#anardorei

[riessestarsinger]

Bouncing Librarians

The second Anadorei saw Lady Amariesse she bounded over to her and hugged Lady Amariesse tightly.  "Oh Lady Amariesse!  So much has happened!"  Anardorei was smiling as she let go of Riesse but her smile was strained.  "After the second bomb the living skeleton....um...Keilos is his name I think...came back and handed me a sealed letter.  He said," Anardorei dropped her voice and tried to sound like the undead, her attempt at mimicry was rather pitiful but it still caused her to shiver slightly. "Do not open that, do NOT let anybody open that. The letter is on blighted paper!  Let her know about this too."

Anardorei's voice returned to normal.  "He said the letter had been sent to him and that he could smell the blighted paper through the envelope. He said it would affect the first person to touch it so I was to make sure nobody opened it.  He said that this was a new issue.  Then he left me holding the envelope!  He did say he didn't think it could contaminate anything as long as the envelope stayed sealed but I was still scared, he couldn't tell me what the blighted paper would do but he made it sound scary!  Magister Eroseidir came and told me to put the letter on the table, I did and I put my gloves with it for good measure.  He froze everything in a block of ice and then took it away.  Why is all this happening?  Keilos made it sound like Lady Ama could have prevented it, like she can stop it.  We aren't to accept any packages or letters now."  During her recounting of the story tears began to brim in Ana's eyes as she finished she threw her arms around Lady Amariesse one more time. She was trembling slightly.

Anardorei took a deep breath and the trembling stopped, when she let go of Lady Amariesse and stepped back she was wearing a big smile and the signs of forming tears were gone.  Her tone sounded lighter although a bit surreal.  "Well, I'm glad you are safe.  Good Morning Lady Amariesse!"  She even bobbed a single bounce as she said it.

Riesse blinked, wondering of Ana ever took a breath at all. She made a mental note to have all sugar removed from Ana's diet. "Just so you know, Keilos refers to me as Lady Ama. He's not referring to Amannette, my daughter. Several of my old friends do."

Taking a step back after being hugged and hugging in return, Riesse turned slowly and began to pace, considering all Ana had told her. "...not to accept any letters or packages....we'll see about that." 

"Thank you, Ana. I'll be in my office." Riesse stepped to the table, delicate fingers picked up a bit of cheese. Tossing it into the air, her head tilted gracefully back, the cheese fell into her mouth. Smirking, her tongue tasted of the tangy goodness. 

[acaliniaembershade]

(Snippet)

The air was very cold. Every breath I took froze my lungs momentarily and caused my lungs to shriek in pain.. but I was on a mission. I would not stop because of something as trivial as lung pain. "Mister Bancroft!" My lungs sent a new twang of pain through my abdomen as I shouted from the back of my Frostwyrm. The frail man was puttering through the remains of Stormglen, observing its very few patrons with a warm gaze. Thankfully the old man had become accustomed to the behemoth of a dead Dragon landing in his backyard. "Ah, Acalinia.. is everything all right, child?" As I slid from the Wyrm's back, I smiled gently, "Child? I'm old enough to be your great-great-grandmother! I have something to ask you about." Mister Bancroft smiled in return and led me to his modest home. He owned the entirety of the town of Stormglen, and was the man I had bought my home from. A good neighbour and simply lovely man.. the day he passes will be one of the saddest I have endured. "What is it that you want to ask, Acalinia? Isn't it enough that you asked for the best house I owned!?" He laughed boisterously and in a joking fashion, to which I replied with my own chuckling. "I gave you more than enough gold for it, Bancroft, don't test me. No, this was about something far smaller.. I know your cat recently had a litter of kittens.--" As if on queue, mama cat flopped down onto the floor beneath Mister Bancroft's chair; he reached down to pet her. "Would you care for one?" He asked with a knowing smile. "I would, yes.. though it is for a friend of mine. I think she needs a companion of sorts." The old man stood from his chair and led me into the back room; a large blanket held four sleeping kittens whom were just shy of two months old. I squealed, "They are so cute!" Bancroft laughed at me and squeezed my wrist. "Take whichever one you'd like. There should be a small crate around here that you can transport him in."

[acaliniaembershade]

'Your heart is black; something twisted and ugly. But I am just as ugly as you are.' He smirked at me. Grinned like he thought he'd won some kind of petty game with my family, with me. Oh no, no, no.. see, that's not how this works, An'ren. I may not blame you for the damage caused to my face, but I most certainly blame you for the threats you threw at my sister; the silver-tongued words as I wrenched your hair back; and the arrogance you displayed even after your pretty little face hit that wall.

This isn't even -close- to being over yet. For every hateful word you caused Amariesse to utter; for every feeble attempt at protection Ana foolishly threw out; for every furrowed brow Rook gave in your presence, that will be another scream to pass your lips. I will make you beg for mercy and writhe in agony. I will make you tremble in fear as I come in to view. No? You don't think I can muster it?

I'm a cannibal, darling. I have seen far uglier things than you.

--But no, that's not all this is, is it? Perhaps -I- am the real fool here. No, I'm positive I'm the fool. I had nowhere else to go! My home is unliveable, I will not return to the Registry and I cannot sleep in Silvermoon's gutter without a few more needles. So of course I went to your Keep. Could you possibly preen anymore than I watched you? It was nearly enough to make me vomit.  We have a problem though, don't we? To me, and me alone, I find you fascinating and beautiful. In the presence of others, you are arrogant and putrid.

I sincerely hope you can transcend your short-comings, or never again will our lips meet. That was something I quite enjoyed.  

[acaliniaembershade]

A Poem From Anardorei.

A folded piece of parchment jutted from betwixt the scrolls given to me by Ao, the Pandaren whom frequented the Registry. I didn't put that there.. Angrily, I stormed over to the corner where all my belongings were kept, pulled the note out of the scrolls and opened it with a furrowed brow. My heart twisted as I recognized the writing.

Adrift upon a sea of doubt, anger turned inside out. Feet are planted on firm ground, yet void, dark space swirls around. Within the vortex sits alone, emotions locked inside a stone. Friends cry out and gather near, but cannot pass betrayal's fear. Try to reach through to the centre, pushed away like flakes of winter. Worlds apart yet still close by, eyes may tear but souls will cry.

I.. don't know how to feel about this. If Ana ever writes you something, it has more purpose than you can imagine. 

I'll think about it tomorrow.

[acaliniaembershade]

Honesty and Fear.

Soundless tears came to roll down my scarred cheeks without release as I poured over the letter written to me by sweet Anardorei. That sweet, lovely girl. The harbouring of such a malicious affliction caused her to leave us here at the Registry; her location remains undisclosed. I wish for nothing more than for her to reveal this to me so I could bring her back to us, cradled to my chest and without worry.

You say you see a light in me, Ana. If that is truly the case, let me bring you home. Give me entrance into your affliction so I may begin to cleanse it from your mind, even if it means taking it on myself.

You do not need to suffer in silence, no one should have to. 

That’s another thing I have learned, Ana. You do not need to carry this on your own.

Let those who care so deeply about you relieve some of the burden you must undergo. We are not enemies, but friends.

With my head leaned back against the sharp back of a Tirisfal Pine, I let my eyes close gently -a vain attempt to quell the tears- but they kept coming. With my eyes restored in full, I could cry again. For years I have not had such a priviledge, and now I suppose it’s just making up for lost time. Everyday I find myself wiping my cheeks, only to stare down at my damp gloves in anger. Anger that I had become so weak.

Or was it true strength that I had attained?

It took true courage -or wild stupidity- to do what I have done today. Finally coming to terms with my addiction and telling Amariesse what I have done, and what I am. There was a faint curiosity in her eyes, not of disgust, but perhaps.. perhaps she wondered just what would drive a person to feed on the flesh of their brethren. 

It is finally time that I see this through and snuff out the bloodlust in my heart. It is messy; unclean. It fills me to the brim with fear and I am so sick and fucking tired of being afraid.

What’s sickening is that I am not afraid of others. 

I was not afraid of Aeregorn when he raised his voice to me and spit hot truth into my face.

I was not afraid of the pirates that surrounded the ship Ameriya was contained on.

I was not afraid afraid when I observed Rook slaughter man after man in his desperate attempt for revenge. 

No, these are not things to fear.

What I was afraid of however, was teliing Amariesse the truth. 

Telling Aeregorn that he and I would never be.

Fear is taking a token of another’s love and placing it in the hand of a man, your eyes full of adoration and wonder, and closing his fingers around it. Praying that he will accept it; that he will not find it comical or pathetic. That is fear. 

But that is not clear.. courage led me to do that, not fear. The fear was knowing that in that moment either he knew or he didn’t.

That your feelings ran true, or were now lost. 

I am afraid of myself. Of what I have done, what I will so, and those I will hurt.

With my head tilted down, a smattering of tears soaked the palm of my right glove. Fresh tears.

“Is this.. empathy?”

In an instant I was on my feet, fists clenched and damp eyes set on the snowy moon overhead. 

Strength is not measured by the number of lives you have ruined, or the lives you have taken from this world. Strength is not your bodycount or the notches in your headboard. 

Strength is measured through each life you have brought to fruition; your ability to overcome each hindrance you are faced with.

Strength is the ability to pick yourself from the mud and bring yourself to your feet each time you have been tossed to the wayside. 

Repeat after me: ‘I will not break.’

[acaliniaembershade]

(Snippet)

We only had a few hours before a meeting with First’s possible kidnapper. This would, could, be messy.. not as messy as the beautiful Elven woman at my feet, however. “I just needed a little taste, dearie.. a taste before I have to head out.” I kneel and scoop her head up to rest in my lap, petting her hair quietly and looked down at that unmarred face. “It was just convenient, love, and I know I shouldn’t have.. but you want me to keep my strength up, right? This is important!” I shook her head, waiting for an answer, but of course none would come. “Tell me I’m doing the right thing. That this is what I should be doing..— I need to protect Riesse and Rook! They saved me and loved me when no one else would!” I scowled down at her and stood, her lifeless head falling to the ground with a dull thud.

" Why should I do that? Their lives are worth so much more than mine.. they are good people, you bitch!" The steel toe of my boot connected with her head, putting a large dent into the skull. There was no answer. I shouted. “I am nothing compared to them! I need to do good by these people.. why can’t you see that?!” Stepping over her corpse, I wiped the blood from my face and stumbled around the plot absently, my head feeling like it was crammed full of down feathers; my tongue felt too big for my mouth.

"You’ve never believed in me! That’s why I had to -go- to them! I will never let anything bad happen to Riesse, or Rook, or Ana.. none of them!" The revolver was slid from my greaves and I haphazardly fired three bullets into the direction of her body. One hit with a sickening crack and a slight explosion, the bullet entering and exiting through the skull. ” Not so pretty anymore, are ya?! No man will ever want you now!” As I stepped over her mangled frame, I spit down into her empty skull then ran for the City.

[acaliniaembershade]

(Snippet)

They're invading my life.. I don't want them in my head again. You must not anger our Masters for they are relentless and cruel.. purge your soul, Ana. Repent.

[acaliniaembershade]

Selfish.

The weight of others is begin to close in on me like a building collapse. It's not their animosity anymore, not their hate.  It's love, confidence, and trust. An intruder entered the Registry last night with the attempt to harm our Ana and no one was about to let that happen, least of all me. That angry, feverish buzzing filled my ears and it suddenly felt as if everything were moving sluggishly. There was hardly any voice that broke through this invisible wall; my only instinct was to permanently eliminate this intruder in the quickest was possible. I hardly felt it; I didn't necessarily know what I was doing when I pulled the concealed firearm from my greaves and levelled it with the man's head. "One." I couldn't hear myself speak. Then this bumbling, incoherent Shu'halo put himself in between the barrel of my gun and the body of the man.  "Shut your ill-bred mouth before I turn this on you, fodder." That didn't sound like me.. but it was me. The bottled anger inside was starting to flow over again.  "-Ace-." That was Aeregorn.. he came through sharper than the others. "Rook, move him!" In those sluggish movements, I think I saw Rook panic just for a moment; I was not helping the situation and I didn't care. The intruder must be eliminated by any means necessary. "Two." Rook and Aeregorn were blowing steam at this man, empty goddamn threats. Was what I was doing wrong? There was no three. The second that I pulled that trigger, Ana grabbed my arm and forced it toward the ground; the bullet lodged itself there in a smoking heap. I couldn't be mad at Ana, I never could be. Again, with these sluggish movements, I hurled my firearm into the corner of the room and lunged over the table to tackle this intruder to the ground. 

I don't remember anything from the few minutes afterward. Then Rook and I were standing outside, his hand outstretched and beckoning for the gun.  "It's inside." "What were you thinking exactly? Protecting Ana by threatening an innocent? What if you had missed?" What had I done wrong?

"You're someone I trust. I don't just abandon people like you."

The static in my mind shut down, Rook's voice careening through like a proverbial Lance of Longinus. Why would he trust me? Why -should- he trust me? The moment was abandoned as Aeregorn shouted from the doorstep before falling to the ground in a crumpled heap. "Aere!" The static was back and I wanted nothing more than for it to disappear.  It was poison. This intruder not only threatened Ana but he poisoned my family. Rook attempted to expunge the toxins but it was no good. That was a Warlock in here.. and foul magick requires fouler magick. Movements were now sharp, but voices were dulled. I threw off my gloves and thrust the right into Aeregorn's tunic, covering the wound entirely with my hand while holding the left up to Rook, "Cut this hand open. Now." He did it without question.. fouler magick requires sacrifice to do any good. Shadows lunged into Aere's wound, physically gripping at the seeping poison and pulling it back to the surface. Suddenly, there was no one else around. Rook's worried, anxiety-ridden eyes and Ana's silent screaming had disappeared from this scene all together. I could only stare at Aeregorn's lifeless features and pray to my heathenous  deities that this worked. A thick, coagulated substance slowly filled my working palm and I struggled to stay upright.. then as Aeregorn shot up, I fell down.

Rook had said that he trusted me. Trust.. He doesn't know me. Ana's guilt-ridden eyes pleaded with Aeregorn and I, like she wanted us to forgive her. I always would.  And even though he had just returned from the brink of death, Aeregorn made it his own duty to take care of me after Ana had laid me down. I was fine. Only tired.. why wasn't Aere resting? He was the one injured.

I am not important. I never will be important. Stop paying attention to me and take care of the others. Their lives matter more. I wanted to scream but I couldn't.  I cannot tell whether these people and their niceties merely want something from me, or are true in their words.

Me, me, me. Can I not think about anyone but myself? What about Ana, with this stalker. How scared she must be. She can't scream to bring others to her. Or Aeregorn, who's fiancé nearly died, only to tell him that he has a child on the way. Rook who is so worried about his sister and everyone else around him that he has no more time to think, only act.  What about Amariesse, whos's friend, First, has been kidnapped.. we have literally no leads on where to find her.

I am a selfish bitch and I always have been. I just want to fade away.