I am in love with Piper McLean. I think about what would happen if I ever had to fight Jason for her. Ofcourse there’s a higher chance of him winning, you know, with the lightning and everything. But I reckon that if I wore a one of those sumo outfits I’d win. But the catch is that it would be made of rubber.....You see where I’m going with this? It wouldn’t affect me right. Becuase physics and insulation? Then we’d resort to brute force because he’d be trying to best me and all. But see he’d punch me and the rubber would absorb his impact! If I fell backwards I’d just bounce back up and knock him right back (is that how physics works?) then I’d sit on him and roll all over him over and over until he’s knocked out before presenting the Godiva chocolates and cherokee friendship bracelets to Piper, who’d be looking at me very angrily, but would cease to be once she tastes the Godiva chocolates and notes my excellent craftsmanship (as she examines my braclets). I think she’d try her charmspeak in attempts to get me to stop pulverizing Jason but (I think you know where I’m going with this)...Rubber ear blockers.
Moral of this story is that I’m a very jealous, human being that would very much like to live in the Percy Jackson universe. Piper would probably slice into me with Katoptris. Or she could create more Godiva chocolates with the horn of plenty. Depends on how hot I’d look pulverizing Jason.