#antoimnerambles

[antoimne]

I am the way that I am cause ever since I was a kid I used to beg my mom (say every day, for the entirety of kindergarten and probably some elementary too) not to forget me, forget to come pick me up and cling cause I was afraid of being forgotten.

‘Tell the people at work you have a daughter to pick up blah blah waaaaaaa’

AND THEY HAD TO PHYSICALLY DRAG ME AWAY

Dramatic bitch

[antoimne]

Hey I’m sorry for the low activity. I planned on posting the infection AU sooner, but unfortunately I’ve had a loss in my family just last week.

My grandfather passed. There are so many things I’d like to say but I genuinely feel tired, I don’t even know why I’m posting this (#cringing)

I feel selfish even crying tbh like at the end the biggest loss was my moms I am so selfish; Yet he was one of the people I’ve basically grown with for all the 20 years of my life, you know spending kore time with your grandparents as a kid and seeing them more that ur parents when they worked

I’m not even sad right now just very nostalgic, like the feeling that’s a mix of sadness and a sort of happiness for all the memories I’ve had the honor to have. Maybe regret for thing I could’ve done more and better, no maybe I am still sad

I’m going to miss a lot of things like everyone usually does when they lose a stable ground

It has been a very weird and depressing time I don’t even know how to explain it

This all, just cause I wanted to say I’m sorry and I will try to start being a little more active again :) (plus classes started again and it doesn’t help)

[antoimne2-0]

found my old phone with like all my old messages and it’s so weird like, now I’m the most avoidant person ever but I used to be so pathetic and clingy and literally BEG for affection anywhere I could cause I just wanted to feel loved 🫩

beg to be cared for and appreciated #idiot

like genuinely cling to people I met 5 minutes prior Bro what the hell

Anyway, in one of these j deadass got left on read too, fuck my stupid Baka life