Since you are an amazing writter I want to know something, which do you think that would have been Cullen or *insertbearfootscar LI* reaction if the inquisitor had been the one left in the fade in Abyss? (I know that it's not possible due to story but imagine...)
He felt a fool. The Herald of Andraste was gone and a flask of lyrium cradled in his open palm. He should be mourning the loss of the only person capable of sealing the fade rips that were pouring out demons and creating orphans and widows across Thedas, but he could not summon any sadness for them. The wails of the Inquisition’s followers echoed throughout Skyhold’s courtyard and floated up her walls into his tiny loft along the battlements. We are doomed…Herald of Andraste….The Inquisitor…the voices cominged into one solemn cry, one doubled-over and broken body, one collective fist shaken at a cold void.
He turned the bottle over again in his hands as the sounds of mourning wafted around the room. Turning his gaze up , he willed the noise to jettison out of his broken ceiling and out into the lingering grey clouds. Up and away from here so he could think and decide.
He remembered the scent of her hair and inhaled deeply trying to conjure lilacs and thyme. His memory fumbled for the distinctive aroma, but it came up with only the smoke and rusty blood they’d left in Adamant. He had tried to rub its sourness from his nostrils during the long, empty march back, but only succeeding in chafing his nose raw. He’d found the tiny lyrium bottle in his pack during that trek, slipped its coolness into his hand, and rolled it around. Over this, he still had control. He could choose to drink.
Like when he chose to kiss her, despite the interruption of his man and the awkward beginning, he had let his instincts take over. He felt his hand upon her hip and his mouth against hers before the nay-saying inner voice talked him out of it. Her lips were chapped, but tasted faintly of strawberries, and oh Maker but they were warm and eager. His tongue passed tentatively over his cracked lower lip hoping her sweetness yet lingered. Again, he felt foolishness wave over his spine. Here the world lie teetering on the brink of devastation, and he longed for the urgency of her kiss.
They’d made no promises, no plans for any kind of a future, but when she’d pressed against him, he’d felt a semblance of peace he’d not known since leaving Honneleath. In that moment, he hadn’t been thinking about training the forces, securing their keep, or navigating the politics of weasely Orlesian nobility. Not about lyrium. Not even about Kinloch Hold. He’d had no thoughts at all, actually, just had been purely alive in a moment of tenderness with someone who seemed to care about him.
A particularly loud howl from the courtyard brought him back to himself with a start, and his hand curled protectively around the precious vial. His tender moment stolen from him, his opportunity to find peace once more ripped away, he uncorked the vial of swirling blue lyrium and let it slide and burn down the back of his throat. Hurling the empty glass against the stone, he rose from his bed and moved to the window where he could see the lamenting throng of people below. Her name remained on the mourners lips as they cried out The Herald…Herald of Andraste as though invoking her title might return her from the depths of the Fade. But that was not her name, so he added his voice to theirs in one final wail to the heavens; one final plee to return their salvation—his salvation—before the lyrium dulled the pain.
Trevelyan! he screamed until his voice grew ragged and weak.
Then Ruby, he whimpered into his cold, wet hands.