I love your toji fics sm!!
they're just so cute (>v<)!!
makes me feel all warm and happy!
I was wondering if you could write a toji x shy!fem!reader, where their both healing together, and the reader has suffered a lot and can't handle loud noises (or loud people) anymore, due to the way her family treated her.
She knows how much toji's suffered under the zenin clan - they're just healing together.
Just small moments between them- like her reading to him (and reader gently forcing toji to read her favourite book to her - maybe she falls asleep on him?), or them learning how to plant/take care of a garden etc.
just wholesome, warm and fluffy moments 😊
(with a bit of angst due to their past, but like, only a bit)
idk, feel free to ignore this request - don't feel any pressure to write this!!
but if you do, tysm 💕!!!
whatever you decide, I hope you have a wonderful day/night!!! 💖🫶🏽
toji fushiguro x shy fem reader ᢉ𐭩
thank you anon for requesting this i love it!!! 🥹🥹🥹 im gonna be honest i raged for two hours at first because i didnt necessarily know how to excecute this as my brain has been less functional today...😒😒 i was so close to giving up but i REALLY didnt want to because i loved the concept so I DID IT YAYAYA!! ALSO THIS IS QUITE LONHER COMPARED TO MY OTBER FICS SO LOWK IM KINDA PROYD..mayahahahahs. tests havent been kicking my ass so i eas able to extend this fic snd make it better than usual (?)
you learned early that loudness meant danger, and not because sound itself was bad, but because sound always came with consequences.
your family didnt just raise their voices, they raised you, they raised you like a mistake. like something to be corrected. and every time someone yelled, every time someone slammed a door, every time a word was thrown at you like a weapon, your body learned to react before your mind could really even catch up.
you learned to make yourself small
you learned to keep your breathing quiet, to keep your thoughts quieter, to keep your eyes down. it wasnt a choice, it was more like survival. and it followed you into adulthood like a shadow you couldnt really shake
then you met toji.
he was rough, loud. he was dangerous. he was the kind of man people gave the sidewalk to when he walked by.
he was the kind of man your parents wouldve warned you about, the kind of man youd get in trouble for even thinking about.
he had scars you could see and ones you couldnt, a body that looked like it had been through wars and lost, but he didnt talk much about it. he never needed to. his eyes said enough, and his silence said enough.
he was the kind of man who didnt flinch when someone raised their voice.
but he noticed the way you went still at sudden noises, and the way you hesitated before entering a room, like you were bracing for impact. the way you kept your hands folded tight in front of you, fingers intertwined like you were trying to keep yourself from breaking apart
it made him stay close to you.
toji wasnt the kind of man who looked for perfect things, he just looked for things that mattered. and you mattered to him.
he had his own wounds. you could see them in the way he carried himself, in the way he stared off into the distance like he was always listening for something he couldnt hear.
you could see it in the way his hands shook when he thought no one was watching. you could see it in the way he never let himself relax fully.
the zenin clan had left marks on him too, and you knew them all. not because he told you, but because he wore his pain like armor.
but you were both learning the same thing.
healing wasnt a clean line, it wasnt a single moment where everything got better. it was small. it was slow and it was messy, it was always two people learning how to exist without flinching.
you always walked beside him, and he kept you close
hed make you hold onto his arm, or keep his hand on your lower back.
he was guiding you without pulling, keeping you close like hes making sure you dont drift away. his steps match yours, slow and steady, like hes choosing to move at your pace.
the world feels too loud sometimes, even when it isnt. every sudden sound makes your chest tighten, every sharp noise makes your body tense like its ready to run.
and when you pass through a door, hes the one who shuts it. always softly
like hes closing out the noise before it can reach you. Its not slammed, not loud, but just a quiet click that makes the world feel safer for you.
and you keep walking, with his arm still there, still warm, still holding you like you belong to him.
youre on the couch, book open, legs tucked under you, and toji is right beside you like he always is. his arm is wrapped around your waist, heavy and steady, like hes just keeping you anchored to the moment.
hes staring at the ceiling, eyes half closed, not really watching anything but just resting. his other hand is loose on your back, fingers rubbing softly like hes keeping time with your breathing
you keep reading, but your voice is quiet. Its always quiet.
toji doesnt interrupt, he doesnt tease you. he just sits there, close enough you can feel the heat from his chest, like hes sharing his warmth without even trying
you glance at him, just for a second, and then you lower your eyes again, like youre trying not to make it obvious.
"toji" you say, soft.
he turns his head, eyes flicking to you, and you feel your chest warm.
"yeah?" he says, voice rough but gentle
you swallow and keep your eyes on the page.
"can you read it for me?" you ask not stuttering, just soft.
tojis grin shows in his eyes. he doesnt tease you about it. he doesnt make it awkward, he just reaches for the book like its something hes been waiting for.
"mm. yeah.'" he says, and you feel your heart skip.
you nuzzle closer to him, pressing your shoulder against his chest, and he tightens his arm around you like hes claiming you without saying it.
he starts reading with his voice low and rough, but steady. and even though hes not the type of man youd expect to sound gentle, it comes out that way anyway.
the words blur a little, not because hes bad at reading, but because your eyelids are getting heavy. the warmth of his body, the rhythm of his breathing, the sound of his voice it all makes you feel safe in a way you havent in years.
and then your eyes close
you fall asleep on him, head resting against his chest, breathing slow and even.
toji keeps reading anyway, like he doesnt want to break the moment. his voice stays steady and soft like hes reading you into a dream.
and when his words start to fade into the quiet, he just lets you sleep and just holds you tighter.
nights where he holds you are the nights you sleep best.
because some nights you cant sleep
not because you dont want to, but because toji is out late again, and the apartment feels too quiet without him and the silence is heavy, like its waiting for something to happen
you know you shouldnt stay up.
you know you should let him come home without you watching the clock
but you just cant help it
you lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, listening to the building breathe, the radiator clicks, a car passes outside and a distant laugh from somewhere down the hall.
every sound makes your chest tighten
you roll over, face to the pillow and you pull the covers up to your chin like they can protect you.
you keep checking the door even though you know hes coming back. you keep imagining him walking in tired and rough and alive, like he always does.
and then the lock finally turns.
toji steps inside like hes been away for years.
hes quiet, like hes trying not to wake you. his jacket hangs off one shoulder, and he looks like hes carrying the night on him.
in his head, when hes out, all hes looking forward to is coming home to you. not the bed, not the apartment
but you
he thinks about the way you look when youre waiting. the way your shoulders tense, he thinks about how you always wait up, even when he tells you not to.
he thinks about how you dont deserve that kind of worry. he thinks about how much he loves you, and how he hates that you have to feel scared for him.
he doesnt say anything. he just drops his keys on the counter and moves like hes been moving all day, heavy and tired.
you watch him go to the bedroom, already pulling his shirt off and already letting his body relax into the fact that hes home
and even though you know you should stay in bed, you cant
you shuffle after him, bare feet silent on the floor.
you follow him into the bathroom like a little shadow, small and quiet, because you need to stay near him.
you stand in the doorway, just watching him.
your hair is messy, your pajamas a little too big, and your cheeks are flushed from waiting. youre cute, so cute to him.
toji glances at you, and you feel your heart jump.
he doesnt say anything. he just steps closer, and his hand reaches out like its natural, sliding over your waist to pull you in where he can kiss you.
you step closer, leaning into him like youre a magnet.
you lean in, pressing a shy kiss to his cheek.
that makes him hum contentedly.
toji holds you for a second, his hand rubbing your back over the soft fabric of your pyjamas, and then loosens his grip and pats your back in a silent way that tells you to move.
"go back ta' bed" he says, voice rough but soft
you blink, but you dont argue. you just stand there for a moment, watching him. then you shuffle back to the bedroom, heart still racing.
you crawl under the covers again and wait.
and you hear the bathroom door close again.
a few seconds later, you hear his footsteps again. heavy and consistent. you feel the bed dip beside you. and toji slips in quietly.
he pulls you close, wrapping his arms around you like hes making sure you stay safe. you turn around, immediately seeking his warmth as you nuzzle into him, sighing in relief.
tojis hand rubs the gap between your shoulder blades, his eyes soft as he glances down at your face.
toji watches you for a second, like hes deciding if he should be mad. and then he sighs, his voice low. "dont want ya stayin' up at night" he says.
you stay quiet, like youd been caught or something.
toji leans in, just enough to press his lips to your head, quick and soft.
"dont want ya to do that" he repeats, voice low. "you know it aint good for ya. you hear me?"
you nod again, eyes squeezed shut, and he replies with a pleased sound.
and it settles like that, you warm and tucked against him as you sleep.
and then theres those other days.
you stand on the balcony with your hands folded in front of you, staring at the small patch of dirt like its something you shouldnt be asking for
toji leans against the doorframe, arms crossed, watching you with that half smile he gets when he thinks youre being cute without knowing it. hes quiet, but you can feel him waiting.
"what you starin’ at?" he asks, voice rough like gravel.
you swallow, cheeks pink, eyes dropping to the ground.
"the…the plants" you say quietly like youre afraid hell just laugh.
tojis eyes soften, just a little, like hes surprised you want something so simple.
"you want me to do it?" he asks, voice rough.
you shake your head barely, shyly "i wanna do it with you"
toji blinks, surprised, like he didnt expect that, and then he laughs, low and amused.
"ya want me to garden wit you?" he says, like its the dumbest thing hes ever heard.
you frown, small and shy "..yes"
you can feel a pit form in your stomach, you feel stupid for even suggesting it. "..we dont have to." you murmur.
"nah" toji replies, immediately noting the shift in your expression.
"we'll garden, yeah? flowers n everythin. whatever my angel wants"
toji wraps his arm around your waist without thinking, pulling you close, and you lean into him, shy but smiling, nodding at his words.
the next day youre back on the balcony, holding a small bag of soil and a few pots like its something youre nervous to touch.
tojis already there, leaning on the railing, watching you like youre the only thing he cares about.
you kneel down and start digging, careful, trying not to mess it up, and toji kneels beside you without a word, close enough that your shoulders touch.
you plant the seeds together, side by side, hands brushing in the dirt like its the most natural thing in the world.
toji wraps his arm around your waist without thinking, pulling you close, like he needs you there to make sure this is real.
toji doesnt let you smoke, he doesnt let you linger when the people he knows get too loud or too rough, voices loud with things better left unsaid. he never says it outright but you know why.
he doesnt want your hands smelling like ash. doesnt want you staying up late just because he does. he wants you untouched by the parts of him that never healed right
most nights, he tells you to go to bed, he tells you he'll br there soon. and you listen, even when your chest tightens at the noise through the walls, even when the neighbors argue and the street never really sleeps.
but tonight he comes home early and wrecked, shoulders tight and jaw set, moving like every step costs him something. he doesnt say much. just fills the tub and sinks into it like the heat is the only thing holding him together.
you hover in the doorway for a second, book tucked to your chest, and then quietly you step in.
he notices right away, lifts his head, his eyes tired.
"angel, go lay down. ill be a minute"
you just shake your head and step closer
"can i stay, just here" you gesture to the floor, the book "i dont wanna be in the room.
he exhales through his nose, already knowing hes losing this one.
"you aint gotta sit on tile for me."
you sit anyway.
the bathwater laps softly against the porcelain. the noise outside dulls, and you open your book and read, voice low, steady. his shoulders loosen inch by inch.
he leans his head back, eyes closing, like he finally lets himself rest because youre there to witness it.
sometimes he comes home early with something special, like a thick slab of meat he couldnt resist buying. and you feel your chest warm because hes thinking of you even in the smallest ways.
other nights, he just takes you out, doesnt matter if it’s a fancy place or a cheap food stall, hes just happy as long as youre there with him. and youre happy too, because its not about the food. its about the fact that he comes back, and its about the way he stays, and thats all you ever wanted.
you love each other in a way that feels like a quiet promise, even when the world around you both is loud and cruel.
he loves you like youre the only thing that makes sense, like every rough part of him smooths out when youre near. and you love him the way you breathe.
Its not perfect and its not clean. its messy and bruised and real, but its yours. and even on the days when the past tries to pull you both under, you still find each other again, like youre meant to keep holding on.
I may have not been able to write it just like you wanted...i feel as if it couldve maybe been sweeter and more wholesome (?) but idk man this is what my head was able to produce LMAO. also i fear the angst was all clumped together at the beginning of the fic so maybe i didnt really combine it throughout the rest of the writing but yk what its chill okay...
