Love is a drug that I can’t deny
Anton x reader , fluff , angst , friends to stranger to lover , angst with comfort , kisses , mentioned of insecurities
, preview : Anton is an Olympic athlete and reader is his friend aka his manager aka his physical therapist. Anton have liked her for more than a year but how will he face the truth ? How will reader realize her feeling ? 9k words
Request are open , tag list open for riize or cortis or both .!
Some people enter your life loudly.
Anton Lee didn’t.
He entered Y/N’s life the way water seeps into cracks—quietly, steadily, until suddenly he was everywhere.
They met during their first year of university.
She was nineteen, juggling anatomy textbooks, late-night lab reports, and a future she was still trying to understand. Physical therapy wasn’t just a major for her—it was a promise she made to herself. To learn how to heal. To learn how to keep people standing when their bodies wanted to give up.
Anton was twenty, already living two lives.
On campus, he was just another student with damp hair and tired eyes, always carrying a duffel bag that smelled faintly of chlorine. In the pool, he was something else entirely—disciplined, relentless, chasing a dream most people only watched on screens.
Their first real conversation happened in the university therapy lab.
Anton sat on the examination table, rotating his shoulder slowly, frustration written into every line of his posture. Y/N stood in front of him with a clipboard, professional despite being only a student herself.
“You’ve been overtraining,” she said after a moment.
He blinked. “My coach says I’m fine.”
She looked up at him then, unimpressed. “Your coach isn’t the one whose shoulder is inflamed.”
That made him laugh.
It wasn’t loud or dramatic. Just warm.
And something about that sound settled into her chest.
⸻
Friendship came easily after that.
Anton started booking his therapy sessions only during her hours. Y/N pretended not to notice. They talked during stretches and cooldowns—about classes, about sleep deprivation, about how neither of them knew what day it was half the time.
He learned she liked studying at night when the campus was quiet.
She learned he swam better when he was angry.
They began sitting together in lectures. Studying together in libraries. Eating together between training sessions and labs.
At some point, without either of them naming it, she became his constant.
She reminded him of deadlines. Organized his schedules. Helped him communicate with media when competitions started piling up. When someone casually referred to her as his manager, she corrected them at first.
Later, she stopped.
Being his manager meant she stayed close.
And staying close felt natural.
⸻
There were moments that felt too intimate for friendship and too gentle for anything else.
Anton resting his head on the table during late-night study sessions, eyes closed, trusting her to wake him.
Y/N tying the straps of his swim bag when his fingers trembled from exhaustion.
Their shoulders brushing as they sat side by side, neither moving away.
People noticed.
“You two are basically married,” one of his teammates joked once.
Y/N laughed it off. Anton didn’t.
He just looked at her, something unreadable in his eyes.
They never crossed the line.
Not because they didn’t want to.
But because they were afraid of what would happen if they did.
⸻
Anton trained harder as competitions approached.
The closer he got to the Olympics, the more pressure wrapped around him. Expectations. Interviews. Eyes on him everywhere.
Y/N saw the toll it took.
She saw the way his hands shook after races. The way he stared at the water long after training ended. The nights he couldn’t sleep, pacing beside the pool while she sat nearby, pretending to study.
“You don’t have to be perfect,” she told him once.
He looked at her then, really looked.
“But I do,” he said quietly. “If I want to keep this.”
She didn’t argue.
She just stayed.
⸻
The night Anton won gold felt unreal.
The stadium erupted. Cameras flashed. His name echoed from thousands of voices.
Anton stood on the podium, medal heavy around his neck—and his eyes searched instinctively.
He found her.
Y/N stood near the edge of the crowd, hands clasped, eyes shining with something dangerously close to tears. When their gazes met, Anton felt something loosen in his chest.
Later, when the celebrations faded, she guided him back to the training pool.
It was past midnight.
The building was quiet. Moonlight poured through the windows, painting the water silver.
Anton slipped into the pool, swimming slow, lazy laps. Y/N sat at the edge, shoes discarded, feet brushing the surface.
“You did it,” she said softly.
He floated on his back, staring up at the ceiling. “I couldn’t have without you.”
She swallowed. “You would have.”
“No,” he said, turning toward her. “I wouldn’t.”
He swam closer, resting his arms on the edge near her knees. Water dripped from his hair. His expression was open in a way it rarely was.
“You stayed,” he murmured.
“I always do.”
Something shifted.
Anton reached out suddenly, fingers closing around her wrist, and before she could react, he tugged her into the pool. She splashed down with a gasp, then laughed breathlessly.
“You’re unbelievable,” she said.
“You love me,” he replied automatically.
The words hung between them.
Neither laughed.
Moonlight reflected in his eyes as he brushed wet hair from her face, touch careful, almost reverent.
“I don’t know how to pretend anymore,” he whispered.
Her heart pounded. “Anton…”
“I won today,” he said softly. “And all I could think was—if I don’t do this now, I never will.”
She stepped closer.
Their foreheads touched.
Then their lips met—slow, gentle, inevitable.
The kiss tasted like chlorine and quiet longing and everything they’d never said.
For a moment, the world disappeared
Morning didn’t feel real.
Y/N woke up with the taste of chlorine still in her senses and the ghost of something soft pressed against her lips. For a few seconds, she lay still, staring at the ceiling of her dorm room, heart racing as memory flooded back.
Moonlight.
Water.
Anton’s hands steadying her.
The kiss.
Her breath caught.
She sat up abruptly, palms pressing into the mattress as if grounding herself. The world rushed back in—assignments, responsibilities, rules she’d lived by for years.
It was a mistake, she told herself.
It had to be.
Because if it wasn’t, everything would change.
⸻
They met again that afternoon.Not intentionally. Not dramatically.
It happened the way most painful things do—unexpectedly, in plain daylight, with nowhere to hide.
Y/N was walking across campus, bag heavy on her shoulder, mind carefully focused on anything except the night before, when she saw him.
Anton stood near the aquatic center entrance, hoodie pulled low, hair still damp like he’d just finished training. He was laughing at something one of his teammates said, but the sound died the second his eyes landed on her.
Time slowed.For a moment, neither of them moved.
Then she smiled.It was polite. Easy. Empty.
“Hey,” she said, like nothing had happened.
Anton stared at her like he hadn’t heard her correctly.
“…Hey,” he replied, slower.
They stood there, an invisible line stretching between them, thick with everything they weren’t saying.
“Did you—” he started.
“I have class,” she interrupted too quickly. “I’ll email you the updated schedule tonight.”
And just like that, she walked past him.
Anton turned slowly, watching her leave, something dark settling behind his eyes.he wanted to grab her hands . Ask her .
⸻
They avoided each other for days.Y/N became efficient. Professional. Distant. They don’t meet up at their usual place anymore .
She texted him schedules instead of calling. She kept conversations short. Neutral. Safe. When they were in the same room, she focused on her tablet or clipboard, refusing to meet his gaze.
Anton noticed everything.
He noticed how she stopped sitting beside the pool after his training. How she didn’t tease him anymore. How she called him Anton instead of the soft nickname she used when it was just them.
The worst part wasn’t the silence.
It was the pretending.
⸻
The tension finally snapped one evening in the private study room of the university.
Y/N was finishing up notes when she heard footsteps behind her—familiar, purposeful. She didn’t turn around.
“Are we really doing this?” Anton asked.
She closed her tablet slowly. “Doing what?”
“Acting like nothing happened.”
She inhaled sharply. “Because nothing did.”
That made him laugh—but there was no humor in it.
“You kissed me,” he said. “You didn’t pull away.”
She turned then, eyes flashing. “And you think that means… what? That everything changes overnight?”
“It already did before the kiss , when we were at the first year welcome party . The drunk night “he shot back.
Her voice rose despite herself. “Anton, stop. It was a mistake. Can we just—can we stop?”
Mistake.
Anton stared at her like she’d struck him.
“Oh,” he said quietly. “I see.”
She immediately regretted it. “That’s not what I meant—”
“No,” he interrupted, jaw tight. “It is.”
She shook her head. “I was overwhelmed. You just showed up talking abt that night a Kiss on another night omg . Emotions were high. It didn’t mean—”
“So I didn’t mean anything?” he asked.
Silence.
He took a step closer. “Because you don’t get to kiss me like that and then pretend I imagined it.”
Her hands trembled. “Anton, please. I can’t do this.”
“Why?” His voice cracked despite his effort to keep it steady. “Because I’m your athlete? Because you’re scared? Or because you actually regret it?”
She swallowed hard.
“I regret letting it happen,” she whispered.
His breath left him in a slow, broken exhale.
“Oh,” he said again. Softer this time. “So I was a mistake.”
“That’s not—”
“Because last time I checked,” he continued, voice low, “you didn’t seem like you were regretting anything when we were drunk at that party. When you stayed. When we… slept.”
Her head snapped up. “Stop.”
“Stop ? u are telling me to stop after not one but 2 times ? I kissed u 2 times and I have seen u 1 time , y/n “ Anton breath out as he sigh .
The word hung in the air. The word hang in the air.
“ Anton…” y/n raised her voice “It was a fucking mistake we were drunk “
“No you WERE NOT “ Anton shot back “ u vividly remember everything that’s why u r denying that’s why …that’s u told me u love me . “
“Anton , we can’t not rn not in this stupid life where urs is much better than mine and u have a ton of girl chasing after you Anton STOP “. Y/n finally said it .
“It was a mistake Anton lee now let me go” y/n sigh .
“No,” he said. “You don’t get to erase that too.”
She raised her voice then, panic bleeding into anger. “Stop, Anton! That was another mistake. I told you that. We both knew it.”
He flinched.
Another mistake.
“You’re really good at that word,” he said quietly.
She pressed her hands to her temples. “You don’t understand what you’re asking me to risk.”
“I’m asking you to be honest,” he replied. “For once.”
She laughed shakily. “Honest? You’re an Olympic athlete. I’m your manager. Your therapist. This could ruin everything.”
“So you’d rather ruin me?” he asked.
That silenced her.
His eyes searched her face desperately. “Tell me you felt nothing. Look me in the eye and say it.”
She couldn’t.
And he saw that too.
Anton stepped back, pain hardening into something colder. “Right. So I matter. Just not enough.”
“That’s not fair.”
“No,” he said. “What’s not fair is you letting me think—letting me hope—that I was more than convenient.”
Tears burned her eyes. “I’m trying to protect us.”
“I didn’t ask for protection,” he snapped. “I asked for you.”
The room felt too small. Too loud. Too real.
She whispered, “I can’t be what you want.”
His shoulders sagged, like something inside him finally gave way.
“…Then stop acting like I was nothing,” he said.
And he walked away.
⸻
That night, Anton didn’t swim.
He sat alone at the edge of the pool, gold medal resting in his palm, staring at the water like it might answer him.
Winning had never felt so empty.
Across campus, Y/N lay awake in her bed, replaying his words over and over, guilt crushing her chest.
I asked for you.
She turned onto her side, clutching her pillow, tears slipping silently into the fabric.
For the first time, staying away hurt more than getting close.
And neither of them knew how to fix it.
_______
Anton stopped .
There was no dramatic announcement. No angry texts. No cold words thrown her way.
He simply… disappeared.
Not completely—never fully—but enough that the space between them felt louder than anything he could’ve said.
He stopped asking her to stay after training.
Stopped waiting for her outside lecture halls.
Stopped looking for her in the stands.
He was polite. Professional. Distant.
And somehow, that hurt worse.
⸻
Y/N noticed it in the smallest ways.
The way he no longer texted her good morning before early practice.
The way he nodded instead of smiling when she handed him schedules.
The way his eyes slid past her like she was just another person in the room.
She told herself it was necessary.She told herself it was for the best.But late at night, alone in her dorm, the truth crept in.
She missed him.
Not the athlete.
Not the medalist.
Him. The one that got away .
She missed the way he hummed absentmindedly while stretching. The way he complained about cafeteria food. The way he trusted her with the quiet parts of himself. Maybe even the loud part of himself .
And slowly, painfully, she realized something she’d been avoiding for years.
She wasn’t protecting herself from losing him.
She was protecting herself from admitting she loved him.
⸻
The breaking point came on a Thursday afternoon.
Y/N walked into the aquatic center with her tablet tucked under her arm, already mentally running through her checklist. She stopped short when she saw him.
Anton was sitting on the benches near the pool, towel draped around his shoulders, laughing.
And beside him sat a girl Y/N didn’t recognize.
She was pretty—effortlessly so. Long hair pulled into a loose ponytail, legs crossed casually as she leaned in close, clearly comfortable in his space. Her hand rested on his arm.
Too comfortably.
Something sharp twisted in Y/N’s chest.
Anton smiled at the girl—not his soft, private smile, but close enough that it still hurt to see.
Y/N turned away before he could notice her staring, heart pounding uncomfortably hard.
Why does this hurt so much? she thought.
You told him to stop. You pushed him away. It’s your fault , right? But it was for the best . He was becoming the champion.
So why did it feel like she was being replaced?
⸻
That night, she didn’t sleep.
She lay awake staring at the ceiling, memories replaying relentlessly.
Moonlight on water.
His hands steadying her.
His voice cracking when he asked what they were.
She pressed her palm to her chest, breath shallow.
“Anton I still love you “she whispered into the dark.
Saying it out loud felt terrifying.
And freeing.
And unbearably late.
⸻
Anton, meanwhile, was miserable.
Pulling away hadn’t made anything easier. It hadn’t stopped him from thinking about her during every race, every rest, every quiet moment.
The girl from the pool—Mina—was a fellow athlete, friendly, kind, and uncomplicated.
She laughed at his jokes. Asked him about his training. Didn’t look at him like he was something fragile she was afraid to touch. Didn’t look at him like a mistake.
And yet.
When she leaned in, Anton found himself thinking of Y/N’s laugh. When Mina asked him out for coffee date , he hesitated.
“I’m not really in the right place,” he admitted.
Mina smiled gently. “You’re waiting for someone else.”
He smiled politely.
He didn’t deny it.
⸻
The confrontation happened late.
Of course it did.
The pool was nearly empty, lights dimmed, water still. Y/N stood at the edge, heart hammering as she watched Anton swim slow laps alone.
She hadn’t planned what to say.
“Anton,” she called softly.
He stopped mid-stroke, turning toward her. For a moment, neither spoke.
“You should be home, it’s late . Relax your shoulder muscle “ she said finally.
“So should you.”
Silence stretched.
She swallowed. “I saw you with her.”
He stiffened. “And? What ? “
“And I hated it,” she blurted out. “Which isn’t fair. I know it’s not. But I—”
Her voice broke. Tearing up.
Anton climbed out of the pool slowly, water dripping from his hair. “Why are you here?” he asked quietly.
“Because I made a mistake,” she said. “And not the kind I kept calling it.”
His expression hardened. “I’m not doing this again if you’re just—”
“I love you , I am sorry . I shouldn’t but I love you “ she said.
The words echoed.
Anton froze.
“I’ve been in love with you for longer than I’ll admit,” she continued, tears spilling freely now. “And I was so scared of losing everything that I pushed you away instead. I hurt you. And I hate that. But you are becoming the best , I didn’t want to ruined your reputation or something “
She laughed shakily through tears. “I got jealous today and realized I don’t want a life where I have to pretend you don’t matter. A life where u exist as stranger “
Anton stared at her, disbelief and hope warring in his eyes.
“…You’re serious?” Anton smile softly
She nodded. “I’m done pretending.”
For a heartbeat, he said nothing.
Then he stepped closer, eyes shining. “You know how unfair it is,” he murmured, “that you get to say that now?”
She smiled weakly. “I know.”
“And you know I’m still upset.”
“I know.”
“And that I’m probably going to make you work for it.”
She let out a watery laugh. “I deserve that. I am sorry . Just reject me I will go away”
He exhaled, then smiled—really smiled—for the first time in weeks.
“No..” he said. “Because I’m in love with you too.”
Her breath caught.
“I always have been,” he added softly. “You just finally caught up.”
She laughed,with tears in her eyes., relief crashing over her as he reached out, cupping her face with gentle hands.
“This time,” he said, forehead resting against hers, “don’t run.”
“I won’t,” she promised.
They kissed then—not rushed, not desperate—but warm and sure and full of laughter when he accidentally bumped her nose.
“You’re terrible at this,” she teased.
He grinned. “You like me anyway.”
“I really do.”
He pulled her into his arms, both of them laughing quietly as the pool lights reflected around them.
___________
Gold didn’t feel so heavy anymore.Making it official didn’t happen quietly.
Which, in hindsight, made complete sense—because Anton Lee had never done anything quietly when it mattered.Y/N should’ve known something was up the moment he texted her:
Anton: Don’t leave the aquatic center today.
Y/N: Why?
Anton: Trust me.
That alone was suspicious.
She finished her class, heart fluttering nervously as she walked toward the pool, clipboard hugged to her chest. The place buzzed with energy—students crowding the stands, teammates hyped, coaches pacing.
Another race day.
She slipped into her usual seat near the front, eyes instantly finding Anton in the water. He looked focused, jaw set, shoulders rolling as he prepared. But right before the whistle blew, he looked up.
Straight at her.
And smiled.
Not his professional smile.
Not his press smile.
His her smile.
⸻
Anton swam like the water belonged to him.
The crowd roared as he surged forward, strokes powerful and precise. Y/N clutched the edge of her seat, barely breathing, eyes never leaving him.
When he touched the wall first—The place exploded.
Anton barely waited for the confirmation before pushing himself out of the pool. Water streamed down his face as he scanned the stands wildly.
He found her.
And then—
He ran.
Still dripping wet. Still barefoot. Ignoring teammates yelling after him.
“ANTON—HEY—”
Too late.
Y/N barely had time to stand before he reached her, breathless and laughing, eyes bright with adrenaline.
“I won,” he said unnecessarily.
She laughed, tears already in her eyes. “I saw that, yeah.”Then, right there, in front of everyone—He took her face in his hands and kissed her.
Not long. Not dramatic.Just sure.
The stands went feral.
Someone wolf-whistled. Someone screamed. Someone dropped a water bottle.
Y/N pulled back, stunned. “Anton—!”
He grinned, loud and unapologetic. “What? You said stop pretending.”
Her face burned. “You could’ve—warned me?”
He leaned in, whispering, “I just made it official.”
Her heart melted on the spot.
⸻
The aftermath was chaos.
“YOU’RE DATING?”
“WAIT YOU WEREN’T BEFORE?”
“I KNEW IT OMG REMEMBER WHEN HE PULLED HER AWAY FROM ME CUS I WAS SMILING AT HER”
“BROTHER IN CHRIST I HATE U ANTON U SAID U WILL GIVE ME HER ACC”
Anton walked around like he’d just won another medal, arm slung casually around her shoulders, completely unbothered by the attention.
She, on the other hand, hid her face every five seconds.
“You’re enjoying this,” she accused.
He nodded happily. “Immensely.”
“You literally kissed me in front of the whole school.”
“Correction,” he said. “I kissed my girlfriend.”
She stopped walking.
“…Say that again.”
He turned to her, eyes softening. “My girlfriend.”
She smiled so hard her cheeks hurt.
⸻
One night, as they sat by the pool again—this time dry, calm, and laughing—Anton glanced at her and said casually:
“You know, I think I won more than gold.”
She bumped his shoulder. “You’re cheesy.”
“And you love me.”
She didn’t hesitate this time.
“I do.”
And for once, there was nothing left unsaid.
Hi guys this is my first time writing for riize so! Let me know if u guys wanna get tag! For riize!.
