From the Sun to the Stars
Its approximately 1:30am but I dont have to work tomorrow so I have a small gift for you. Mistakes are mine unbeta'd perusual. Been in a bit of a rough headspace the last few days so I thought I'd make it into something productive.
PrePP3 Beca and Chloe have a small apartment in NYC and have been dating since Beca and Jessie broke up appx 6months ago. Beca has anxiety and a horrible day at work
Beca felt the side of the bed dip and a cool hand pressed to her face before she registered Chloe had even walked in the front door. She'd had a panic attack. A lovely byproduct of her anxiety that reared its ugly head every now and then especially after a day like today.
She had slaved over an arrangement for a week trying to get the sound right for a very high profile client and just when she thought she had it, they ripped it to shreds right before her eyes. Hated every beat, every back up vocal, every harmony she had worked so hard to produce. She quit, stormed out of the studio and thankfully, made it home before the panic took over.
Doubt crept up from the back of her mind and took over her small frame like a looming shadow, she dug her fingers into the bathroom counter staring into the mirror.
Nothing you do is good enough.
Why cant you do anything right?
This is why no one wants you.
No, no, no. No.
Her brain scrambled against the flood but it felt as futile as climbing up a mudslide in the rain; eventually your legs give out and you're given no choice but to ride it out, hoping you're sliding down a hill and not a mountain.
She wondered into the bedroom, drew the curtains and curled up in bed reaching for only grounding object she could get her hands on; Chloe's favorite blanket. Winding it up in clenched fists, she buried her face into its familiar scent. The cotton soft against her cheek, took in every tear she had to offer without protest.
Beca wasn't sure when she'd fallen asleep or even how long she'd been out before she woke to the sinking of the mattress but she felt exhausted all the same. Like every inch of her had run a marathon and collapsed at the finish line. Chloe said nothing as she swept Beca's damp hair from her forehead, soft blue eyes taking stock of the broken girl in her bed.
Beca wanted to protest when Chloe moved away from the bed and out of the room. She called out to her muscles and screamed at them to reach for her but the just wouldn't. Frustrated tears welled at the edge of her stormy blue eyes as Chloe slipped back into the room a washcloth and water bottle in hand. She uncapped the bottle slipping a straw into the top and leaning over to Beca, eyes begging her to take even a small sip. Swallowing became her only goal and she managed four decent mouthfulls before her head fell back to the blanket beneath her.
She watched the crease in Chloes forehead soften just the slightest bit as she exchanged the bottle for the cloth on the bedside table. The cool cloth felt like ice on her overheated skin. Beca shuddered slightly, turning her head to look at Chloe directly. Chloe's gentle fingers rubbed away salty tracks from under her eyes, making sure to trace them all the way down her neck before tossing it to the floor and pulling the fragile girl against her chest.
Beca found enough energy to tighten a fist in the cotton of Chloe's undershirt, her scrubs haphaserdly thrown to the floor next to the damp cloth. Chloe's hands played with messy brown curls before stopping at the side of her neck. She watched the clock as she counted out Beca's pulse rate from the vein behind her ear, her thumb skipping gently across Beca's cheek. Satisfied with her findings she sunk down into the bed, looking Beca in the eye.
"Hey, pretty girl," a small smile pulled at her lips, her voice soft and quiet as if sound alone may shatter the small girl in her arms, "I know you're stuck in there right now," she whispered tapping Beca's temple lightly, "but I love you. From the sun to the stars."
Beca fought to push herself up, looking into soft blue eyes with a barely there smile she touched her lips to Chloe's. A silent and exhausted thank you past between them as she met Chloe's gaze. She kissed her again more firmly, holding Chloe's lips just a beat longer before ducking back into the safety of her chest, placing a kiss to her heart.
A light kiss touched Beca's forehead. The selfless love and warmth she felt radiating from Chloe's lips was enough to rouse her exhausted body. She entangled their legs, curling impossibly closer to the redhead as Chloe resumed her gentle caress at Beca's hairline, lulling her back to sleep.