Feb 12, 2021
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#grief is so#horrible#and destabilizing#and omnipresent#i had a good day yesterday then came home felt sick made myself throw up#and then had a weird grief thought about my dad#and cried hysterically for an hour and couldn’t make myself stop#i feel asleep at some point#woke up and cried more#tried to rally for a bit#then lost it and cried and more and called my brother which helped a bit#but now i’m just laying in bed and crying more#i haven’t cried like that in so long#like heaving sobs#i was scary myself cause i couldn’t regulate anything#like all emotions exist on the same level#so happy to heartbreak is a small side step not a big jump down