"The day the world brought them closer - but not really" a Hogwarts Castle x Quidditch Pitch fanfic
dedicated to my seven-hours friend, andromedatonx. I want to point out that this is intended as a joke and I am not an insane pers- oh who am I kidding ? OTfuckingP.
March the 8th,
The day the world brought them closer.
That day was a day like any other. The rain was pouring but that was nothing out of the usual for Scotland in the Spring. The students were skipping about the Hogwarts grounds, completely oblivious to the fact that such an iconic love story was going to take place right in front of their eyes. Aaah, humans, these fragile and tickling little things, they were never aware of anything, were they ? But over the years, he had grown attached to them and had learned to love them for what they were : a constant entertainment. Usually, he liked to watch their whereabouts, who was skipping class to snog someone outside the herbology greenhouses, who was paying a little late-night visit to dear ol' Hagrid (and believe me, the answer might surprise you)… But not today. Today was the day everything was going to change. The Quidditch Pitch was shivering – okay, not literally because really, how annoying would that be for the Slytherin Quidditch Team currently practicing ? – let's say, he was quivering of anticipation. For the first time in what felt like centuries, probably because it was indeed centuries, the Castle had shown the slightest bit of interest towards him. Of course it wasn't much, just a little rumble deep in the earth, coming from the foundations of the Hogwarts castle, but if he had a heart, this would have made it beat faster. As long as he could remember, he had always had a crush on her. She (of course, Hogwarts Castle is a she. Come on, think about it… Enchanted Castle ? Really ? What's not feminine about that?) was the most magnificent and pointy building he had ever seen. Of course, he hadn't seen much, he had been next to her his whole life but situated on a strategic position like he was, at the top of the hill, he had a pretty good view on Hogsmeade and as far as he knew, Hogwarts Castle was pretty much the Victoria's Secret super model of the valley.
Yes, she was a cougar, so what ? This wasn't going to dismish his love for her. Magdalena (as she was liked to be called by her close friends and well, even if he wasn't really a friend, at least he was close. Strictly speaking) had seen and lived things beyond his craziest dreams, she was wise and mysterious, and that had always turned him on. Besides, she must have seen pretty steamy stuff happening in the numerous four-poster beds, empty classrooms, prefects bathtubs… Generations of hormone-crazed teenagers had walked her corridors and god damn it, must she be a naughty one. Of course, he had witnessed some interesting intercourse himself – some students seemed to be really into the "in private/under the stars" thing, but they were rarer. Even if, let's face it, he wasn't to blame, for the ones that made it all the way down to the Quidditch Pitch to have le sexy time, defying the elements, the curfew and the stiffness of the hard wooden benches, were probably the dirtiest ones. But still, the Castle was an expert on the matter, he was sure of it. But she never acknowledged his presence, let alone let him down her basement. His mummy – who was a football field in the Devon (yes he was a Mudblood, so what ?) – had warned him about buildings. "They will look at you as if you're worth nothing, just because you don't have a roof, but never give in to their bullying. You're a strong, handsome young Quidditch pitch and you won't let any fancy ceiling tell you otherwise." And at first, that's what he had done. Actually, when he first came to Hogwarts, he had been the new sensation in the whole neighborhood. "Have you seen the new Quidditch Pitch ? With his bright stands and his perfectly shaped hoops ? Damn, I'd like to score a goal or two in those, if you know what I mean." Everyone. Even the Forbidden Forest had made a move on him – but he wasn't a loser, no, he had pride. And he wasn't going to stoop for no dark, bushy forest-y thing. Even if, there was a time of his life when he would have loved the challenge of a Forbidden something, but we've all been pretty stupid when we were teenagers. Now he was more mature, what he wanted was the Castle. The real deal. The thin turrets and the high windows, the hardwood floors… Damn how Magdalena was fit for her age. Just thinking about her made his grass bristle.
She had never done so much as wink a shutter at him, or even supposedly inadvertently lost a tile that went rolling near his stands (they all did that… oldest trick in the book) but that day, everything was going to change. He was a very sensitive pitch, that's what his ex-girlfriend, a cute little park in Hogsmeade, loved the most about him, therefore he sensed that little stirring deep in the ground. An earthquake was coming. That was going to be the most joyful day of his life. His whole future happiness will be owed to the fluttering of a butterfly's wings somewhere in Mexico. But there it was, the stirring, growing stronger and stronger, coming closer. This was now or never. The moment his whole existence revolved around. This was the chance of a lifetime. The ultimate ice-breaker. If he could get closer to the Castle, he could even brush against her flawless stone walls. He braced himself for the shaking, he was going to risk it all and…
Nothing happened.
The earth stayed completely still. But at the corner of his eye, he could see Rubeus Hagrid slowly opening the door of his commodities, a little wooden shed, marked of a star, and stepping out with a relieved sigh and a hand on his belly.
No. This couldn't be. That was the stirring ? All his hopes had been for nothing. He was going to die alone and weeds would grow between the stands, and the wood of the stairs would rot. His whole life was over, he was just going to let himself go to ruin and die. If the Slytherin Quidditch team, who was currently leaving, stamping the pitch's grass with no idea how much that added to his misery, had been more careful, they'd notice that the drops rolling down the hoops were too thick to be rain. They were tears. The Quidditch Pitch decided he would never hurt that way again, and spend the rest of his existence finding ways to make Hagrid pay.
He was trying to grow a row of mandragores around his edge – that would make the gatekeeper wish he'd never been born at all – when he was tickled by a small rustling near the Professors stand. He tried to ignore it at first but as the wind moved it repeatedly, it became impossible. The Quidditch pitch turned his attention from his evil avenging plans…
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then you have to give me the url because you can't be talking about me here - that is just not possible. totally following back because god damnit, you are perfection !
1. First impression: Oooh, she's a doll. And Jily dlsiajlfdsfdsj2. Truth is: Your blog is gawjuss. And your url now dsfijlsddsflj ;)3. How old do you look: ?4. Have you ever made me laugh: Yes5. Have you ever made me mad: Nah6. Best feature: You’re a doll7. Have I ever had a crush on you: nope8. You’re my: fellow Jily shipper9. Name in my phone: --10. Should you post this too? Ye did
