5,30 for Ethan x MC throw in all the angst you can ! Thank u 💖
5. things you didn’t say at all 30. things I wish you’d said
From the things you said prompt list. Send me a pairing and number and I’ll write a mini fic!
this fic has gotten way longer than intended....
---
Narcissus Sent a Package
Rebecca Lao walked to the Diagnostics Office ready for her shift. She was overjoyed that things started to become semi-normal between her and Ethan after she called him a diva and spoiled brat outside their patient’s house two days ago. She was thankful the awkward tension dissipated.
Through the glass door she could see, sitting on the round table, where the team of Baz, Becca, June and Ethan met multiple times a day to deliberate on cases, was a basket. A gift basket of a large bouquet of flowers and a box wrapped prettily with a bow.
The air around the office became strained almost immediately upon Becca’s arrival.
June stood at the table and immediately turned to the resident, manicured thin eyebrows raised, as she walked in. Ethan was sat at his desk, attention on whatever lay before him. Baz was in a chair eying the basket with an embossed card addressed to the youngest member of the team.
“You have an admirer,” he spoke. Baz’s eyes were alight with intrigue - this was the most interesting thing to happen in months.
Becca’s brows furrowed together. Since when did anyone send gifts to the team? Who did she know that would send such a display?
She crossed the distance to inspect the gift basket. As she reached for the card she got a waft of sweetness from the fresh flowers - A bouquet of sweet pea and daffodil. The pinks and purples and yellows really complimented one another, and looked so out of place in the minimally modern room.
To herself, Becca read the words on the thick, definitely expensive, ivory card printed in black calligraphy;
Dr. R ‘2nd is the best’. But I like to think third time’s the charm. Looking forward to it. - T
The color drained from her face.
He wouldn’t.
The entire drunken escapade from weeks prior came rushing back to her all at once;
She knew she shouldn’t indulge another endeavor with the handsome stranger. It was a disaster waiting to happen. God, she hated the way this man smiled - like he was a python devouring her whole. But in the dim light of Donahue’s, Bryce’s encouraging winks and nods from a few stools down, and the free drinks pouring, maybe a dance with the devil was exactly what she needed. A bit of mind numbing sex never hurt anybody, right?
No;
This wouldn’t hurt Becca, or him, but in time it would hurt Ethan.
'Caroline’ downed her drink and gave Reggie the signal for another shot. Tobias and she clinked glasses as she weighed her options one final time.
Then they made their way to the bathroom.
Her eyes flitted from the card to the purposeful gift and back again.
He did.
And the intention behind it washed over her.
Shit.
“Wow, Becca. I didn’t think you had it in you,” June appraised, pulling the resident back to the room of awaiting bystanders.
Becca folded the card back up and placed it far away from the others reach. “What?” she responded, slightly dazed by this complete and utter spectacle laid out before her - the brazen flaunt of distrust.
June’s tight smile was all too telling. “Tobias,” she nodded towards the card and raised her eyebrows, “I’m impressed.”
Of course she read the card first.
As much as Becca wanted to smack that smirk off of Dr. Hirata’s face she refrained. It wasn’t worth making a scene. The damage was already done. June pulled the trigger with that transparent remark.
Of course she purposefully said his name out loud.
A pager cut through the gross tension coating the diagnostics office. It was Baz’s and he wordlessly fled the scene.
“Excuse me,” June left the room in his wake, leaving the inevitable drama to unfold.
Body tense, Becca hesitantly moved to the present. It was weighted, much too heavy to be a box of chocolates. Stupidly, she stole a glance at Ethan. He was sitting straight up, body turned from her, face stoic and doing his best to be uninterested.
She went to pull back the glossy purple paper, revealing the gift. Becca managed to uncover it halfway before everything clicked.
Staring back at her was a sparkly, aged bottle of amber scotch.
“I...” she pulled the rest of the paper back to reveal the name.
Fuck.
“I don’t think this was meant for me.”
Her words were loud and clear and ringing off the furniture, vibrating all around him.
And Ethan’s cover was blown;
“Wha-” he finally looked over at her, curiosity getting the better of him.
She turned to him and held up the box, “It’s your favorite.”
He didn’t miss the regret in her eyes. It was a darker amber than the expensive liquid she held. Her tight lips, pressed together and the light flush on her cheeks told him it was true.
The woman he fell for was involved with Tobias Carrick.
Ethan moved across the office quickly and with intention, coming just close enough to Becca to inspect the bottle. He did his best to keep a semblance of space between them.
He held the box in his hands. Inspecting. Deliberating. Letting his mind draw up as many conclusions has possible.
Her voice cut through, “I didn’t even tell him my real name.”
It was an decibel above a whisper, and not the consolation she meant it to be.
Ethan’s eyes were trained on the scotch. His features unmoving and frozen in place. The only sign of life was the small rise and fall of his chest as he attempted to swallow the lump in his throat.
Becca wished she hadn’t said anything. Wished that she just took the bouquet and unopened scotch back to her locker so no one had to know her personal business. More than anything, she wished she didn’t do it. She wished she let Tobias Carrick stay that nameless man in the club and pretended not to remember him at Donahue’s that night.
“Why on earth would you sleep with my ex-best friend, my rival?” It was more rhetorical than anything.
“We hooked up that’s all.”
They didn’t have sex. Thank God.
They were interrupted by loud rapping on the door and Reggie’s voice calling for them to “get another room”. As they put their shirts back on, and Becca was free from Tobias’ warmth between her legs, realization set in. Her heart wasn’t in it. She couldn’t do it. Becca denied going home with him and hoped to never see him again.
Unfortunately for her work forced their hands.
Ethan couldn’t help but let the a few careful emotions seep through as he barked, “What does that even mean? What does this mean?” He pointed between the flowers and the scotch.
Becca could feel the bottled up anger emanating off of him. And frankly, it pissed her off.
Ethan chose to sever any romantic ties they could have had in the name of her professional growth and ethics. It was his choice. As much as Becca didn’t agree, she respected his decision. She’s tried so hard to move on.
“Okay,” She held up her pointer finger ready to unleash the truth. “The first time I had no idea who he was! He was some rando at a club.”
It took everything in Ethan, every morsel of self control, to keep from asking when the first time was. When she first succumbed to his rival and how many times there were after that. How long after they slept together the night of her hearing did she jump into bed with someone else? How long after kissing him his first night back did she invalidate every single thing she ever said about wanting him?
He’d rather know about her salacious escapes with the scalpel jockey than with the likes of Tobias Carrick.
“And we did fool around in the bathroom at a bar a few weeks,” Becca continued her explanation on how she came to know the olive skinned stranger. “Then at the Bloom’s it clicked.”
During her entire soliloquy Ethan didn’t falter. He didn’t even acknowledge her person. His mind moved faster than her explanations. He dissected every word falling tastelessly off her tongue. He weighed the truth of each sentence and collected every scenario hiding in the subtext.
Becca watched as he mulled. At least, she assumed, he was marinating and assessing her words. Ethan was a statue in front of her. Eyes darker than she’s ever seen and hollow. Devoid of emotion as they stayed locked on the offending item in his white-knuckled hands.
She wished he would say something, anything. Any words, even venomous ones, would be better than the sullen look on his face.
Becca thought things were getting better between them; she thought they were making progress. All their differences aside, they were getting along. They were becoming better friends. Becca was one of the rare few people Ethan could actually trust.
And now...
With a rueful huff he unceremoniously freed the bottle of its confines.
Ethan’s mind was reeling - racing a mile a minute as their bodies stood frozen in place. As their bodies protected themselves.
First she weasels her way into his life, driving him to distraction and making him fall for her. She frazzled his mind with intrusive thoughts of her, so strong he needed a sabbatical. Then she’s dismantling the fundamentals of his team, everything he and his mentor worked their careers to build. Now, he feels as if he never really knew her at all.
Tobias Carrick always coveted everything Ethan Ramsey had; even after their medical school years ended, the distain still existed. Ethan could handle it all - every single dig and undermining being thrown his way. He learned to rise above the schemes every time Tobias tried and failed to outdo him. Ethan Ramsey was capable of moving on, forgetting everything without a second thought.
Everything except for this.
This was the one thing he could never overcome. She was the one thing Tobias could win at.
It never even crossed Ethan’s mind that Tobias could have her too. Even worse were the thoughts of how Tobias could have found her. Did the universe bring them together just as he assumed it divinely brought her into his life? Was he always destined to have to fight with Tobias for all he earned?
Ethan noted how he could never be narcissistic enough to send a one-night stand a gift basket.
Yet what made Ethan stir the most was how unashamed and brash the gesture was. Aside from the subtext, Ethan could never bring himself to send the woman of his affections flowers - their dynamic was far too complicated for Ethan to send Becca a token of appreciation.
So he grasped the bottle firmly by the neck and pulled it out of the box with an unsatisfying creak.
With one blind, emotional action Becca had unknowingly ruined everything they had or could ever be. Ethan Ramsey will never come second to Tobias Carrick. Ethan may have had Becca first, but with her dubious action she made her choice.
It wasn’t him.
He carried the bottle back to his desk and sat down.
“What’re you doing?” Becca questioned from the place she’d been stuck standing in for what felt like eons. Her eyes blinked rapidly as if what she’s been experiencing was just a nightmare and at some point she’ll wake up.
But this wasn’t an illusion. They both knew that.
This was how it ended.
How something that barely even began washed away with the stream of regret.
“Exactly what Tobias intended,” he half-shrugged. Bending down, pulled out a crystal tumbler from the lower drawer of his desk. “I’m drinking it.”
The nonchalance of his tone scared her. It was late afternoon and Ethan Ramsey was about to have a drink.
She was about to comment when he spoke first;
“You’re dismissed.”
It was definitive.
He cracked open the bottle and poured a hearty serving, spinning around in his chair to look at the x-rays he’s already seen just so that his back was fully to her.
Becca wanted to speak, to say something to make things better.
It was a mistake.
Back in those days she needed something, anything, to help her get over her all consuming feelings for Ethan and thought Tobias could help - that a random stranger could help numb the pain just a bit longer.
She wanted to tell Ethan everything - every single thing that led her to the moment of weakness.
But what was the point in telling him how much his disappearance and constant rejections hurt her? How many times can she tell him she’s fallen in love with him and her heart breaks every time they can’t be together? How she regretted the stranger the moment he had his hand up her skirt. How in the middle of Bloom’s living room her heart stopped beating when Tobias came to light and he learned of her true identity.
How could she apologize for all of that?
She was sorry, but sorry wouldn’t change the past.
It couldn’t change anything.
________________________________________
Masterlist
@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics
Perma:
@rookiemarsswiftie @lucy-268 @binny1985 @thegreentwin @queencarb @danijimenezv @starrystarrytrouble @terrm9 @interobanginyourmom @adrex04 @maurine07 @mercury84choices @schnitzelbutterfingers @theeccentricbibliophile @wingedhairstylemusicweasel @kaavyaethanramsey @mvalentine @rookie-ramsey @drariellevalentine @lifeaskim @otherworldlypresents @therookie @aylaramseycarrera @angela8754 @fireycookie @stateofgracious
