i feel burdened with the knowledge of jancy being entirely incompatible, and literally sabotaging each other from growing as people
i used to like jancy. i saw it happening. i didnt look deep at all. they appeared cute and i liked them individually as characters, so hey, why wouldnt they be together?
and then i discovered stonathan and i LOVED it. perfect couple, insane chemistry. great. im a multishipper so jancy was fine to me, i could ignore it and agree that they were also good if someone brought it up.
i read your posts. i started to see that stonathan went so much deeper than i thought. this was a delight. it was beautiful. i felt like i couldnt stop winning, life was good, i felt on top of the world..
what i didnt know is the there was resentment brewing, because i was also understanding jancys flaws, an eye opener for me (despite how blatant it seems in hindsight). but everything was still fine.
its not like jancy is as bad as mileven, right???
bruh. i literally.. after reading your entire post breaking down jancy, reblogs and all (you know the one)
i can no longer stand jancy. i am a decent person so i keep opinions to myself. but... but i have all this knowledge now. this knowledge of why jancy doesnt work and stonathan does and i.. i cant do anything with it. im helpless. jancy haunts me.
and its crazy because they would literally be so good as friends. like platonic stobin. but no.. forced to pretend to love each other. damn
so anyway the ask is am i just taking this way too seriously? and how do you cope with the burden of this knowledge?
especially when someone brings up their love for jancy... THEY DONT KNOW WHAT WE KNOW!!!! or they do?? and dont care??? help
steve, this is also how i feel when i see jancy now. depression and yearning for jonathan byers (truth nuke)
also crazy that the fandom glorifies jancy in their mind, just like steve does LOL
Your story seems very similar to mine except I was even worse.
I also loved jncy once. I thought I could never say anything bad about them whatsoever because of perfect there were for each other, how well they could help each other out. I thought much like Robin in S4 that they were the power couple everyone should aspire to be. I thought there is no nonsense between Jonathan and Nancy as they are both mature and trusted each other enough that their storylines throughout the seasons don't need the constant reinforcement of feelings or reliance on each other like all the other couples seem to do.
Look if you feel like you've been delusional before know that I was also like that. I even tried to look for fics for them once but then ended up realizing that most of what I could find just listed them as a side couple to byler which ultimately made me stop looking.
Then I also started to like stonathan and felt so bad about it because how could I do this to jncy? Finally a straight couple that has chemistry and is so incredibly well written and all I could think about is pairing them up with other people (Or just Jonathan with Steve at first. Ronance came later.)
I even felt bad when there was a jncy break-up in a stonathan fic I was reading. It literally hurt my soul at first despite me usually being a multishipper and being able to deal with this.
So yeah. I've also been there. I know where you are coming from.
Then like you I also started to take stonathan seriously as a potential canon ship back in April last year after @bylerlipglances showed me their findings. What changed me was the fact that I knew bylers would eat all this evidence up if it would have been about their ship and I just thought that if it would have been true for byler, why would it not be true for any another ship? Get what I am trying to say? Just because all of it isn't directly about byler (but stonathan instead) doesn't mean that it's meaningless.
Then I also started to look at jncy more. In particular Nancy's behavior towards Jonathan in S3 and it felt like I was hit by a ton of bricks. The way I purposefully avoided to take all of their toxicity seriously just because I wanted to believe in them as couple shocked me.
Because the only kind of criticism I saw up until this point were some people saying how the narrative in S3 should have sided sided more with Jonathan during jncy's big fight as he also has some valid points in needing the job to pay for collage. From todays standpoint I wouldn't even say that the narrative sides with Nancy at all. It sides with their relationship. Everything the narrative does helps Jonathan and Nancy stay together regardless of it means for their characters individually.
I have however never seen anyone talk about the way Nancy actually treats Jonathan.
The way she knowingly destroyed his photos three times(!) or how she is ready to wreck his car just to be at work on time or how she doesn't listen to Jonathan at all. No one ever mentioned this and it also kinda deserves to be discussed as a topic separate from their conflict because no matter if Nancy was right or wrong she never had the right to treat him that way.
But looking at it now I feel it's also important to keep in mind that Nancy usually isn't like this. I think her behavior should still be addressed but also not blown out of proportion. She was in a really bad state in S3. Just like Steve was in a bad state in S1 and Jonathan in S5.
But anyway, how do I cope with it? I honestly don't know. After I felt so overwhelmed by all the stonathan content that is in the show but also gets heavily overlooked by pretty much everyone I just tried to get the word out as much as possible while still being respectful to everyone as I also didn't and still don't want to hurt anyone who likes the ship.
Let me tell you though it was also a pretty isolating experience at first (only at first though because I also met some really great people who discussed things with me, told me their thoughts or just left awesome tags under my posts; much love goes out to all of you!) because people who followed me for byler rarely engaged with my content anymore (which is completely fair tbh; I don't blame anyone) but also because last year pre S5 also wasn't a huge time for stonathan.
And yeah, I am with you. I also can't stand jncy anymore. To me it's up there with mlvn and rvickie. None of these really work. They all have similar problems and they are all the safe option to a more risky choice all involved characters aren't willing to take.
Jncy in the end broke up and yes you can consider it an act bravery on Nancy's and Jonathan's part and I am not going to dismiss that but here is the kicker: It was necessary to save their relationship. If it would not have happened Nancy and Jonathan would have started to hate each other sooner rather than later. During the break-up scene we already see them admitting to having done petty things to in order to hurt the other. As of this moment Jonathan still felt bad about doing it. If their relationship would have continued there would have come a time where he would have no longer felt guilty about things like giving Nancy's stuff away. Instead hurting Nancy like this might have become one of the few sources of (cruel) joy he would have had in his life and the same would be true for Nancy. It wouldn't just have poisoned their relationship, it would have also turned them both into very ugly and spiteful people.
I am so so so glad their break-up prevented this from happeing.
That being said, their break-up didn't necessarily make them happy either. It just got them into a position from where they could have gone for happiness but in the end did not. Much like everyone else in the show they also choose satisfaction over true happiness.
Their break-up only prevented them from living a life of unhappiness. In fact it was more than necessary for them both to even get a chance to live somewhat normal lives that at least satisfy them. That tbh is such a huge thing to me like you would not believe.
Jonathan's and Nancy's relationship was so toxic that it had to be broken up in order for them both to not turn into complete assholes. Both can't even reach a basic feeling of satisfaction in their own life if they are together and yeah ... it's not a very popular opinion to have.
Most people don't see it like this. They think jncy breaking up comes out of nowhere but it's actually one of the very few things the show correctly foreshadowed since S2. Ever since jncy's first kiss.
Jonathan and Nanccy would have been better off as friends indeed. Friends who can support each other and uplift one another when they need it because then they could also engage with one other in a way where they don't need to scale back on their own personality or compromise on things they hold so dear.
They did went through a lot together and there is meaning to that. They could be platonic soulmates like stobin but wouldn't hang out as much as stobin does because jncy also bores tf out of each other.
They dislike what the other likes. They could never listen to music together and just enjoy the moment because Nancy hates Jonathan's music. (She only mentioned "The Clash" but I am pretty sure it goes further than that.) They both seem to love reading but again their taste in books is so different that they aren't willing to engage with the other's favorite book either. So starting a book club together is also out of the question. They can't even get high/ drunk together and have fun because they also disapprove of the other's favorite method of escaping from reality.
It is really no wonder they haven't spend much time together after S1 because there isn't really much they could do that is fun to them both.
I honestly don't know if you're taking this too seriously though. Bylers however are also sometimes pretty obsessed with mlvn and with taking their relationship apart. If you don't think that they're overdoing it, you're not overdoing it either and tbh not a lot of people are even saying anything against jncy. Most of the people who do are stncys and then there is me. It was admittedly kinda amusing looking through the anti jncy tag sometimes and seeing myself there surrounded by stncys who I also do not agree with.
Thing is while stncy is also pretty bad, people in general are at least aware of it and talk about it sometimes. I also agree with most of their criticism which then in turn also means that I don't have to talk about them as much. Jncy on the other hand is the one ship you feel like you shouldn't touch or criticize. The right choice next to a wrong one while they are in fact more like a choice between pest and cholera.
But yeah, how to cope with it? I tried to get the word out as much as possible but my blog is also pretty heavily focused on analysis anyway so that is an easy thing for me to do. Other than that you can talk about it to people who you think are willing to listen or keep it all to yourself. Or find yourself some likeminded people. You will however not be able to convince the masses.
I think most of the jncys don't know how bad they are as a ship. They just think of jncy like I (and you as well) did. Pretty cool and loving couple. Also better than stncy.
It's an experience like we're watching two different shows. (Although I am pretty sure that they feel exactly the same should they stumble upon my posts.)
Let me give you an example.
A while ago netflix released some new S3 posters and someone here on tumblr made a post about the one from the second episode as it featured Jonathan and Nancy. You can see the poster on netflix official instagram here. I am not going to name the op who made the post over here and I am also not going to link it. I want them to be left alone.
What I am going to say also isn't directly about op either, it's more about all the positive comments it got. Like people were happy they got jncy content which is fair if you feel like you're starved and you like the ship. No one however seemed to take an issue with the content shown to us which I find very curious since in terms of jncy ship representation netflix couldn't have chosen worse. (This though probably wasn't there goal anyway and overall it's still a good picture representing the episode)
People really do not realize what they're doing because if they would or had half a mind about taking their issues seriously then they wouldn't have been so happy about said poster.
The scene it is referencing shows us Jonathan noticing that there is something wrong with the rat. Then he tries to tell Nancy about it. She however does not listen to him at all and instead storms out of the cellar as she wants to follow her own lead. Jonathan then quickly follows. Just after that the rat turns into meaty goo.
If Nancy would have listened to Jonathan aka the person she is supposed to love and trust then her whole investigation could have been cut short because Jonathan was right. There was something wrong with the rat and they would have seen it if only they would have stayed a little longer. Likewise if Jonathan would have been more insistent on making Nancy stay and look at the rat instead of blindly following her, Nancy would have also gotten her proof much sooner.
See, what I am trying to say here? If jncy would have worked better as a couple or even as a team then their whole investigation could have been cut short. They did not work well together though so they had to go the long route instead.
It matters so much because it shows us what Jonathan and Nancy's relationship is like when it is just about them as people. No loved ones to be saved or to get justice for. No UD. Just real life which in the end should not be overlooked since Jonathan and Nancy have no aspiration to be monster hunters for life or want to see their loved ones in constant danger (Note that by S5 even the latter doesn't help them anymore)
This scene is so emblematic for what is wrong with Jonathan and Nancy in S3. Nancy doesn't listen and only does what she wants. Meanwhile Jonathan follows her every step without much protest even though he doesn't really want to. (Remember though that Nancy overall wasn't at her best in S3)
This isn't couple goals. It's couple failure all across the board and people do not realize this at all. Otherwise they wouldn't have been so happy about said poster or would have at the very least mentioned that there might be something undesirable here.
The jncy glorification goes hard and so many people are just unwilling to see how deep their issues go. This then inevitably lead to a lot of disappointment after S5 and their break-up which they had coming since at least S3 if not S2.
Nancy chooses Robin when she can which should also tell us something. The way Jonathan who is one of the most empathetic characters in the whole series can not even begin to give a f about Nancy and what's going on inside her in S5 should also tell us something. And no their avoidance of each other isn't because Vecna is pulling them apart. It's because they were both pressured into being a couple and cursed with loving each other in a way that holds no truth to them as characters and they are both so done with it.
All this glorification in the show also comes with so much pressure. imagine being Nancy and then being told that you and your boyfriend are a power couple but you hardly feel it and are instead kinda happy that said boyfriend isn't with you right now and you're also a bit angry at him since you suspect he's been lying but you cannot tell for sure.
Or imagine being Jonathan when everyone expects you to go to a collage you do not want to go to with your perfect girlfriend who you don't really miss at all even though you haven't seen her in a long time.
The conforming goes so hard with jncy it's not even funny but everyone is just unable to so it.
Their entire relationship could be a very interesting study of a couple who was doomed from the start and then had to stay together due to circumstances and expectations of others. Too bad that so few people see them that way.
But also thank you so much for sharing your story and your thoughts with me. Trust me, I know how it feels. Jncy haunts me as well because no matter what their story still dominates the overall storyline and as such it cannot be ignored.
