You can change your tumblr username, that’s a pretty easy trick in most cases to stop hate messages, because your old username will display as “Deactivated”. I change my username frequently out of boredom haha. You’ll keep your followers etc, the name of your blog will just change, so unless your haters are following your blog, they won’t know where you’ve gone!
Another tip is to turn off Anon messages for your inbox, and set Messages to mutual followers only! You can even totally disable your inbox and the Messaging system.
If the hate is happening on a particular post, New X-Kit has an extension that will block you from seeing any notifications about that post, so you can set it and forget about it entirely. You can also delete said post.
Tumblr Savior can also be used to block people’s usernames, and of course you can block people using Tumblr itself.
DEFINITELY report hate that is abusive, tells you to harm yourself or others, or threatens you in ANY way. Anon messages are still linked to an IP address, so you CAN block and report them (if I recall).
If ANY of my followers are getting any hate, I hope this trick helps you!!
So I’ve been meaning to write this for a while (months, really) in response to a few people asking about dealing with receiving anon hate in a way that won’t make you spiral into a downward slump. Since obviously everyone is different and a lot of anon hate depends on what you posted to trigger it, this is NOT a “be all end all” guide. This is just explaining the most effective ways I’ve found of dealing with it.
That being said, let’s get to it! By the way, these are just in the order I thought of them. Don’t think of it as a step-by-step thing...
Look for mistakes. Not necessarily grammar/spelling mistakes (though that can work too; it feels surprisingly good knowing you’re more literate than the people sending you hate), but mistakes they make pertaining to YOU as a person. For example, most anon hate seems to contain homophobic language and generally masculine terms of address. Most of the anons I’ve had have made it painfully obvious that they didn’t even do the most basic of research about me. If you can spot mistakes like that, no matter how small they seem, that helps to create distance between what they’re saying and you. They are not talking to you. They are railing against their idea of you. An idea which is almost certainly wrong.
Tell someone. Even if it’s just the one other person posting on your dash. Tell someone. It externalises it and if they’re a decent person, the person you tell will come to your aid and show you that whatever hate has been sent was not deserved.
If you feel brave enough, publish it. Again, if the people who follow you are decent people, they will jump in and comfort you.
Don’t be afraid to block them. On any message that gets sent on tumblr, there’s a cross at the bottom. Clicking on the cross will block the sender, even if it’s an anon. Which basically means they can’t send anything else.
Keep telling yourself: if they refuse to use their true identity to say such things, they are nothing more than a coward. And they have no place to say such things. Imagine seeing someone wearing a brown paper bag over their head shouting in the street at random passersby. That is all anon haters are.
If you are triggered by something and the messages are tailored to fit that trigger - eg if you have had suicidal thoughts in the past and someone tells you to kill yourself - screencap the message and block them immediately. Their blog will show in your “blocked users” section. Report them. Use the screencap if you have to. Let people know. Do not suffer in silence. At the very least, find one other person and tell them about it.
Always be reasonable. Remember, you are the bigger person here. You are not the one sending hateful messages to people you don’t know beyond being a face and words on a screen. And you should be proud of that. So if you’re going to respond, keep swearing to a minimum - remember they want a reaction. They want to see you go off the deep end. Don’t give them the satisfaction. Be as passive-aggressive as you wish but keep it passive.
If it gets too much for you to deal with, if they keep on appearing, if it’s multiple people ganging up on you, get someone involved from “real life”. Parents, friends, family, your hairdresser...get someone else involved. Someone you see on a regular basis. Having a support system away from the online world can be a godsend...
If it does get too much, tell your login details to someone you trust - get them to go in and get rid of the hate before you have a chance to read it.
Know when to step away. There comes a point when you get too angry to remain passive and to keep hitting the block button. At that point, it’s time to retreat. Send your closest friends a message saying where they can find you, come out of your inbox, and log off tumblr. I know it can be hard, but you’re not doing yourself any favours. If necessary, turn off the computer, disable the internet on your phone and go for a walk or a drive. It’s tough but you need to physically detach yourself from the temptation to look at what’s being said. When the time comes for you to go back online, make sure you have people ready to support you no matter what’s facing you.
These are just techniques I’ve used in the past. Different things work for different people but hopefully at least one of these will work for you too. Basically, the best piece I can give to you is tell someone and remember, if they’re too cowardly to show their faces, then their opinions aren’t worth the time it took to write them.
Upon a hill across a blue lake, that’s where I had my first heartbreak. I still remember how it all changed, my father said: ‘Don’t you worry, don’t you worry child. See, heaven’s got a plan for you. Don’t you worry, don’t you worry now, yeah.
There were days when each hour was a war I fought to survive. There were nights full of nightmares, and I dreaded closing my eyes. There were skies that burst open with a downpour to drown me alive. But the world took a spark like a match in the dark, and the fire brought me to life. So I’m fanning the flames to climb so high, ‘cause there’s no other way we can stay alive ‘cause we’re burning bright as we all unite. And when it’s all said and done we’ll shine like the sun, so don’t let the fire die. And we’ll watch the sky as it fills with light. And though the embers are new whatever you do, just don’t let the fire die. And you’ll find there’ll be mornings when the ashes and embers are cold, but you’ll fight with a passion, and you’ll never stop ‘cause you know, yeah you know it gets better, and your story is yet to be told. Every push, every shove, every war, every love, yeah the coals are beginning to glow.
I just want a reason to hope, a reason to know that I should still be here. Maybe just a glimpse of the light, a patch of blue sky, something to believe in. I just want a reason to hope, a reason to hope, want a reason that I should not let go. I want a reason to hope.
There is a wall of silence in my way. What’s quieting the voices, I cannot say. Yeah, through all the wars I’ve fought in my mind, your eyes are the only refuge I find. Ooh so long we marveled at the spotlight, and never thought about the price we pay. When all the world around us slips away, hey, is there a place for us? Where flames flicker and wave for us? We can see the future and the dreams it’s made of. Hey, is there a place, a place for us?
Cross your heart and say you’re never giving up, that you carried on when every door was shut, that you live, you live with no regrets. We wear a smile to hide that we’ve been hurt before. Keep our disasters in a suitcase by the door. ‘Cause you know, you know we’re only human. So lay your hands on the left behind. Yeah we all know how it feels to be forgotten for a while. In a crowded place trying not to feel alone, just remember that we’ve all been broken once, so let’s love the broken ones. Yeah, love the broken ones. Raise a glass to all the words we never say. We do our best but still we look the other way, ‘cause sometimes it’s easier to run, ‘cause after all, we’re only human. Sometimes we’re left behind, feel like the only ones, but we were born to try, yeah we’re only human.
