"The Weight of Your Gaze" pt 1
Summary:
Annie is a Queen.
A good one at that but theres one issue... She remains unmarried.
With a list of betrothals broken off due to her being a "difficult" woman to deal with by past suitors, her council-desperate to find her a husband hatch a plan to host a tournament for men across the land to fight for her hand in marriage. Two Mercenary twin brother's, down on their luck, see it as their moment to strike big. The biggest they've ever went to bat for.
Content: enemies to lovers, marriage of convenience, violence, peer pressure, manipulation, misogyny, sexual tension, slow burn, political intrigue
Word count: 2.5k
A/n: before getting into this just want to mention if a single word looked like "this", or "this" or both thats for emphasis.
If a whole paragraph is slanted like "this" then it signifies a characters inner thoughts. Just wanted to mention it to clear up any possible confusion. Ok bye now.👋🏾
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She was pacing with in the confines of her bed chamber.
Irritation was bubbling up inside her.
What was once a steady simmer was turning into a rolling boil that she felt growing under her skin.
Annie knew her Royal council meant well but this hair-brained plan of their's was beginning to take its toll on her.
The pressure to marry was to be expected of any woman part of the royal family however, an unwedded Queen?
The gravity of it was suffocating.
Annie was an even tempered and patient ruler. She made sure to keep her people's best interest at heart. She was loved and revered, but at some point love wasnt enough.
Being a Queen without a King had her in a vulnerable position and it left her people feeling less than confident in her capabilities of protecting both them and the kingdom.
Especially to those that already had a less than stellar view of a woman ruler.
She didnt make the situation any easier for herself.
Although her reputation as a ruler proceeded her, she was known as notoriously difficult to marry ever since she was of age much to her parents dismay, with multiple betrothals falling through.
She was not an aggressive woman, and rarely did she ever raise her voice, but if there was one thing she detested was having to play pretend. Past suitors claiming that she was too stubborn, too unyeilding, when all she was, was direct.
Those very characteristics that made those men view her as an unfit wife made for a great ruler, but Annie was not a wife.
She was a Queen.
A good one at that.
Her thoughts came to a halt when she heard the sounds of stitled footsteps echoing across the halls of her compound.
Whoever it was moved as if someone was trying to be discreet and failing miserably at it.
Annie paused.
Hm, that's new...
It was Ruth.
One of her new ladies-in-waiting.
She was short and svelte with medium brown skin. A young thing, not nearly a woman grown. She had a meek, shy disposition and given that she may have heard of the Queen's sour mood, she looked as if she wished the ground would swallow her whole at that very moment.
"M-My Queen, preparations for the tournament are almost finished. Are you ready to get dressed?", she stammered.
Poor thing.
Annie wondered who's idea it was to send Ruth for her knowing that she was young and inexperienced. She made note to address it later...
Her knee-jerk reaction was to put off the young woman but she had a soft spot when it came to the youth, especially children.
She took a deep breath, tampering down her earlier irritation and made note to soften her tone.
"Yes I am. Let Pearline and Mary know Im ready, thank you."
Ruth breathed a sigh of relief and scurried away to do as she was told.
Unlike her, Annie felt no relief.
Years of being able to put off marriage for it all to come to this? With the council forcing her hand to marry? So fearful of potential (non existent) threats that they didnt even care if the man was noble or not? As long as he presented a strong image then that was enough for them.
She didnt have her parents to keep responsibility-
Nor any siblings that could've taken the role as successor instead of her-
It was all on her.
Having a gathering of men from all corners to fight like dogs to go from nothing to gaining access to her, her wealth, her resources? It would only attract a certain kind of man, and none of it good.
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Mary, Pearline, and Ruth entered Annie's chambers with the outfit and accessories she was to wear for the event.
A soft, loose, and flowy pastel green cape dress that would hint a suggestion of her generous curves without having them fully on display. A teasing- but appropriate neckline coupled with a chunky golden collar necklace, thick bangles and thin bracelets, rings and other white, gold, and green jeweled accessories to be placed along her hair, arms, neck and ankles.
Annie stiffened when she saw the outfit. It made the situation feel more real.
This is really happening.
Sensing the Queen's quiet distress Pearline was first to break the silence.
"How you feelin'?" She asked gently.
Annie didnt respond for a beat. Simply stared at the two woman with a knowing look then turned around and wordlessly walked over to her vanity.
"-Ruth, I love your threading and braiding hairstyles that you wear to court. Would like you help me with my hair as they stage my outfit together?". Completely ignoring the question that was asked.
"Yes your majesty" Ruth chirpped, beginning to feel a bit more comfortable in the Queen's presence.
Although Annie could be stern, there was always an undeniable gentleness about her.
Pearline and Mary, sensing that the Queen was *still* not in a good mood, decided to leave that subject alone and quietly went about staging the outfit together.
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Once Annie was fully dressed, Ruth excused herself to take care of some last minute preparations. Leaving Annie, Pearline, and Mary standing in the middle of the room.
"Come on Anisa" Mary pleaded.
"It's just us now. You know you can tell us what's on your mind."
Annie let out a humourless laugh.
"I think you two already know how I feel 'bout all this...I know it was your idea to send Ruth to come and get me- I dont appreciate you usin' her as a buffer instead of coming to me directly."
"I was tryin' to-"
"Tryin' to what?"
Annie's eyes narrowed, brows pinched together, yet her voice remained even.
"Everyone's been walkin' on eggshells 'round me, and I dont like the fact that all of you feel the need to treat me like Im some child- like Im not aware of why this needs to happen. For as long as you've both known me? Seeing me through my highest and lowest? It's insulting."
Annie swiftly turned around facing away from the two women and began fussing with her outfit, checking for anything out of place.
There wasn't a single hair strand nor piece of clothing out of place.
She just needed to do something with her hands to distract herself from the fact that she revealed more about how she was feeling than she intended to. She wont make that mistake again.
Maybe once...When they were younger, and Annie didnt have the weight of the kingdom to bear by herself, she wouldn't have felt this uncomfortable itch underneath her skin when she felt like she may have exposed herself in some way.
But that was before. This is now.
And she cant afford to expose her vulnerable underbelly, childhood friends or not.
Not anymore.
Those days were gone the day the crown was placed on her head.
Whatever excuse that Mary was going to use died in her throat like a flame and Annie, the one who snuffed it out. Both her and Pearline shifted uncomfortably as she had cut straight to the point.
Letting it linger in the air.
Tension, thick like a fog blanketed over them.
Pearline tentatively walked towards the Queen as if approaching a scared doe with its leg caught in a trap. By all intents and purposes she was.
She laid a gentle hand on Annie's arm rubbing soothing circles into her soft skin.
"Annie..."
"We didn't mean to insult you by sending Ruth"
Annie let out a sigh. Deflating a little.
"Im not insulted by the fact that you sent for Ruth to come and get me ready. She a shy and sweet girl who's eager to please. Its why you sent her to me instead of coming to me directly."
"I know"
No deflection or excuse.
Just honesty.
Pearline understood why something as simple as sending Ruth to get her ready on such an important day would put Annie on edge. Them being not only her ladies-in-waiting, but her closest confidants. So to not be the ones to check in on her first on such an important day for her would put a bad taste in her mouth.
Annie would never say it outloud, but she would've wanted them to be the first faces she saw today. She craved their support more than ever.
They were aware of her soft spot for children, and sending Ruth felt like they were using the poor girl to make sure Annie wouldn't put off yet another duty for marriage.
Manipulation that was pointless anyways as Annie already agreed to the terms and conditions of this whole fiasco, and she always keeps her word.She would never admit to it, but their lack of confidence in her, using tactics like this? It stung...
Their friendship wasn't as it was once Annie became Queen Anisa. She became more guarded.
Pearline understood why, but she missed the Annie she knew before the weight of responsibility was put onto her after the sudden passing of both the King and Queen...
Interestingly enough, Pearline's upfront confirmation of Annie's suspicions made her feel a little relieved. Not much, but it was something.
Even for that, Annie was thankful for it. She was tired of people beating around the bush, talking around her like she was a child that needed to be coddled and coralled. She thirsted for directness and honesty like a man thirsting for water in the middle of a desert.
She grazed the hand Pearline had on her arm with the lightness of a feather before she fully grasped it, giving a light squeeze. Like the soft pulsating rhythm of a heart beat.
"I know that with my past betrothals, the council doesn't want to take any chances, but understand that Im fully aware of the weight of this and it's not somethin' Im taking lightly at all. Im not gon' go and shirk my responsibilities now- especially now- with a kingdom that I have to protect. I know what's expected of me."
After a heavy silence that followed, Pearline gave Annie's hand a firm squeeze back.
"Im sorry Annie", she at least had the decency to look remorseful.
"I know"
Mary walked up to the pair, and grasped Annie's other hand.
"You don't have to do this alone, we've been with you through it all, and you know we'll continue to be here for you. No matter what."
Annie didnt respond. She knew how unpredictable life was. Couldnt put anything past anyone as a normal person.
As a monarch?
It didn't matter who they were or who she thought they were, everyone was looking for an angle to get what was her's.
Her only response was to squeeze her childhood friend's hand, letting her know she acknowledged that she heard her.
She didn't believe Mary, but with how lonely she had been, she craved any sort of comfort that she could allow herself to feel.
Being surrounded by people she grew up with, yet feel so far away, somehow made the loneliness feel more pointed.
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On the way to the tournament, Annie's mind traveled elsewhere.
Of all the failed betrothal, she remembered the first one.
Anthony was his first name, she didnt remember his last...
His wasnt important enough for her to remember.
He was a tall, light-skinned man with freckles, light brown eyes and had an average build. Came from a well-off high ranking family and his parent's were close friends of her own parents, the king and queen.
He was....nice enough.
Annie found him bland.
No back bone whatsoever.
Apparently the most interesting subject he could think of was to talk about himself.
One thing in her experience she noticed, was how much these men only wanted to talk about themselves and be applauded for doing what they're expected to do as grown men with (supposed) responsibilities.
Anthony's conversations were as stimulating as watching paint dry.
He bored her to tears.
It left a bad taste in her mouth that nearly every single one of her potential suitors turned out the same when dealing with her. She was a woman who wasnt going to feed a mans ego for simply doing what he is expected to. Something these men were, most likely, used to dealing with being surrounded by yes men (and women). Praising every. Little. Thing. They do.
Hell, they'd praise a man of higher station for wiping his own ass if it ment they could continue to stay in his inner circle, and the attention starved lords, desperate for validation would eat it up every time, bolstering an undeserved ego.
Ha! She thought incredulously
No point in feeding something so damn fragile.
It was pitiful really, but amusing to her in a way. Watching Anthony twist and contort himself to put on a performance for her. Trying to see which mask he wore that she would like the best.
She hated every single one of them.
All in all it always ended the same, the patience of a man who begins to feel constantly disregarded can only go on for so long.
It never took much time though.
Many of her betrothals ended in the man taking offense to her lack of interest. Lashing out when they couldn't get the reaction that they wanted out of her. Claiming that she was being "difficult" rather than them being insufferable to be around.
Annie had no interest in playing make believe. Either they were a man who stood on his principles, and didnt falter at the first sign of conflict or they were a weak-willed, moody child who crumbled under the slightest bit of pressure.
And Annie had no time to deal with children who needed reassurance at every little thing. She'd be too busy running a whole kingdom to be bothered with taking on the extra job of catering to a mans ego.
And people had the gall to say that women were the emotional ones.
Hmpf!-
Annie wrinkled her nose at those memories deciding to brush them off.
She looked up into the sky instead, watching the thick, puffy white clouds pass by, carried by the gentle wind and warmed from the afternoon sun.
This will be the first time she is to be married to someone of a fighting background and not the pampered and controlled upbringing of a lord.
What kinda man would he be?
Whoever he was, Annie mentally prepared herself for whatever nonsense was to follow, cause this tournament?
There was no way it wouldn't bring the type of man seeking to drain her of her resources or try to take over what was rightfully her's, so she needed to be on her gaurd.
Than a thought came to her;
How would that be any different from the men she'd already been dealing with that were sucking up to her to get in her good graces until their impatience got the best of them?
At this point the type of man didnt matter. She was of the highest position of the land, and that alone would attract the same kind of man.
A man seeking to take from her with no intention to give anything in return.
Annie hadn't lasted this long by being a passive idiot and she didnt plan on giving anything up that was rightfully her's anytime soon.
Ever.
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*Edit: Part 2 Here
A/n: Im not a writer at ALL and I kept things relatively vague like timeperiod location etc. (Its kind of a blend of a bunch of different things) so if its...less than stellar. Then u know why lol
Also, if anyone else wants to be tagged that I havent tagged already, just comment that. (If you see me give it a like, just know that means I put your name down)
Ok Im done rambling now.
Somebody let me know they got the tag, cuz Idk if I did it right😭
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