#apeirophobia

[agustdeeznuts-7]

Having apeirophobia absolutely sucks, especially since i developed it as a very young child (i blame my principal, but that’s a story for another time). Why can’t I have a normal phobia :/

[eightballidiot]

The Apeirogon

(if equation broke go here)

The apeirogon (from the Greek word ἄπειροv 'infinite') is a polygon with an infinite number of edges. This post is about the regular apeirogon where all edges and 'angles' are congruent.

The apeirogon is best thought of as the end state of increasing the number of sides on a regular (convex) polygon. The interior angles get increasingly larger and the interior gets bigger and bigger if one sets the side lengths to be constant.

The formula for the interior angles of a regular convex polygon is given below where "p" is the number of sides:

$$180\frac{(p-2)}{p}$$

As the formula above approaches infinity, the value gets asymptotically close to 180°; therefore, the interior angles of the apeirogon with an infinite number of sides must also have interior angles of 180°.

$$\lim \limits_{p \to \infty}180\frac{(p-2)}{p}=180$$

If you think that sounds stupid, wait until you see the image of one:

Dealing with infinite objects gets pretty unintuitive, for any regular polygon with a finite number of sides, no matter how large that number might be, the sides always loop back around to enclose a finite hull. Nevertheless, this seems impossible for the apeirogon; it looks like a fucking line.

Now imagine if you took two of these things and mashed them together. You'll get the apeirogonal tiling:

There are two faces each connected to one another an infinite number of times on an infinite number of edges. 2 times 180° is 360° so there shouldn't be any room left. All signs logically point to it being a complete tiling of the plane, and yet it feels so stupid.

Don't even get me started on the prism.

[xeonnnnnn]

i hate life ☹️ not in a depressed way but because of how scared it makes me feel. like i don't want to die but i also don't want to live forever. what happens when i die and since i never come back what happens then, but if there's an afterlife i stay in there forever

im terrified of eternity and death and i hate it 💔

[sc0rpi01k]

6 DAYS UNTIL THE BACKROOMS MOVIE LETS GO

[autisticlavender]

Until sunday, I'll be playing Apeirophobia on roblox bc I'm bored and I don't have people to play with, soooo, here's my user:

happy0mod0

[verati404]

Apeirophobia sounds stupid from the outside: a fear of eternity, often accompanied comorbidly with the fear of death.

I can't make you experience what it's like, waking up (like I did just now) with the actual urge to scream and swallowing it, because it's the same urge you get all the time when your mind wanders too close to the edge.

If you've ever had the discomfort of a falling dream and waking up right as you hit the ground, it's probably the closest you'll get to understanding. Friends, that's still a pale comparison for its brevity.

You are falling—careening, always—toward your inescapable and inevitable End. It's always coming too fast, and it's been coming for you since you were young.

You think, "this can't be it," even as your mind attempts to imagine eternity without you, except it can't. It imagines a facsimile where the Heatdeath of the universe is ongoing and you're forever floating as a shade, a fading candle, and the enormity of your demise hits you just as hard as it did the first time many years ago. You are gripped with terror as these sensations and realizations cage your mind. You experience it over, and over, and over again. Your entire life.

Every time your brain idles too long on space, or darkness, or forever, or alone, without a concrete point, it happens. But it doesn't limit itself. There is no normal ptsd trigger for this, see. I can be listening to a song in my car and the wrong note or lyric makes me grip the wheel and laugh too loud in the empty cabin. I can dissociate in a grocery store without warning and grit my teeth while looking at a shelf, preventing myself from collapsing on the floor like some Victorian male hero.

I could be at a doctor's office. A friend's party. Anywhere, really, when the Panic strikes.

Apeirophobia is a fucking pain in the ass. And I've lived this way for 36 whole years.

Life is too short, and it feels even shorter when you have a panic disorder about it.

[reeve-in-a-suit]

Apeirophobia has got to be among the strangest dreads to be afflicted with. One day seven year old me thought “this eternity shit sounds AWFUL” and I’ve been a weirdo ever since

[ivebeenmade]

Just a me thing- but maybe you too:

There’s a specific kind of fear I haven’t seen named quite right, so I'm naming it for myself:

Apeirophobia is the closest real word — fear of infinity, of things with no beginning or end, but that’s not exactly how it feels for me.

It's more like:

'edge-loss anxiety'

or

'frame-of-reference collapse'

I'm not afraid of space, or aliens, or exploring the unknown. I want that. I want the tardis, I want new worlds, I want to learn everything.

What I can’t stand is the moment where there’s no “edge” anymore.

No outside, no container, no place to stand and look at it.

Like my brain reaches for a wall and there just… isn’t one

It used to feel like falling apart.

Like if i thought about it too long, something in me would snap.

But at some point, I stopped trying to solve it, and started letting it exist without needing a boundary, and that changed everything.

Now it’s less panic, more awe. Less “I’m losing it,” more “this is bigger than me, and that’s okay”

I don’t need the universe to have edges.

I just need to know I can still exist inside it without breaking.