I know it’s been over a year now since season 4 of Stranger Things came out but I still have a lot of thoughts so here goes— this is why I think Jon and Nance aren’t working so well together anymore.
When they introduced the concept of these two as a couple in season 1, it was supposed to be Nance’s act of rebellion, Jon was the Bender to her Claire from The Breakfast Club. The sterotypical 80’s romcom where the edgy or nerdy or in some way an outcast “good guy” gets the popular, beautiful girl, who acts how society wants her to act except when she’s with him. That’s what they were supposed to start as. But being a show with multiple seasons, we got to see what happens after the initial attraction and subsequent hookup between the princess and the outcast.
They don’t always actually fit together.
When they both had their time to grow into the people they’re going to become, they make it abundantly clear that sure, they care for each other, but they don’t want the same things, and don’t really care about putting their partner’s needs above or even on the same level as their own.
This is first shown in season 3 before anything otherworldly crashes into their lives again. They start the season in a place where Will is safe, the Upside Down doesn’t seem to be looming, and they can carry on like normal teenagers. But now that they don’t have a common enemy, now that they’re not both fighting against the system, they don’t get along anymore. Jon has and will always put his family first. Nance has and will always put her desire to find the truth and fight evil first. Neither of them is inherently wrong in what they want— they just conflict with each other.
When Jon’s family is safe and there’s no apparent threat, he is content to just live his life. He doesn’t care about their bosses treating Nance like an errand girl and not taking her seriously as a journalist, even though they’re apparently giving Jon free reign to do what he likes to do as a photographer. And alternatively, Nance doesn’t care about risking both her and Jon’s jobs by pursuing a story to expose the truth, even if it could cost Jon his income when she knows he and his family could use it.
“I guess we don’t understand each other.”
Then after approximately 7 months together, after hooking up at Murray’s, saving Will from the Mind Flayer, going back to life and fighting through a summer internship together, Jon and the Byers are moving across the country but they believe what Murray told them, they don’t need anything else, they’ve got ‘shared trauma’ that will keep them together.
Fast forward to season 4, now they’ve been together for 1 and 3 months total, with more than half of that being long distance— and the cracks in their relationship they were seeing before while they were still in the same town, are growing even wider while they’re apart.
The only parts of their relationship— and each other, quite frankly— that they talk about loving are how Nance or Jon loves what they’re passionate about, and not actually what they love about each other. Jon is kind and protective and will always do what’s right… when it comes to his family. Nance is driven and smart and will never back down… when it comes to pursuing her goals.
While Jon and Nance both venting to Argyle and Fred respectively about their relationship, they’re both just naming traits that are admirable in the other, but nothing about how those traits reflect towards them in their relationship. They admire each others character, but none of it shows in their relationship with each other.
And it’s not a bad thing that they were friends, through circumstance or plain old attraction ended up hooking up and wanting to pursue their feelings for each other but sometimes those relationships just… fizzle out. And I think that’s exactly what we’re seeing here.
Jon and Nance and boosted by a variety of side characters as this perfect relationship, the gold standard… but nothing past season 2 seems to show why. Jon and Nance liked each other, but the most passion we’ve seen between them was in the second half of season 2 when they were hunting down the same monster. But past that, they were trying. And sometimes they were really cute, but throughout season 3 and into season 4, they were fizzling out. Even Jon agrees he’s trying to “slow motion break up” with her. Not because she did anything wrong or he did, but they just don’t want the same things anymore. And Jon goes on about how miserable their future would be, ironically in the same way he told Nance she’d be miserable if she stayed with Steve back in season 2.
He thought they were going to be the gold standard relationship everyone makes them out to be, but now Jon more than anybody is saying their continued relationship would lead to nothing but resentment and unhappiness.
So it’s not a bad thing if they end up ending things in season 5, at this point, it seems inevitable.
