#andy tries to function

[spidyspence]

i cooked my own dinner tonight. i spilled tomato paste all over the floor, burnt everything to a crisp, caused a small oven fire, poured boiling water on my foot and broke a pair of tongs.

believe it or not this was actually not that bad compared to my other cooking adventures.

[spidyspence]

you ever have like an idea and you try and like do something and it doesn't quite work out the way it did in your head and you don't realise you've done something stupid until you've done it?

i reblogged a funny picture of someone watering an aloe vera plant with aloe vera drink that someone had commented 'cannibalism' underneath, and i thought haha that's funny i could piss my friend off with that so i decided to try and find other pictures, you know i've seen pictures of like people watering apple trees with apple juice and stuff and i wanted to just annoy the fuck out of my friend

so i searched up "cannibalism pictures" and i have never regretted something so much, not even the time i went on ebay and searched for "sensory toys" trying to find fidget toys and now i'm waiting for like the police to bang down my door or something

[spidyspence]

i set a bookshelf on fire

[spidyspence]

i just spent 15 minutes and a third of a bottle of soap trying to wash my hands while dissociating because i kept either just putting my hand under the water and letting the soap run off or forgetting whether or not i'd actually washed my hands this time and having to do it again