Felix has his bag zipped and ready in record time, phone sitting on the desk next to him, waiting to ring with another text from Blaine. He’s anxiously sitting on the edge of his seat, watching the clock as it ticks down the seconds to the bell. Moments later, the bell sounds and the door flings open with students. Felix hurries among the crowd, which thins as he gets closer to his destination. No one’s around, and so he slips quietly into the janitor’s closet and turns on the lightbulb hanging overhead. Felix puts his bag down and waits for Blaine, chewing on his bottom lip absentmindedly.
To say that Nathaniel had been shocked at all that their parents had been on the verge of getting a divorce and had finally revealed such at dinner came to no shock to the older of the Anderson twins. Why the hell would two people who constantly fought even think about staying together in the first place? It was something that was completely beyond the male’s train of thoughts. Then again it wasn’t really his place to say. All that really mattered was what he and Blaine would end up plotting together out of it. Chances are their parents would try to split them up and Nathaniel would be damned if their parents thought they were going to get away with that in one piece.
So after the dinner announcement had been made and Nate was well on his way to his bedroom. He dropped onto the bed and grunted from the thought alone. What he wouldn’t give for a smoke or even a drink right around now to really try and help his mind plot. “Fuck this shit.” Getting up and making his way out of his room to move into Blaine’s. His brother not yet being in the room and having been doing whatever the hell he had been up to. Nate moved to where he knew the younger of the two kept his own stash hidden. His own already being out otherwise he would have just taken things from there.
Pulling out the small bottle of Jack Daniels that he found hiding. Nate smirked. “Jackpot.” Popping it open and dipping his head back to practically down it. Once it had been half way finished and he could feel the tinting burn heating up his cheeks. He pulled away with a cough. “Why the hell do I do this shit again?!” He questioned while clearing his throat. Moving in for yet another round of chugging before setting the bottle down on the nearby dresser. Moving over and finding a notepad to write down his IOU for Blaine. He snatched the bottle and made his way back to his bedroom. Dropping back down onto his own bed to finish downing the rest of the bottle. His mind drifting away into the sweet lull of alcoholism.
NOTES: Logan has woken in the middle of the night from a nightmare. Blaine, ever the protective brother, goes to him immediately to calm him down, knowing that he needs comfort.
ADDITIONAL NOTES: Mentions of abuse.
Logan knew that being home from hospital wouldn't make what had happened any easier to deal with. He'd been suffering from nightmares every night and it wasn't too bad whilst he was in hospital - he'd known there was no possible way that Matthew could get to him. There'd been police outside of his door twenty-four hours a day, ensuring no one got through that hadn't previously been approved. Not to mention Blaine - he'd been awake as much as he could by Logan's bed, protecting him just like he always did. But now he was back in the dorms, it was frightening. His roommate, Puck, was away meaning Blaine was staying in his bed to watch over his brother, but Logan was terrified Matthew would pick the lock and come into the dorm in the middle of the night. If that wasn't bad enough, every single time he went to sleep he had flashbacks of what had happened, every single ounce of pain and every single punch he was forced to suffer. Tonight was no different - Logan had been asleep for a while, his pain medication making him incredibly drowsy, and he was curled in a ball, facing the wall. The flashbacks were so vivid, so realistic, and it had Logan crying out in his sleep, tears rolling down his cheeks. It was clear that he was still in a deep sleep but it didn't stop him from letting out quiet sobs, even as he slept, gripping at his duvet tightly.
Blaine was exhausted utterly exhausted. He had been sleeping in a hospital chair for what felt like a month and now to sleep in a bed felt weird, It was nice but weird. It also didn't help that he couldn't sleep. He knew his brother was safe, there was no way in hell that asshole would be getting on to campus let alone out of jail. If their father did anything right he at least had gotten Matthew put behind bars for a bit. But Blaine had trained himself into this bad habit of staying up most of the night, because he knew that was the hardest time for Logan. He usually slept during the day when Logan had people visiting him. He was gunna have to force himself into a new routine soon. Blaine had just managed to drift off into a light sleep when he was ripped away by the sobs. He laid there for a second wondering if he had imagined it but another came soon after. Blaine sat up and pushed himself out of bed closing the small distance between him and his twin. He sat on the bed and looked down at logan. He knew better then to touch him right now so he called his name a little loudly “Logey, wake up. Its a dream Loge. Logan.”
Logan let out another cry, shifting on the bed. No, it was too much. He didn't want to relive it, not again. Except with his dream, Logan had no idea that it was false - to him, it was actually happening. Every punch was real, every time Matthew forced him to do something, it was actually happening. But then he heard his brother's voice saying his name and he jerked awake. Logan sat up immediately, clearly terrified. He banged his broken arm on the bedroom and let out a loud cry of main, holding it to his chest, scrambling away from the figure sat on his bed, shaking his head. It was obvious that he was nothing but completely terrified and Logan drew his knees up to his chest, hiding his face in them and crying softly.
Blaine winced when Logan hit his arm and went to grab him for comfort but stopped. He inwardly cursed at him self when he realized he didn't do this right, and he reached over to the end table and turned the light on. “Logey, Logey Calm down its Blaine.” Blaine signed and said at the same time knowing Logan couldnt see him because he was hiding his face. “Logey....” Blaine said softly and reached over and touched Logan's knee “Hey, its okay I'm here. You're safe.” it honestly felt a little weird to Blaine to speak rather then sign at his brother, but when he wasn't looking at him he couldn't exactly do that. “Loge...”
Logan felt the touch on his knee and let out a quiet whimper, automatically wanting to move away from it. He knew it was Blaine though and he glanced up at him, biting his lip hard. He felt bad for moving away from him but with the memory vivid in his mind, he could help it. Swallowing hard, Logan slowly moved his legs down, not quite looking up at his brother. His arm was throbbing from where he'd hit it and he tried not to show it, even though it was obvious how much pain he was in. He brought the arm, wrapped tightly in a cast, to his chest and wiped his eyes quickly before signing to his brother. "Just ignore me, it was a bad dream. I'm fine, honestly. Just go back to sleep or something, I don't know."
Blaine was happy to see logan unball himself but not so much when he signed at him. “Um how about no.” he signed. He stood up and walked over to the bag he kept by his bed then back to logan. He crawled onto the bed and wiggled himself in between logan and the night stand. He reached in with the tissues he had grabbed and wiped his brother's tears. “I'd never ignore you you know that.” Blaine quickly signed then reached over and carefully rubbed the top part of Logan's arm in a soothing motion hoping to help him with the pain, it was too soon for more pain meds so he hoped he helped. “I'd say it was just a bad dream.” he signed pausing his rubbing. “But I know it wasn't and I'm sorry but I'm here” He said going back to hopfully soothing his brother's arm.
Logan furrowed his brow when Blaine got up but then he'd crawled into bed with him and immediately he was cuddling into him. His head came to rest on his chest and he began to cry softly as Blaine rubbed the top of his arm to try and relax. It still hurt and Logan was in a lot more pain than he wanted to admit, but what could he do? He wasn't able to take any more pain medication, no matter how much he wanted to, so all Logan could do was lay there in agony. He couldn't talk about Matthew, not anymore, so all he did was shake his head, pulling away from his brother a little so he could sign. "Please, Blaine, I don't want to think about him. I don't want to remember everything he did to me. I just want to forget the whole thing ever happened. Please."
Blaine wanted Logan to stop crying, he hated when his brother cried it made him feel so hopeless and scared he couldn't help. He just wrapped his arms around the other boy and rested his chin on his head lightly until he pulled away. He watched his brother sign and his heart hurt. He nodded a bit and signed back “Alright, we wont talk about it. Just try and calm down kay? I know its hard But deep breaths.” He said before wrapping his arms back around him and pulling him a little closer. Blaine took his own deep breath and buried his face in his brother's curls that were wild just like his. His heart hurt for his brother and more over that he didn't put that bastard in his own hospital bed when he had the chance. He kissed the top of His brother's head his hand still rubbing his arm hoping to help in some way.
Logan didn't protest when Blaine pulled him a little closer, cuddling in close to him. He let out a little sniffle but before he could stop it, he was outright sobbing into his brother's chest. His fingers curled tightly into his shirt as he cried, needing it to keep himself grounded. Sure, the kiss to the top of his head helped, but his heart was still breaking because it wasn't fair. Why should he have to be the one who was in an abusive relationship for so long? Why was it that he was the one who was now too afraid to go out of his own bedroom for fear of being attacked? He'd not done anything wrong in his life and he always tried to be a good person. This being his reward was bullshit.
Blaine knew this was probably what his brother needed to do. To cry it out. He hadn't done that at the hospital so now was probably the best time. He could feel his shirt getting damp from the tears but at this point Blaine would lay down in a tar pit if it meant making his brother feel better. So Blaine sat there and let Logan cry it out hoping he felt a little protected at least. Without really realizing it, and maybe it was because it was quiet and Blaine had always hated the quiet he started humming. He wasn't sure if it was to make himself feel better or Logan, but music was always something that helped him.
Logan was grateful that Blaine didn't pull away, and he was grateful that he didn't say anything. All he could do was hold onto his brother as tightly as he could, crying against him. But then his brother had begun to hum quietly and his sobs got softer, listening to him. The sound relaxed him and he knew it meant he was safe - he was with Blaine, who'd never let anything happen to him, and he tightened his grip on him again, wiping his tears with a slight blush. Logan pulled back a little so he could sign to his brother, sighing. "I'm sorry. I must be such an embarrassment right now. Although I'm always an embarrassment so that was a dumb thing to say. You can go back to sleep, I'll just lay here for a while. I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep for a long time yet."
Blaine felt himself relax a bit when he felt Logan do the same, it meant he was helping. Blaine always felt better when he was able to help his brother. He gave Logan a look that said 'are you kidding?' before signing to him. “Logan the only time you ever embarrassed me was when we were 9 and you made me sit down and let you put moms make up on me cuz you said it was “Art for the face” and she caught us.” Blaine signed then shook his head “Logey in case you haven't noticed, I haven't really been sleeping much.” He said before he patted his brother's side to scoot him in between his legs so he was laying flush against his chest. “So we'll stay up together. I can put on a movie on my phone, or we can play twenty questions, or we can just sit here with our eyes closed, what ever you wanna do.” Blaine said wrapping his arms around his brother.
Logan smiled fondly as he remember what Blaine was talking about, shrugging his shoulders a little before signing a response. "In my defence, it is art for the face. And I did your makeup pretty well for a nine year old boy, thank you very much. Mom wasn't mad or anything though, she just found it funny and kind of cute that you sat there and let me do that." Logan grinned, shifting when Blaine patted his hip. He winced slightly as he moved, the numerous bruises on his body making him ache but soon enough he was settled between Blaine's legs, laying against him. "I don't mind what we do," he sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "If we were to play twenty questions, what would you ask me? You know everything about me.”
Blaine smiled a bit when Logan reminded him that their mom wasn't mad “I know she wasn't but the pictures she took that are in her photo album made it a bit worse.” he sighed to Logan then added But you're right, you did do a pretty damn good job for a nine year old.” Blaine tried not to frown when Logan winced, and he made sure he was comfortable before they settled in so he wouldn't have to move again and make logan hurt more. “We could play the what am I thinking of twenty questions not the getting to know one another one.” Blaine sighed putting his head back against the headboard of Logan's bed. “or we could play pictionary. Although you're way to good at that game.” Blaine sighed again to his brother. He liked signing to Logan especially when it was quiet although he loved doing it in the middle of a group and talking smack about someone with it.
Logan settled down comfortably, keeping his head on his brother's chest. His body still ached and it was clear he was still in a lot of pain, but he kept quiet, not wanting Blaine to worry any more than he already had been. He smiled faintly at the words, looking up at his brother and shrugging his shoulders before signing against. "We don't have to play anything if you don't want to, Blaine. I'm more than happy to just lay here. Or we could talk about... things. I know there are some things I need to talk about so I guess we could do that. I'm not sure."
Blaine nodded a bit his chin bumping the top of Logan's head. “We can do the talking thing.” he signed. “I'd much rather you talk about stuff you need to talk about then to have to drag it out of you.” Blaine signed again before reaching over and grabbing his phone and turning his pandora on. He turned the music down low enough that it wasn't distracting but also would make any long quiet pauses not so awkward. Blaine wasn't sure if his brother had heavy things to talk about but he didn't want him feeling awkward, especially with him, and music always helped Blaine feel better and when Blaine was calm most of the time so was Logan.
Logan shifted a little uncomfortably, not quite looking at his brother. He knew he needed to talk about what he'd been through, even if it was just about the nightmare he'd had, but he had no clue where to begin. Blaine had put music on and he was grateful because this meant it'd calm him down - when Blaine was calm, Logan was too. With a small sniffle he shifted a little closer, hiding his face in the crook of his neck for a moment before pulling back, looking up at his brother and signing to him. "I don't know where to start. I need to talk about what he did to me but I don't know how, Blaine. I have no idea how I'm supposed to talk about it."
Blaine nuzzled his face against Logan's without really thinking when he put his face into the crook of his neck. Blaine shrugged “Start where you can.” Blaine sighed. He figured if he signed it'd help Logan feel a bit better if it was all just signing “even if its just about right now.” he signed more shrugging “or talk about stuff when we were little just....what ever feels right.” He said nuzzling Logan's temple a bit more.
Logan bit his lip, shifting again and groaning softly in pain. He signed again, grateful for Blaine cuddling into him. "Now, I mean I need to talk about him. Matthew." He spelled out the name, closing his eyes slightly. His hands were trembling but he tried to hide it, swallowing hard. "I guess I could start with how I met him. He was a regular at the coffee store I worked at and he visited me every day with flowers. And he was really sweet, Blaine. No one had ever bought me flowers before and I was so stupid. I feel for him so fast and it's humiliating."
Blaine frowned a bit when logan groaned, and even more so when he saw his brother's hands shake. He reached forward with one hand and put it on His wrist for a moment or two, a silent “I'm here.” without interrupting him. “its not stupid for falling fast. S'what he wanted and he knew how to get what he wanted. And how could you have known it wasn't genuine.” Blaine comforted before letting Logan go on.
Logan was thankful for Blaine's hand on his wrist, shifting a little with a nervous expression before signing again. "We moved pretty fast in our relationship. I was so stupid and naive that I thought he really loved me. I practically lived with him, I was at his apartment so much and then he gave me a key and everything just went downhill. He wouldn't let me out of his sight, Blaine. If I did something wrong, he'd hit me. If I didn't want sex, he'd hit me and do it anyway. I'm so ashamed of myself for letting it all happen." Logan was crying now and hid his face in his brother's chest, letting out a tiny sob.
Blaine maybe this wasn't such a good idea because honestly the more his brother signed the more Blaine wanted to get up and murder this asshole. But he held it in pretty well and just rubbed Logan's back when he cried. “Logan.” Blaine spoke mostly because he didn't want his brother to have to move to see the signs. “Don't be ashamed, its not your fault, once that dude got a hold of you he wasn't going to let you go...look what happened when you did leave him the first time.” He said kissing the top of his brother's head again. “none of this is your fault. Think of it this way.” he said shifting a bit so he was a little closer to his brother's face “if our roles were reversed and I got involved with someone like that, would you tell me it was my fault?”
Logan was surprised when Blaine spoke but he didn't show it, keeping his face completely hidden. He just shook his head as his brother spoke, letting out another sob when he moved closer to Logan's face. The question had him sniffling and he bit his lip, slowly shaking his head. He'd never blame Blaine for this but Logan knew it was his fault. He was the one who let Matthew into his life and he was entirely to blame for it all.
Blaine “see?” Blaine said rubbing Logan's back slowly “None of this was your fault, none of it. I know right now because its all fresh and you've been basically brainwashed by this ass, it doesn't seem like it's not. But give it some time. In a few weeks, it wont hurt as much, and a few more weeks after that you'll start to realize that you did nothing wrong logan, and you didn't ask for any of this.” He said before kissing his brother's temple. Honestly affection, positive affection was the only think Blaine could think of right now to help his brother. That and it was kinda all involuntary if he was being totally honest, he couldn't stop himself from holding his brother close.
Logan shook his head again, letting out a soft whimper. It was his fault and Blaine couldn't understand that. All he could do though was curl into him as closely as he could, nuzzling into his neck. A small sigh escaped him at the kiss to his temple and Logan leaned up a little, kissing his brother's cheek gently before settling down once more, biting his lip a little. "I feel like it's my fault though. This whole thing feels like it's my fault because I'm the one who let him into my life. I was with him for over a year, Blaine. I can't believe I was stupid enough to do that."
Blaine the whimpers were the worst. He just wanted Logan to feel better, to realize that this wasn't his fault. “Yeah you let him in, but you didn't know what he was. And Logey you've said it yourself, he wouldn't let you walk away, you were trapped and held hostage. He wouldn't let you leave, he almost killed you when you did finally put your foot down. You aren't stupid you are the smartest person I know. You just got tangled up with someone who wanted to do harm not good. I love you logey I always will, but you gotta start to love you like I love you.” he said nuzzling Logan's face. He cleared his throat a bit and tried to smile “But think about it this way, your art is gunna get even more amazing, cuz all good artists have gone through some trauma right?” he asked trying to make a joke.
Logan looked up at Blaine when he made a joke, a small crease between his eyebrows. He gave a quiet laugh, shaking his head fondly and shuffling a little closer to his brother. Logan nuzzled into him, shifting a little so he was practically laying on top of Blaine, head resting completely on his chest. There was nothing he could say, not really, because Blaine knew how much he loved him. He knew Logan adored him and nothing was ever going to change that. It was the only thing he really needed to think about, his good hand coming down and holding his hand, squeezing it gently and sighing.
Blaine smiled a bit when Logan laughed and he closed his eyes when Logan nuzzled him. Normally Blaine hated being pinned down, he had a bad case of claustrophobia only Logan and Cooper knew about, but when it was Logan it was different. It might have been because they were both the same size, even though Logan was a lot lighter then Blaine. Or maybe it was because he was his brother or it was that weird pull between them. Blaine wasn't stupid, he knew were was something there for him and Logan that wasn't there for all the other twins they knew. They never spoke about it but there was something there, and Blaine was sure the reason they didn't talk about it was because it was scary. Blaine took a deep breath when Logan took his hand and Blaine laced their fingers together. “I love you Loges.” Blaine said quietly even if he had just said it a few moments before.
Logan smiled at his brother's words, nuzzling in closer to him. He loved their relationship and he adored being close to Blaine in the way that he was. He looked up, slowly signing the words "I love you too," before curling in closer to him, hands curling around his middle. Logan wasn't stupid, he knew they were closer than most twins were but Blaine had always been there for him and he knew that with his brother's arms being wrapped around him like this, he'd be able to fall asleep without fear.
Blaine could feel himself starting to get sleepy again and he yawned slightly “If you have another nightmare wake me up.” He said quietly “Or even if you wanna talk some more.” He said. His arms stayed around Logan and he was more then content to fall back asleep he knew though even if Logan didn't wake him up if he had a nightmare Blaine would be awake again in seconds. That was just how things worked between them.
[Upon receiving Milo's last text, Julian got up and tidied a few things -- Making sure everything looked nice. He wasn't exactly sure why, seeing as Julian himself was almost always perfectly organized, and Milo probably didn't really care how his apartment looked. Maybe it was a bit of OCD in him, or the fact that Milo was coming over. It'd been months, and the two of them, though they couldn't didn't always stay in touch, had a close bond. Julian always stayed close to Milo when they were kids, and he really hadn't grown out of it. But the younger boy wasn't one to confront people, so he never complained when the twin went off to do his own thing.
Finding ways to keep himself busy until his brother arrived, Julian's stature quickly arose when he heard the knock at the door and he quickly answered, opening it with a bright smile.] Hi. [Julian breathed out, before beginning to feel slightly awkward. It had been 6 months since he'd only just heard from Milo, let alone seen him, though Julian had really just missed him, so he ignored it as best as he could.]
CARLISLE’S NEVER ENDING SET LIST ♫ SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW
Performed by Carlisle Anderson as a part of his solo set on January 21st, 2014.
The original version of this song can be found right here.
Notes/Setting Sometimes the strain of the fame seems to be too much for Carlisle, and with his new engagement, he just wants a place.. for him and Liam to be alone.
Tonight, the band leaves the stage, and like that, his stool is brought out on the stage, but, Carlisle is given a headset to begin with. With it in place, he moves to the edge of the stage, right where Liam is sitting, his leg almost in reach of the other's hand. The guitar is in his arms, and he feels at home, but, the glint of his new engagement ring draws his eye and for the first time in forever, he wants nothing more than to be alone with Liam, just the two of them. "Starting this one out a little slow tonight, folks. I'm sitting here with all of you tonight, and I've never been happier. Every single person in this place.. you're incredible, the most amazing fans I could ask for. But, do you ever just wanna get away? Is there a place where.. no one can touch you, and until you leave, no one can find you? Keane, this amazing band, talks about one of those places. Maybe someday, baby," he finishes before slipping his pick down the open strings on the guitar. "So, here's Somewhere Only We Know."
Carlisle:
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go?
So why don't we go?
Ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know?
Performed by Carlisle Anderson as a part of his solo set on January 20th, 2014.
The original version of this song can be found right here.
Notes/Setting Carlisle, after their conversation the night before, is at a loss for words. So, like most things, he tells Liam how he feels.. through the words of the song.
After the night before, Carlisle's set takes on a little bit of a different feel. His usually upbeat and on top originals turn into something soft, his voice construing so much emotion that he's not really all that sure how to show. His eyes glance towards Liam more often than not throughout the night, but, as the song before his last comes to a close, he's all Carlisle can look at. "So, today has been.. crazy, right? Stellar first half, calm and relaxing second. I'm feeling.. a certain kind of rush. Have y'all ever been so overwhelmed that you can't think, you don't feel whole, you.. aren't yourself? You're in a situation where you're completely taken over, but yet, you're the most whole and yourself that you've ever been? It's like.. an avalanche. You don't know it's coming until it's upon you, and as you're getting washed away in it, you know you're going under, but, you're taking the ride of your life. It's.. love, I think. Being swept away in an avalanche. So, here's David Cook's, Avalanche."
Carlisle:
I feel alive beside you
And all at once I am whole again
We fall into each other
Your atmosphere is all I'm breathing in
And in this rush we are crushed
Carry me down rolling in your arms
'Cause I can't remember ever falling this hard
Tell me tonight all that we have been
Was it nothing more than noise inside my head?
Crashing down, crashing down
In your avalanche, in your avalanche
These scars we wear remind us
The more we change, the more we're all the same
Swept up in this emotion
We've fumbled through and made the same mistakes
'Cause we are led to the edge
Carry me down rolling in your arms
'Cause I can't remember ever falling this hard
Tell me tonight all that we have been
Was it nothing more than noise inside my head?
Crashing down, crashing down in your avalanche
Crashing down, crashing down
Carry me down rolling in your arms
'Cause I can't remember ever falling this hard
Tell me tonight all that we have been
Was it nothing more than noise inside my head?
Carry me down rolling in your arms
'Cause I can't remember ever falling this hard
Tell me tonight all that we have been
Was it nothing more than noise inside our heads?
Crashing down, crashing down
Was it nothing more than noise inside our heads?
Crashing down, crashing down
I feel alive beside you
And all at once I am whole again
