I really thought i was an extrovert....or atleast that's what the school psychologist told me in high school, even though i was really sure, that I was an introvert.
But now here I am at uni and at the beginning I thought I have prettttty cool social skills and I got this, but now...
I don't know anymore.
I have like 5 or 6 people I talk to and I only meet them when I have classes w them. Like 1 or 2 people for each day.
And I see all the others talking in circles before and after classes, I hear the fun stories they share about the pub they went to together last friday and I realise that I'm actually not that social.
I find it impossible to just join these circles.
They feel like VIP clubs for the ones that actually deserve to be part of it.
And my friends from highschool keep telling me it will get better, but I know it depends on me actually trying harder....but the ones I'm talking to were hard to talk to too at first..
I thought I did a good job, but then I looked up to see everyone achieving the same things way better and at ease like it was something natural, easier than breathing.
I know I'm beeing dramatic.
I know it probably will be a atleast a bit better later on (i mean i hope it will get better).
But it's devastating.
I feel broken at times like these.
Anyways I hope I didn't scare anyone with this. I'm fine, it's just that I'm tired and I had classes with the people I know the least. It was really obvious to me during the whole thing that I wasn't as close to them as they were with each other.
If you actually read it this far, I don't know what to say...
I'll tell you a fun fact about me, that only you know, who read my ramblings about anxiety.
I really like orange tea. Add a spoon of honey and a bit of lemon juice and tadaaa, a nice cup of tea. I have multiple favs but today this tea brought me peace, so thank you orange tea:)