#and si

[kenjaks]

For a friend

For @thedarkeraspect

(do not think crap)

For someone that needed a friend

For someone that I identified myself on

For someone that were kind to me

This is a special thank

Why?

Because if someone is good to me I'm good to them

Ad if they are good to me I consider a friend

And go to see thedarkeraspect's work

[tomomoni]

SO UHHH. HOW WE FEELING??? [@fear-of-victory.]

KDJSHFJSHRHDJS,SSMHR

[wavcheck]

.

i will never marry and potentially get divorced. i can see those volatile arguments playing in my own life, in some way they have. i can see how there would be never a moment of peace and a shared home would be consecrated as shared suffering, a childhood replayed in a different context. also if it happens to be so, there is somebody in the shadows whether there or present telling me “i told you so” followed by an echoed past, a premonition, “nobody can love you, if they knew who you Really are”. would i have to pretend all my life and swallow my truth and ugliness? because i am a difficult and unworthy person? because i must find resolve and strength into myself, to pick my wretched body up, again and again while i am stepped on, passed over “she is already getting up, she does not need a hand. she turns away, she does not need my arms. she weeps against her palms, she does not need my shoulder.” as i grow older, i am wiser, and i know i can’t do it all alone. but i have no choice, i can’t let my guard down i can’t let anyone see this hollow empty soul with all its suppression, a person deemed for a life of difficult hell.

no amount of love today, can make up for that was denied to me many yesterdays. i will do everything fun, expected of me, reach my goals, and be admired but internally there will always be a disconnect between knowing who i really am, and what people see. and there will always be the desire to surrender to annihilation, but i keep making plans to hesitate. but how long can i put it off? how excited i am to fail everyone, but succeed in the way i have always truly wanted to, selflessly.

to reach the state of numbness, clear headedness, a straight shot within view, a manic joy, the flutter in my heart as if i am experiencing my first love… that is the elation i crave and if in that state, the steep step to salvation. i am self flagellating every day, to make up for my failures but arrive there quicker.

[santonali]

i fucking hate fabio borini