“Feminism isn’t for everyone! Stop coddling men!”
Honestly? The people I’ve actually been having to coddle lately are the cis women saying these things. Literally all I have been saying is that excluding men from feminism and openly hating them, openly considering them the enemy for the way they were born, hurts the feminist cause in addition to hurting men.
But over and over again I have to hold these cis women’s hands and walk them through the very very basics of feminism, all while reassuring them “it’s okay, I’m not blaming you, I’ve been hurt and traumatized by men too, you aren’t responsible for this.” Meanwhile they’re calling me a dirty evil man who sees all women as walking babymakers who need to serve and tend to men (not even exaggerating, unfortunately), when I’m not even a man in the first place.
In reality, men are not causing harm by existing, while these cis women are genuinely causing harm by openly despising them. I’ve seen how many trans guys refuse to come out, delay their transition, or detransition (as I very nearly did myself) because of man-hating sentiments and people refusing to see that we are affected by sexism. This harms cis men, and it also harms trans women and transfems who get seen as men (either by transphobes or because of how they’re perceived, including closeted trans women/fems). Additionally, it hurts the feminist cause and fight against sexism to drive away half the population from supporting us.
At this point, these folks can talk to the wall, I am not arguing anymore. I will leave that vital work to those with more energy and patience for it than I currently have after being called a misogynist so many times. I will continue to engage in feminism, but I will focus on antisexism first and foremost.
