It's my birthday. Yay.
So…
It’s my birthday today, yup, officially 20 yrs old now. I am no longer a teenager, and to be honest I feel as if nothing has changed… I am also sitting on the toilet while writing this, to much information? I don’t think so hun. Actually I just laughed out loud at that, hah! What a loser sitting on the toilet and writing in her diary on her birthday!
So.. birthday… I don’t know what is wrong with me, but this year and last year I really felt sad on my birthday, this year I have not yet cried, which is good. Last year I cried a lot on my birthday, and I nearly did this year too… I was fearing that a tradition was built, but I’ll go to bed early to avoid crying… yeah out-smarting myself over here!! Can I get someprops? What whaaat gangstaa.
Maybe it’s a fear of getting older… or maybe I’m just fucking weird. Birthdays are supposed to bring the family together in celebration of the birth of a loved one… but I always feel that my birthday distances me from my family. Like I will get all melancholy on my birthday and think all the big thoughts, like, what am I doing with my life right now… where am I going… what is the meaning of it all.
So I just got off the phone with one of my brothers, he lives kinda far away so it was nice to hear from him. My other brother on the other hand completely forgot about my birthday… so yea…
Am I being ungrateful? I mean it was a 20th birthday and I got two nail polishes from my grandma, my aunt forgot my birthday and so did my oldest brother…
I should go to bed now… I’ll have to get up early in the morning and work 11 hours again. at least my cat still loves me, she’s the cutest right now… I think she senses that I am kinda sad and she’s all cuddly right now. So stay on your tippy toes blog, because I am working on a big entry that will sum up the last few weeks, and it’ll be pretty good to get that one off my chest. I’ll go to bed now to have this day over with as soon as possible. Bye. oh and also I love you dear blog, for understanding my pain today and my sorrow and happiness. It’s like you are me, that’s how well you understand me… get it? it’s a joke… because you are me, like we are the same… ha? Ha? Stop talking to yourself anna, it’s fucking weird. Okay so anyway, I love you so so much, my closest friend.