Andy: We've got this norm of what a family should look like: Two parents who are that are heterosexual and cisgender, who are monogamous and both biologically related to the children that they raise. And that those two parents and their biologically related children, that group is the family unit. That group lives together. That group is financially and practically interdependent, and no one else. We are taught this idea that not only is that the correct way to have a family, but that’s the traditional way to have a family.... Who benefits from us believing that the way to have a happy life is to find one person who will fulfill all your needs? And that if you’ve failed to do so, and that failure is evidenced by the fact that you have unmet needs, then the problem is that you failed to find the right person. Who benefits from us believing that? It's the state that would otherwise be fulfilling those needs. It's a state that does not want to put money into social services, and so benefits from creating welfare states of two. And it's a culture that wants to disincentivize large-scale interdependence because communities that are interdependent and that take care of each other, are resistant to the kind of disposability that lets the state and lets capitalism decide who has value, and who doesn't. When we exist in networks of interdependence and care, and then the state comes, or the police, and they try and tell us “this person is disposable, this person is worthless, you have to let us take them away to prison”, we wouldn't tolerate that.... So, it goes without saying that there is a queerness to the life that we’re building here. And that that queerness is in an unbroken line to our queer ancestors. The way that we’re told that we’re supposed to live, queers have never lived that way. And the conformity to that norm has never been something that serves as a functional lodestar for people like us. The salaciousness of it, the weirdness of it, doesn’t apply here. We are living in the way that our ancestors lived. So much more of this important conversation in the audio and full transcription from our interview. Available for Patrons










