#anxiety_

[bytheanchorarchived]

s/o: *suddenly stops replying* my brain: *suggests a thousand reasonable explanations* anxiety: you did something wrong. anxiety: just like that time, remember? and what about these dozen others, i’ll make a list.

me: *sees s/o else’s portrayal be praised and singled out* brain: isn’t it great that we’ve got amazing portrayals of that char that matters so much to us? brain: we should follow them! anxiety: yours will never be like that anxiety: yes, follow them so we can see how much better they are.

[bytheanchorarchived]

so im going to be away this weekend from thursday to saturday night. winded, non needed explanation under the cut.

the long version is my dad is coming for his long time college reunion and wants us to go see him/spend it with him. i know i will spend the whole weekend listening to how i don’t have a job yet. i mentioned it to my mom today and she was like, well, yeah, they should. thanks mom. i was so anxious in lunch i couldn’t eat the food i cooked myself for everyone. this is gr8. this is fine. i wonder if i’m finally gonna be a human being once i have a job. or if another line will be set and i will be judged on WHERE i get the job, and on how much i earn, or what else more. or worse, i finally send my things out and no one wants me, like before when i was looking for an internship. yup. this is gonna be amazing. i want to literally rip my hair out with my fingers.

[lolabugge]

I really hate this time of year.

I mean, I love the weather and everything being green and fresh and new, but I can't deal with the ticks. And I live in NJ, so they're everywhere. I have a severe phobia of ticks, so much so that I can't deal with ladybugs being on my skin because they feel like ticks.

If I find a tick on me, I go into full blown meltdown panic attacks. Even just finding a tick on my dogs makes me feel like I have them crawling all over my skin. It becomes an almost unbearable 24/7 feeling. I really need to see if I can get on the sliding scale at my psych office so I can get some anxiety meds. I am not handling this season well.