#angelwriting

[lettersofanangel]

We were liars darling.

You never knew how not to break my heart. Satin sheets and steamed milk poured over coffee with you kissing my neck, my shoulder, my every aching crevice in my soul were never enough. Truth is, I wanted the world and you along with it. 

We were liars darling.

You never cared about the city lights nor the politics hidden in black ties and pleasantries over champagne and accolades, but I did. You only wanted blue skies and wide open fields with sunsets so pink that we could dip our paintbrushes and color the entire town with, but I didn’t. 

We were liars darling.

From the very start to the very end. We played through the motions and let the credits roll and stayed behind until the theater lights came up and we could stay no more. But now she’s walking down the aisle towards you, and I can still see the ocean in your eyes. And it’s not her swimming in them.

It’s me.

[lettersofanangel]

I remember being in the meadow with you, and your laugh that was indistinguishable from the melted chocolate on the strawberries we brought but forgot about in the midst of chasing butterflies. Don’t pick me the flowers baby, let them live, let them bloom.  Let me count the freckles on your nose, the flecks in your eyes, and we can argue over if the universe had plans for us or if this is just how the stardust settled.  You never want to settle down, nor live some already led life. But my darling, there’s nothing new in this world anymore.

we’ll all be gone one day but the stars will remember us, here, laughing all the dust out of our tired lungs

[lettersofanangel]

I haven't washed my hair in days, but he'll still tuck it behind my ears after running his fingers through it. I think that he's got blinders on and can't see all my flaws and cracks and tape that's barely holding me together. But somehow, he'll still hold me, laugh at my jokes, and dance with me at 2am after I shatter myself all over him and he has to mop the floors and sweep up the pieces of me that I couldn't pick up myself.  I don't know why he's staying, but it doesn't matter,  because he is.

He repeats the words “I’m right here” and somehow the earthquake that’s within me will calm ever so slightly

[lettersofanangel]

But love, there’s an undeniable loneliness that overwhelms the monsoon of your eyes

am i looking at you or just the reflection of me in you

[lettersofanangel]

Everything is so temporary these days, I just never thought you would be too.

14 words I wrote for you #5

[lettersofanangel]

Leave me in the misery of the winter rain, I never minded the cold. There was a point in time when I willingly walked a snowstorm and trembled avalanches. Now I shiver at the sound of a snowflake grazing the ground. I remember you that night- sweatpants and tired smile- lost in a sea of mascaraed flutters and lipglossed pouts. Your eyes pierced through my layered heart from across the room. Bah. You’re the black ice I spun out of control on. You’re the sleet that bruised my lip. The lights are bright and shiny, the people are dull and bored. I only wish I had the patience. You’ll sit by the fire but refused to be burned.

And I’ll sleep with one eye open because you’re threatening to break into this hollow chest and make it home

[lettersofanangel]

Tell me how the ocean took your tears, and I’ll tell you how I drowned trying to retrieve them

I don’t want anything to hurt you darling, so much so that I’ll hurt myself

[lettersofanangel]

I hope to God,  that one day my daughter won't come home with her head in her hands, and her voice cracking. I'm praying,  that when I tell her of all the horrors I've seen,  she won't respond with, "Me too.

all i can think about today.