried.” He reassured you.
“Alright, we’ll see.”
The call ended soon after, your room felt less empty than it did before. You stared out at the skyline again. It looked more alive now.
Anakin was far gone and you couldn't help but already miss his presence.
----- ---- ----- ----- ------
Coruscant’s lower levels always smelled different after rain. The ion exhaust and metal dust always made you feel nauseous, even the fried street food didn’t make you hungry.
The sign for 79’s flickered against the wet pavement, the neon 9 was half burnt out. You paused under it, tugging your jacket closer.
It wasn’t a Temple jacket but you did have your tag stitched onto it. It was a loose dark blue thing you had picked up. You’d thrown it over a black shirt and told yourself to relax, wanting to look civilian enough to blend in.
When the door slid open, you were immediately hit with a wave of sound —music, chatter, clinking glasses— you felt the difference immediately from the quiet of the Jedi Temple.
The room was a haze of dim lights and clone armour glinted under the lamps. Men already half filled the bar and on the side a band of Biths played something upbeat that couldn’t drown the undertone of grief in the air. You hadn’t been in a bar like this since your 1 year celebration with Dev.
Rex was the first person you spotted. He was half turned towards the door like he had expected you to come. He wore no helmet tonight, just the crisp cut of blond hair paired with himself. Jesse and Kix were with him, both a drink or two ahead.
Jesse grinned when he saw you. “Look who finally decided to join us!”
Kix gave a low whistle, “Well, well. Didn’t think Commanders were allowed to look normal.”
You rolled your eyes as you walked over to them. “This is normal.”
Jesse snorted, “not by Temple standards. The Council would issue a statement.”
“Good thing I’m not on the Council.”
Rex stood to pull a chair for you at the bar, a courtesy that felt grounding. “Evening, Commander.”
“Evening, Captain,” you sat, brushing off the drops of rain on your sleeves. “You guys look up all right.”
Kix raised his glass, “We’ve had practise.”
The table was crowded with 501st men mostly however there were a few orange-striped pauldrons among them. 212th troopers. Few of the lifted their glasses in greeting once they saw you. Boil even gave a friendly nod before returning to his conversation.
However, Fives name still hung in the air even when no one said it.
A Twi’lek server drifted over to you, her lekku wrapped in a scarf and her lashes curled. “What’ll it be, love?”
“Water’s fine,” you automatically said.
“Come on, Commander.” Jesse groaned. “That’s illegal in here.”
“I-”
“Bring her a–” Kix waved the Twi’lek back, before turning to you. “Beer? Correlian spritz?”
“Fine,” you sighed. “Just something mild.”
“Make it two,” Jesse said.
The Twi’lek winked before she disappeared under the bar table, grabbing out glasses. You leaned back as you took a slow look around. There was every flavour of the galaxy in the bar. Rodian smugglers in jackets, a Mirialan drinking something green, two humans arguing politics. The beat vibrated in your chest as you waited for your drink.
“Never feels normal, does it?” You murmured.
“What’s that?” Rex asked, not hearing you the first time.
“Feels weird seeing so many different people in one place,” you said. “It’s like the war’s not real.”
He followed your gaze, his expression unreadable. “Maybe that’s how they survive it.”
Your hands drummed lightly against the table, nodding as you watched the people drink. “Maybe.”
Your drink arrived in a tall glass that was faintly the colour pink with a smell of fruit and metal. Cautiously, you brought it up to your lips and sipped before immediately coughing. “That's sweet.”
Kix laughed, “Must be their version of mild.”
Once Jesse noticed your drink had arrived, he then raised his own. “To Fives,” he said both quietly and loudly.
The table echoed his toast. You lifted your own glass up, “To Fives.”
The first sip burned less after that.
As time passed, more laughter blended in with the music. You found yourself talking about anything but the war. Some tried to teach a Rodian civilian the lyrics to an old clone marching song while others had debates over trivial matters. It was both loud and messy that you had forgotten which planet you were on.
Rex didn’t talk much. A few times you had witnessed him glance your way but you had just shrugged it off as a protectiveness. He knew you don’t frequent these ends so it is only natural he would feel that sort of responsibility.
At one point he had nudged a plate towards you. “Eat.”
You frowned down as you looked at the synth meat burger. “I’m fine,” you waved him off.
“You skipped dinner.”
“Rex-”
“Commander.” He said sternly.
You sighed, peeling back the wrapper and taking a bite. It felt both greasy and salt heavy, something you didn’t know you needed.
“Happy?” You said, though you were really the happy one.
“Getting there,” Rex said.
You smiled around the mouthful. “You know you sound like—” you cut yourself. Maybe it was the drink that was getting to you.
Rex caught the pause and didn’t press. He nodded before turning his attention back to his own drink.
The hours melted together and somehow the 501st and 212th and merged into one sprawling argument that spanned three tables. Maybe their closeness is from their Generals.
Boil leaned over to Jesse. “Didn’t think your Commander mingled with us ground rats.”
“She’s braver than you lot,” Jesse shot back.
Boil raised an eyebrow. “No sane person volunteers to sit with 501st”
The table broke into laughter as the 212th clinked their glasses together.
“Speaking of,” Boil says, “Kenobi still walks like he’s got a stick up his–”
“Watch it,” Rex warned.
You felt yourself faintly flush as you heard them speak unfiltered, something you would never hear in the Temple.
Boil grinned, “I said walks like. Didn’t say he does.”
Jesse smirked. “He’s probably meditating right now,” he began to slur his words. “He could be on fire and correct your posture.”
“That’s rich coming from someone under Skywalker,” he slammed his mug on the table, drops of beer flying. “Your General’s the reason why we can’t have nice ships.”
Kix groaned, “he’s crashed one time–”
“-Three,” Rex said without looking up.
“Two and a half!” Jesse piped, before taking a big drink out of his cup.
You laughed as you brought your own closer, “Four if you count the hangar.”
Boil then nudged one of the 212th troopers who had his hand on his stomach, “See even she agrees the 501st are a flight risk,” to which he snorted.
You tried to not smile but failed horribly. “You boys are so brave saying that when he’s not here.”
Kix leaned in, “what happens in 79’s stays in 79’s.”
“So does that apply with his Padawan too?” Jesse asked, grinning. “That little Togruta is sharper than any blade I’ve seen.”
“Ahsoka?” Rex perked up. “She’d wipe the floor with half of you.”
“Half?” You said. “All. She learned from the best.”
Kix passed his empty but to the Twi’lek hoping to get a refill before looking back at you. “Skywalker or you?”
“Steady yourself, soldier.” You said, half offended and joking.
The table erupted in laughter, even Rex’s face cracked into a grin.
That’s when the Twi’lek server appeared again, carrying a tray of blue shot glasses and Kix’s drink. She set one down in front of you with a knowing smile.
“Courtesy of the blue-eyed one,” she said.
You froze. “Sorry, what?”
She shrugged, “tall guy. Pretty face. Said it’s the one for the Commander.” She then winked before leaving.
The table went quiet as they eyed the shots.
Kix coughed into his new drink, trying to hide his grin. “Wow, Commander.”
You forced out a small laugh, feeling heat rise up to your cheeks, hating the way your soldiers were witnessing you getting hit on. “He must be confusing me with someone else.”
“Sure he is,” Jesse said with a sly smile.
“You shouldn’t touch that,” Rex picked up one of the glasses and studied it under the dim light.
You picked up one of the shot glasses and inspected it before putting it back down.
“He probably saw the rank tag on my jacket and thought he’d impress a Commander.” You then carefully pushed them all to the middle of the table, “If I drink it, I’m endorsing it.”
“More for us!” One of the 212th soldiers picked up the shot, his orange hair flying.
A few of the boys began to drink the shots as the night began to soften. Some started a story about Fives and Tup. An air of melancholy had surrounded you.
At some point Jesse nudged you. “So… mysterious blue-eyed man aside, if a certain other blue-eyed someone walked in right now, what would you do?” He asked, the liquor definitely getting to him if he was comfortable enough to ask me that.
“Finish my drink,” you snorted.
“Liar!” He exclaimed. “You’d stand up so fast you’d knock the table.”
“You would probably knock it first just to see the drama,” you countered.
Kix leaned in, the smell of booze clinging to his body. “What’s he even doing now? Sitting on some Senate balcony pretending he’s not miserable without you?”
You rolled your eyes, leaning back into your chair. “He’s fine.”
Boil leaned over the table, his eyes half-lidded. “You miss him.”
“You’re drunk.” You scoffed. “You boys talk more about Skywalker than anyone does.” You took another sip of your drink.
Kix leaned, “Cause’ he’s the only thing that gets you flustered, Y/n.”
Your jaw dropped and you choked a little. Both at the accusation and your soldier calling you by your name. “I do not.”
“Sure,” Jesse dragged the word out. “You’re red.”
“From the drink.”
“Admit it,” Jesse teased. “You got it bad.”
Rex shook his head, “Leave her alone. You’re going to start rumours.” He tried not to smile.
“Please, the rumours started themselves since she came back all mad at him.” Jesse started.
“It was the General who was mad,” Kix corrected him.
They broke down laughing as you sat there with your face beat red. You hadn’t realised how attentive the soldiers were. It only made sense since they knew you both personally and Anakin makes no effort in hiding his feelings.
Boil chuckled, “Come on, Commander. You have to admit it’s funny. The Jedi General runs off to play hero with a senator and his second-in-command sitting in 79’s pretending to not care.”
You bit the inside of your lip, suddenly feeling like maybe 79’s wasn’t the place to be. You froze for a fraction too long and Jesse caught it immediately. “See? That. That right there. The blink. She cares.”
“I blinked because you guys are all annoying,” you tried to play it cool, ignoring this weird feeling you suddenly gained.
“Sure,” Jesse leaned back in his chair. “Keep telling yourself that. No wonder he told us to drag you out tonight,” he slurred in his seat.
It took you a few seconds to process what he said.
Rex’s head snapped towards him so fast. “Jesse.”
“What?” He blinked, realising it was too late. “I mean— he didn’t say drag,” he scratched the back of his head. “He just –uh–suggested—”
“Jesse,” Rex repeated again, warning him.
“What do you mean?” Your brows lifted.
His grin faltered and his eyes back to look anywhere but you. “He just said you’ve been working too hard. Needed to…y’know, take a break. Morale and all that.”
Kix buried his face into his hands and audibly groaned out loud.
You leaned forward and forced a smile as you looked at Rex who wasn’t meeting your gaze.
“Rex?”
“He might’ve mentioned it. Briefly.”
“Might’ve?”
You fought the urge to laugh because the whole situation was ridiculous and you really didn’t know if you should be both flattered that Anakin cared this much about you or embarrassed that he needed his soldiers to babysit you.
“So let me get this straight,” your fingers tapped against the rim of your glass. “He couldn’t just call me himself— he had to send out half his battalion?”
“Not send,” Jesse said quickly, wanting to recover. “Deploy.”
You genuinely laughed at this and rolled your eyes. “You are all unbelievable.”
Kix’s smile returned as he felt the slightest relief when he heard you laugh. “He just said to make sure you’re not sitting alone in your quarters staring at reports.”
You faintly smiled at this. It was a line that sounded exactly like what Anakin would say. He would say it when you were working too hard and for too long, his eyebrows creasing and his arms crossed.
Rex finally spoke again, “He just didn’t want you alone tonight, Commander. That’s all.”
“Right,” you tried to sound casual but you did hear the crack in your own voice.
Rex caught your eye. A quiet knowing look again. And to make it worse, you caught the faintest hint of sympathy behind it.
Because he knew how you felt the moment that Anakin had walked away to answer the call.
And the worst part was that none of the Clones were ignorant to the situation either.
Jesse snorted in his drink as he recalled over how dumb of a slip up he just had.
“Alright,” Rex waved his hand, his tone half-warning. “That’s enough. Leave the Commander alone before you dig your own graves.”
“Sure,” Kix raised his mug.
Some cheered, their laughter spilling over before everyone continued in their own conversations. You’d lost count of how long you had been there but it was long enough that you felt your voice go hoarse.
You had managed to shake off that feeling, passing it off that Anakin was just being sweet in maybe the worst way possible by getting others involved. Nonetheless, you did enjoy your time with the boys.
Rex was the first to stand. “Alright. Time to move before Jesse starts singing.”
Jesse mumbled something incoherent, too drunk to argue back. Kix stood up and pulled him upright, not nearly as drunk as he was.
You shrugged your jacket on. “Captain’s right. Need to go before I throw up.”
“Stars forbid,” Kix muttered.
Rex waited until you were steady as you walked towards the door. The air outside was cold and wetter than the heat of the bar.
You had just walked out under the flickering lights when someone called out —”Hey, Commander.”
You turned around and faced a man you hadn’t noticed before. He was about your age with dark hair and a few days worth of stubble across his jaw. It was incredibly hard to miss his sharp ice-blue eyes.
“Didn’t manage to give you this,” he said, holding out a slim contact chip with a short contact code encoded in blue light. It flickered faintly between his fingers and you blinked looking down at it.
“What’s that?”
“Frequency code,” he said with a lopsided grin. “If you ever want a night out without clones breathing down your neck.
Rex who was watching this all happen cleared his throat — loudly.
You exhaled through your nose, wanting to refuse but the man looked so hopeful as he stared at you. You gave him a tight smile and took it from him, careful to not touch him. “Right. Thanks.”
He seemed satisfied, giving you both a lazy and drunken salute before turning away.
You stood there for half a second, wanting to both throw it away and not making a scene, so you quietly slipped it in your pocket just hoping the moment would end. “Good timing,” you muttered, as you started to walk again.
Kix grinned, holding up Jesse. “At least he shot his shot,” he said, to which you rolled your eyes.
Rex gave you a long side-look. “Uh-huh.” But you turned away from him before he could see your face.
“Relax, Captain. It’s just a frequency code.”
“Just a frequency,” he echoed, a smile on his face. “You gonna tell Skywalker that too?”
You glared at him, your cheeks burning red. You then fell into a quiet silence.
“Thanks for coming,” Rex quietly said. “They needed it. You did too.”
You smiled faintly. “Thank you, Rex.”
“Get some rest, Commander.”
Your wrist buzzed as you walked away from him. You glanced down, unsure of what to expect but the name made your stomach flip.
Secure Direct Comm Link
[02:13] Anakin Skywalker: Still awake?
You bit down a smile, your thumb hovering over the reply icon.
[02:14] Y/n L/n: Barely. You?
The silence stretched as you stood out in the cold. The rain had long passed but the pavement wasn’t getting any drier.
The reply then came.
[02:16] Anakin Skywalker: Long night
[02:17] Anakin Skywalker: Political mess
[02:17] Anakin Skywalker: You’d hate it.
You could almost hear the dry tone in your head.
[02:18] Y/n L/n: Sounds fun
[02:18] Y/n L/n: You need to tell me later
There was another beat. You stared at the blue glow of your screen, hating the way you were smiling down at the device you used when you’re commanding.
[02:20] Anakin Skywalker: You’d fall asleep halfway through it
You exhaled out a laugh and turned your commlink off. You would listen to anything he would say, even if it bore you.
You stood in the city glow with a stupid grin you couldn’t get rid of.
Somewhere out there, Anakin was planets away. Yet he still managed to pull the strings of your day, softly, invisibly.
a/n: omg a fast update guys???? who even am iiiiii
guys i acc hope u liked this chapter cuz im so unsure about how i feel.... like i feel like its too much anakin but then not enough anakin like i REALLY dont know how to feel about it so plz tell me also i wonder if anyone thinks about dev like I CONSTANTLY think about dev and im thinking about the senate dinner and then the dinner with padme and then when yn got hurt and the hospital LIKE IM ALWAYSSD THINKING ABOUT THATTT
if u are no longer interested in the story and want to be removed message me privately or comment or send an ask and i wont post it or anything and there is no shame at all !!!!
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