#analysis of life

[madamgoodparty]

"Boys only want love if it's torture" - quick little blog post

So, I’ve been quite obsessed with “Blank Space” and the whole of “1989” by Taylor Swift recently. And these lyrics got me thinking about a friend of mine.

He thinks he’s in love with a girl, let’s call her Sarah, he was talking to a couple of years ago, then apparently, she had an accident involving a horse and she was fine but she forgot she was talking to him.

She’s clearly moved on and isn’t interested in him like she was/may have been two years ago. Sarah now isn’t the same Sarah she was two years ago. Yet, my friend continues to torture himself with what could’ve been and the idea of her rather than Sarah herself and what she wants.

So, from what I can observe, some boys do only want love if it’s torture.

This is purely a ramble produced in my own head, I do not in any way intend to be rude about my friend's feelings, these are just my thoughts and opinions.

[liefly]

After much consideration, I can't help but admit that I feel like a consolation prize.

I've been thinking a lot about my life lately, considering things for more than just their face value. One of the things I've been thinking especially hard about is The Guy.

I find it funny that we've ended up where we have. If I were to think about to two years ago, when he was in a few of my classes, and someone was to ask me how I felt about him, I would reply with an dramatized imitation of vomiting.

What changed? What in life altered so that, suddenly, we're fond of each other? Talking with him, he admitted that last year he went through a lot of changes, and he's definitely a different person than he was two years ago (when he use to make fun of me with his friends and be an overall douche to me).

And as much as I try to use his explanation to justify our circumstance, there remains a voice in the back of my head, which whispers to me that he doesn't legitimately like me. Heck, he'd probably be fond of any girl that had been willing to rant with him about AP Statistics. But it just so happened to be me. It happened that I was the girl that gave him an outlet.

Not only am I unsettled by that glaring fact, but also the one of his "best friend." Him and her have been good friends since two years ago. When I had classes with them years ago, I use to always think They'll end up together. Because quite honestly, they're perfect for each other.

They are the guy and girl friends in all the cliche movies. The girl has a boyfriend, the guy is alone. The guy obviously is in love with the girl, but because she "doesn't feel the same," he goes off and forces himself to be infatuated with some other poor girl. Though by the end of the movie, the guy and the girl both throw aside their relationships, dramatically kiss, and they live happily ever after.

I am that poor girl. I am the girl that he's using to get by until that miraculous moment when she opens her eyes and sees that he's completely and utterly in love with her.

And I'm the consolation prize.