2001 ─── ⋆. 𐙚 ˚
𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚 𓎢𓎟𓎡 honey, what you running’ from?
yangjungwon x fem. reader
🎧 - 2001, FINNEAS
word count: 2.5k ⊹ fluff ⊹ jungwon being so down bad ⊹ comfort ⊹ reader is oblivious as hell ⊹ lowercase intended ⊹
a/n : i’m so down bad for him it’s not funny anymore. this is semi-proof read? dm me if there are any mistakes!
yang jungwon was always meant to be loved.
in the way that he held every door for every stranger who walked by, or in the tulips he’d buy his mother each week, knowing she preferred them over roses. He was loved in the ways that could speak deeper than “I love you.” Just a smile could brighten someone’s day.
Jungwon was meant to be loved simply for the way that he loved. For his genuine care in the smallest details, and how he wore his heart on his sleeve.
You’ve always known him to be this way, how he’d stay up late with you to finish an assignment, then bring you your favorite drink the next morning to wake you up. And if your drink wasn’t made right that day? He’d waste no time giving you his instead. You knew how friendly he was, and how comfortable he felt around others because of the fact he was so comfortable in himself. It’s almost a nauseating feeling, how you wished you could be a little more like him. How leaning against the lockers on one arm as his head dips close to yours doesn’t flutter his heart one bit.
“we still on for after school?” Your eyes find his, smiling back at his flashy grin.
“we always hang out after school won.”
“i just like to remind myself.” He chuckles, trying to ignore the way his name falling off your lips makes his body heat up. He closes your locker for you after you grab your books, following beside you as you begin down the hall. It doesn’t go unnoticed by lingering students how he always walks you to your last class of the day. This is typical Jungwon behavior, how he follows you to your room, brushing his shoulder with yours every so often. The class is already bustling with noise as he opens the door for you. You quickly turn to him, his glimmering eyes always shining a little brighter than the day before through his strands of blond hair.
“I’ll meet you outside in a bit.” you say softly, catching the way his eyes intently move back and forth between yours. They catch a hair out of place, gently lifting his fingers to move it behind your ear. “Mhm, Until then.” He agrees, winking before he’s off to his final lecture of the day.
You find it funny how much he’s risking to be around you so often, as the bell rings abruptly through the building. You can still make his figure jogging down the hall. He’s going to be late again you realize, knowing Jungwon couldn’t care less. He’s always put others before him and he’ll keep doing that to his grave, for it was simply the way he was.
If you asked Jungwon, he might give a different answer. Love might be something that radiates off of him, but it wasn’t something he shared so easily, not to his classmates or even his closest friends. Love was something he cherished, something he saved in hopes that someday the person he loved would return it.
Jungwon was in love with you, and terribly so.
Never did he bother to linger around anyone else as much, he never tried so hard to make someone see how much he cared. The attention you’d attract from curious glances of students excited him, made him feel like you could be together, like you were together. He’s made it so painfully obvious how every gaze you attract from another guy sets off a fire in his chest, how any moment away from you physically pains him. He never denies it when his friends make jokes about the two of you dating, though he never fully commits to accepting them either. Just shrugging it off while he changes the topic.
Jungwon knows how it would play out. He’d confess how he’s been in love with you for years, you’d reject him, and years of friendship would end within the night. He isn’t prepared to lose that, much less lose you at all. So he settles with the fact that he has you now. He doesn’t have to have you more, not even when he’s begging for it.
By the end of the hour he finds you outside, standing by his car just like you promised. Your shoe plays with a small rock, before the sound of his footsteps takes your attention. You give him a soft smile, like he was the reason for brightening your day, and he reminds himself he wouldn’t trade this for anything. Simply being your best friend was enough, at least to numb over his aching heart.
But in your smile lies a feeling. Something you’re not sure is new or has been suppressed for a long time. He’s seen the look on you before, never knew exactly what it meant but paid it no mind. And for a while you told yourself it wasn’t anything too.
It started about a year ago, when you woke up under the soft covers of his sheets. After a Friday all-nighter spent with him and his friends, you found yourself too exhausted to keep up with them by the early morning. How exactly you fell asleep, and more specifically how you got into his bed you didn’t want to think about. You didn’t want to admit the possibility that he carried you, softly laying you down while the rest of his friends cooing lovey jokes dissipated into the background. It made you embarrassed for him having to deal with that, but what was more confusing to you was that a part of you was disappointed. A part of you pushed down how you wished you could’ve woken up next to him.
You let it be then, but that feeling has its moments where it’s too strong to ignore. When he lingers close for a second too long. When you look for him first in any room and his eyes are already on you. Even after the countless times your friends have insisted that it means something. If not to you yet, it does to him.
“How long have you and Jungwon been dating for again?” You recall Giselle joking to you a few weeks back. On the outside her face remains curious, but her words are laced with a teasing remark. She waits a few seconds, watches the way you huff a sigh and roll your eyes, ignoring the twinge in your chest before she lets out a warm laugh. “you can’t tell me the way he treats you, let alone looks at you doesn’t mean something, babe.”
“He’s always treated me that way?”
“Which further proves my point, he’s so in love with you, I think you know it too.”
She’s said it so many times it feels like a well-oversaid joke, but that feeling comes back again. That ‘what if’ that sits in your core. What if she’s right? Would things change for the better? or for the worse? Does he feel the same way?
And would it really be so bad?
It’s then you catch yourself starting to believe that what she’s saying is true.
“Girl, you’re thinking about him right now!!” Giselle exclaims, taking you out of your thoughts. “friends don’t act the way you two do. Just accept that he’s in love with you, and that you love him too.”
Everything she says, and all the times before, really makes you reconsider just how much you’ve been avoiding these thoughts, and how much you’ve been holding back.
So the weeks go on, and once again you find yourself seated in the passengers seat of Jungwons car like always. You don’t angle your body towards him like usual though, where you’d usually go off about some deep, interesting topic. Your knees stay pointed towards the window, and your thumbs twiddle in your lap. He’s already done more than enough today, placing your bag in the backseat while still managing to open the car door for you to step inside. Giselles words skip in your mind like a broken record.
Jungwon notices, he’d be stupid if he didn’t. He catches how you’re quieter, thinking something might’ve bothered you in your last class. But even as you get to his place, ending the quiet car ride with more silence, does he start to suspect something. The worst idea that comes to his mind is that something happened between you and him. He prays it’s anything but that.
You step inside and immediately find yourself taking out your textbooks at the kitchen table. A formal spot, a place nothing strange or out of the ordinary could happen. Though you aren’t exactly sure what is ordinary about your friendship with Jungwon, or if it’s been anything but that. He locks the front door as he finds you inside. Not at the couch, nor heading up the stairs to his room like every other time you come over.
“Is everything ok?” He says your name, and you swallow hard at how it sounds so sweet coming from his lips. Has he always said it like that?
“All good, just have a lot of schoolwork.”
He knows something’s up, doesn’t know how long you’ll hold it in for until it seeps out of you. You always come around to telling how eachother feels, but this time it feels different. He takes note of the way your hands fidget for your computer as he reaches over to help you. The skin of his hand lightly brushes against yours, and you jolt from the spark it shoots through you. Did you ever realize he made you feel this way? He places his hand on top of yours to reassure you that whatever’s going on, it’s alright.
But it really isn’t alright, because as soon as your eyes meet you have to look away. Do his eyes always have that tinge of a sparkle in them? His lips have never smiled at you this way you swear, and it doesn’t help that his hair manages to fall perfectly over his chiseled face everytime. you avert your gaze, but only for a moment as his fingers gently pull your chin back to him.
“What’s going on?” Worry courses through his words. Whatever your behavior is begins to bother him as much as it bothers you, though you can’t quite focus with his hand caressing your face. You force yourself to pull away, sitting yourself onto the barstool and immediately trying to to direct your attention back to your work.
Only a few hours of silence feels like days as you both work into the evening. No jokes this time, no outbursts of laughter like usual. Uncomfortable to the point Jungwon has to do something about it. He moves himself from the table, heading towards the couch where he picks up the remote.
He’s clicking through the channels, and though the sound pulls you away from your work, you’re only thinking about his hands. How they’ve hugged you when you’ve cried, and caressed your head when he was proud of you. His hands are always on you, you realize, much like how he held your face only a short while ago. You’re not sure whether you’re scared by how much he’s all over you, or how you never actually want him to let go.
Jungwon lands on an old movie, something from 2001 you make out before you refocus on him, now looking back at you. He gestures his head over to the couch, and you feel bad enough for acting so distant around him all day, the least you can do is watch it beside him.
You’re sure to keep enough distant between the two of you. It’s nothing like how you normally go about movie nights, shoulders comfortably touching which eventually leads to you fast asleep against his chest. Now you’re on the opposite end of the couch, not even connected by a blanket.
It’s getting harder for Jungwon to keep his distance from you, he tries to shift closer and replace the tension that’s building between you, but with every shuffle of movement Giselle’s words replay in your mind.
friends don’t act the way you two do. Just accept that he’s in love with you, and that you love him too.
The movie is reaching its climax, and it’s then you turn your head to look at him. You hope he’s distracted by the film, but his eyes are already looking back at you.
“Wonnie can we talk.”
It’s more of a statement than a question, because you know he’s got something to say, something you think has been holding him back for a while now. You just aren’t sure if it’s you who’s been making him bold back, or if you were just the one holding back this whole time.
He sighs, melting at the way you say his name, and how you think it’s so casual to call your bestfriend that when your words are laced with honey. He’s tensing at whatever might go down next, what might alter the future of your friendship, or whatever the two of you have been. He shifts forward so he’s closer to you, giving a reassuring smile.
“You can talk to me about anything”
You swallow hard, noticing the way your hands are centimeters apart. You want him to hold you, you know that now.
“I think something’s going on with us.”
He chuckles, “yeah I think so too.”
after a minute or so of silence, you begin again.
“Is there something you need to tell me Won?”
“Just something I think you need to realize.”
Your breath catches in your throat when he says that, barely above a whisper. Somehow he’s less than a foot away, and his hand slowly reaches up to cup your cheek. almost instinctively you give in, leaning into his palm. His smile is so soft, he knows you can’t hold back from it anymore.
“Do you want me to let go.”
“Please don’t.”
His thumb strokes your face, eyes half-lidded as he comes closer. Your eyes close from the comfort of him on your skin, you don’t even give a second thought when he asks if he can kiss you. His lips press onto yours, and it feels too good for you to wonder what you’ve been running from for so long. Something about Jungwon with you feels so right and you’ve known it. Your hands grip his shirt, tugging him closer as his other hand finds your waist. With the way he isn’t fazed by the kiss tells you everything you need to know. Jungwon has always been like this for you, He’s always loved you. And it’s now that you finally understand you were always meant to love yang jungwon.
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