*everything in italics is in russian. just pretend okay.
The first time Bucky got zapped by a sharp current of static electricity after returning to Steve sent him into a catastrophic panic attack, borderline seizure fit. It wasn't just a small zap, it was a large enough shock that he felt it from his finger to his elbow, and it sent him right to the ground. And of course, almost all of the Avengers are there too see it.
Steve and Sam rushed to him, calling his name, trying to bring him back to reality. But he just laid there, mewling, whimpering, begging softly in Russian for mercy. Tony knows the signs of a panic attack when he sees one and threw Cap a couch cushion for his head. Clint and Pepper make quick work of anything on the floor around him, while Natasha coos softly in Russian to him. Tony ends up guiding the rest outside, they didn't need to see this, this was private.
"It's okay, you're okay, nothing is going to hurt you."
"Mercy, mercy, please, I'll do better, I'll do better. Mercy, mercy."
"What's he saying?" Sam asked as he adjusted the pillow. Widow looked pale and distant.
"You're name is James Buchanan Barnes. You are in Stark Towers in New York City. The year is 2014. You are safe. You are safe." The words spoken by Steve seem to penetrate the haze surrounding his brain.
"My name is Steve Rogers. I've known you since we were kids."
"Since we was kids..."
"Keep it up, I think it's working. Tell him a story. Remind him of your childhood."
"Uh... Uh... Okay." Bucky's arms moved from the floor to he air, as if searching for the voice. Steve moved his bicep over until it collided with the searching hand. The hand felt his arm tentatively then grasped it firm, rubbing it, as though the tactile feel of the smooth skin soothed him.
"The day we met, I was about 8 years old. I was the scrawniest kid on the playground, and the bullies were picking on me."
"Scraped knees.... busted lip...."
"He said scraped knees... busted lip..." Natasha offered when they looked at her.
"That's right, I did have scraped knees and a busted lip. And there you came, wavy brown hair and dark blue eyes, as cocky as I was scrawny. And I remember it so clearly, you went right up to the biggest kid there and cleaned his clock. Knocked him right in the face. All the other boys scattered and you helped me to my feet."
"Brought you home to ma. She cleaned you up. Told me not to cause trouble."
"Took me to your ma, and she cleaned me up. Tried to tell you not cause trouble."
Sam gave her a knowing look, Natasha nodded.
"She'd never seen such a scrawny kid. She thought I was five. She insisted on feeding me lunch."
"Almost killed you with her soups: allergies." He mumbled, his eyes were still shut, his hands still rubbing Steve upper arm.
"Almost killed me too, was allergic to half the ingredients. Not that it didn't feel good to have something warm in my tummy." He recounted, as though he had forgotten they had an audience. "I remember yer ma insisting on meeting my ma, and I remember my ma wasn't doing so hot that day and your ma made dinner. She even followed my diet so that nothing would kill me." He added with a chuckle. "They became best friends after that. And when my ma passed," he is cracked a little, "you're ma wouldn't see me out on the streets. No sir, she took me right in like I was her own scrawny little pup."
Bucky squeezed his bicep sharply. "Don't want to forget... I don't want to forget." He pleaded softly.
Steve covered the trembling hand with his own. "And I'm not going to let you forget. I'm gonna remind you of every scrap and tussle you got me out of till we're 150... and then I'll remind you again."
His eyes were still clenched shut. "They want me to forget. I keep on falling. I don't want to fall. I don't want to fall." He whimpered despairingly.
Steve's gut churned, he knew what fall he was talking about, it left him cold and numb on the inside. But he squeezed the hand holding his arm and brushed his hair from his face. "Even if you fall, I'm going to catch you this time, I swear."
It took a couple more minutes before his eyes fluttered open and he attempted to sit up, but almost fell back down, but Steve caught him, just like he promised.
"Wh-wha happened?" He asked dazedly.
Sam shook his head. "You must have gotten one helluva static shock from the couch or the chair and it triggered a massive panic attack."
Bucky groaned, resting his head in his hands, resting his shoulder on Steve even subconsciously. "It was like I was there. In the chair, strapped down, Electrodes...mouth guard... doctors... it felt so real."
"A flashback. They can be triggered by smells, words, pictures, people, in this instance, sensations..."
James groaned again. "I'd be happier never to feel that again."
Sam shook his head. "We're gonna do everything we can to prevent it? You okay to stand up?"
His legs felt like Jello, but with Steve as his anchor he nodded. "I'm good. Just a little shaky."
"What you need is breakfast." Natasha supplied. "Jarvis, tell the others the helipad is a dangerous place for sleepy heroes and do come back in."
"Will do, m'lday." Jarvis responded and opened the doors to the helipad.
The others filed in chatting with one another, as though they hadn't spent the last 20 minutes 80 stories in the air over Manhattan shooting the breeze as their new co-worker/amnesiac assassin flipped his lid in the livingroom.
No one mentioned it, in fact they all went right back to where they had been previously, reading books, doing research, eating, cooking, talking on their phones. It was pleasant and unexpected, though Bucky reckoned they'd had sensitivity training of some sort at S.H.I.E.L.D.
Only Tony approached them, as they took their favored spot in the breakfast nook. "Everything okay?" He asked with genuine concern.
"Much better. Thank you." He said leaning his head against the wall. He turned to Sam suddenly. "Is it normal to feel like I need to take a nap afterwards?"
"Short answer: yes. I would highly recommend it."
Bucky nodded, turning back to Tony. "I'll be better once I've had a nap."
Tony nodded. "May I ask... what triggered it?"
"Static electricity.... it was a little too much like... ya know..." he cleared his throat.
"Jarvis, have R&D get to work on making the tower static proof. And order this guy some rubber soled shoes." Tony looked down. "In black, with a red stripe."
"On it sir."
"You don't have too--"
"But I want too. Lemme do this. It's one of my things."
Sam walked by. "And he has many of them." He added as he continued on.
"After..."
Tony held up his hands. "You didn't know who you were let alone who they were. It happened, and nothing can undo it. But for all that my pop failed me, he always told me stories about you two... especially when he was drunk. And this is me taking on his legacy of taking care of you two." He put out his hands to keep them from protesting. "Again, one of my many many things. Just roll with it."
They chuckled as he left. "Was he like that with you?"
"No, far more... confrontational, but saving New York kind of worked that out for us."
"Ah... I'm going to have to 'google' that."
Steve shook his head. "You do that, and you may never leave the computer again."
Sam walked up with two plate heaping full of food. "Here, try it. I'm experimenting with flavor."
They both groaned. Nothing tasted as good as the food from their time, but that didn't mean Sam wasn't going to try.
They both started eating and stopped on the first mouthful.
"Too much?"
They shook their heads as they dug in.
Sam's eyes bulged and he did a little celebratory dance. "I knew it! I KNEW it! Granpda's secret family recipe does it again."
They both slowed down and looked down at their plates. "I knew I'd tasted this somewhere before." Bucky said softly.
Steve nodded. "I remember this stuff from the howling commandos."
Bucky nodded. "We were his.... for lack of a better word, guinea pigs."
Sam pulled up a chair and listened to them reminisce until they were done with their breakfast. There were stories they could tell Sam that he had never heard about, and for that he would forever be grateful.
After breakfast Bucky crawled back into bed, but someone knocked at the door. "Yeah?"
Steve opened the door. "Got room for one more?"
"You don't have to..."
"Watching you go through that... it wasn't easy for me by a long shot. I could use a nap myself."
Bucky patted the bed and Steve joined him. Bucky turned on his side and Steve spooned behind him.
"Is this okay?" Steve asked sleepily. But he got no reply, as Bucky had already drifted off to sleep.
