#aph ger.many

[sparks-to-flames]

Angst for you and Germany?? 👀 I’ve come to deliver! I’m not the best with headcanons in general, but I love AUs. How about a hanahaki disease AU (I love those tbh) (glowing-selfships)

Sorry for the late reply @glowing-selfships. (Work and art block got in the way) But ooh, boy do I have so many angsty thoughts about us. But instead of headcanons, it’s fanfic. It’s my first published fanfic and it feels weird to write myself in a sexual/romantic way. I’m sorry if I wrote any of the characters too ooc. I’m not good at writing but here it goes.

BTW: Ayoka is my s/i.

Cobalt, Azure, Blue. Blue is the only color that is surrounding him. Specifically blue petals.

Wait, petals? How did this get into his room? Maybe his silly Prussian brother put this in his room in the middle of the night. But he wouldn’t do this low of a prank, right? Also he was very sick to even get out of bed. Before the man can get up and ask his older brother, he had this sensation of something soft and puffy coming up his throat. 

Hydrangea petals. This was the thing that come out of his body. This was the thing that surrounded his room. How did this happen? Hell, how was it possible for a flower come out of his mouth? Probably he ate something the night before and it wasn’t acting right with his body. And he thought of the previous night before, and all he remembered was eating boudin that his friend cooked for him. And he didn’t remember seeing anything blu- He coughs up the same blue petals at the thought.

The German quickly exited his bedroom and into the study without disturbing his sick, older brother who was sleeping the room beside it. He types up words that relates to his situation, ‘coughing,’ ‘coughing up flowers,’ coughing up blue flowers’. 

Nothing came up, Even after hours googling, no results popped up. He then turned the bookcases that were stacked in the study and tried to look for any books that was related to medical conditions. 

Book after book, oddly, he conveniently finally found a section about his condition. The page was dogged-eared. Hana-, Hanahaki?  Disease? This was surely a joke disease that was made up and was a misprint in the medical book. Coughing up flowers because of unrequited lov- 

He throws up the flower petals again. How can this happen, he doesn’t like anyone. 

Or at least he thought he did. The German grabbed the only book that he had on hand that was about love and romance. This was the book that he brought when he thought his Italian friend liked him romantically, but he later found out that it was a misunderstanding of his friend affection towards him. Even though he felt that the book didn’t help him the first time, he thought that maybe he overlooked at the information.

 And he did. There was a chapter in the book that talked about falling in love. After reading the section, he wasn’t sure if he was. He didn’t think that he liked any of his friends like that. Sure he really cares about them, but there was no romantic feelings behind any of them. Little royal blue petals come flying out his mouth when he thinks about a peculiar friend of his, Ayoka.

He’s been friends with them for years and they are a dear friend of his but, they couldn’t make him feel this way. They were always there for him when he needed it and always helped him through tough problems, even if that means spending long nights together. The way they looked when they were focused; eyes straight ahead, eyebrows are slightly arched, and those sweet, soft lips when they pouted. Sweet, soft lips? He never thought that their lips were sweet. Well… they did looked soft and he did sometimes wondered how it feels to touch them. 

A slight cough came up and then another one. Nothing came out, but then hundreds of blue petals flew out and it was getting hard for him to breathe. Okay maybe he had a thing for Ayoka but it is not that serious, right? Maybe he thought about kissing them only platonically but then again, he wouldn’t want to be that rough and passionate with Feliciano. He then shook his head and looked at the time, it was 3 AM. It was two hours before he usually wake up and start his day. Maybe he needed some rest to clear his head and so he did.

Throughout his morning workout with Feliciano and Kiku, Ludwig was having trouble controlling his breathing and his friends could tell. Ludwig insisted them that he was fine but after five laps around the park, Ludwig was trailing behind Feliciano. Which was an odd occurrence because Ludwig was always ahead of them with Kiku in the middle and Feliciano in the back, crying about how hard the workout is for him. Kiku and Feliciano told their stubborn friend to take a break and go home. He finally listened and went back to his house.

Once he arrived at his house, he went straight to the fridge and picked up his water bottle. Before a drop of water could touch his lips, his phone rang. He looked at the caller id and it was, Ayoka. His chest began to tighten and ache just by looking at their name. He answered his phone with a cough and asked “Hallo?” “Hey, I just called to say that I’m a little bit under the weather, can we push our meeting to Friday,” they said. Ludwig was surprised at the fact that Ayoka called. They normally text him unless something dire has happened in their land. But nothing too bad has happened to make them feel this bad to call him. “Um, sure. I hope you get better, Ayoka,” he said without  a cough coming out. “Than-” they paused and cough several times into the phone. “Sorry about that. Thanks Ludwig,” they finished and hung up.

Days passed and Ludwig kept on coughing up those same blue hydrangea petals. He couldn’t stop thinking about Ayoka and their health, his feelings for them, and their feelings for him. Does Ayoka only see him as a friend or something more? Ludwig would stay awake late at night with this question in head, never answered. 

Friday came along and Ludwig texted Ayoka that afternoon to see if they were ready to meet him. Ayoka replied that they still weren’t feeling well but thought they can still meet at their hotel. Ludwig told them that they could wait a bit longer, but Ayoka was confident that they can still make it through it. Ludwig sighed and got ready for their meeting.

Ludwig arrived at the simple, yet lavish hotel that Ayoka was staying at. This is not his first time that he have seen this place, but it was the first time that he felt nervous going there. Would he cough up the flower petals in front of Ayoka and embarrass himself? How would he hide the flowers away from Ayoka? And if he really did like Ayoka?

All of these questions raced through his mind while making his way up to Ayoka’s suite. And with each second, his breath was getting shorter and heavier. Ludwig was fighting the urge to cough but he didn’t want anyone to see it nor make a mess on the floor. Ding. The elevator landed on the fifth floor and the doors opened. Ludwig immediately fell to the ground but caught himself so he wouldn’t land on his face. His face was red and he was panting. The petals were slowly coming up but were not coming out. This went on for a minute and he got up. He slowly gained control of his breaths and walked to Ayoka’s hotel room.

He knocked on the door and waited for his friend to open it. A couple coughs could be heard on the other side of the wall and a slightly raspy voice asked, “Who is it?” “It’s Ludwig,” he replied, also slightly raspy. A couple spins and turns of the locks and there stood Ayoka. They looked tired yet cute in their dark green blazer and pencil skirt. It hugged their curves in the right places and still made them look professional. “Hey, you just look like you ran a marathon,” Ayoka said with a smirk. “Come in and I’ll get you some water. Just sit at the coffee table so we can start. I need to start as soon as possible because I need to meet with Mathias tomorrow morning. And you know how long our meetings last.” 

Ludwig strolled to the wooden table and placed the papers in a three neat piles. On the table, there was a pot of blue hydrangeas. 

His blood pressure rose and wondered if the flowers meant anything to them because the romance book told him about the flowers meant something about the crush. Ludwig had to know if he had feelings for Ayoka one and for all and asked, “What type of-” he stops midway to cough a bit, “flower is this?” “Oh, it’s my favorite flower, Hydrangeas. Especially, the blue ones,”Ayoka said while placing two glasses of water on the table. “So the book is telling the truth, I do like them. And how did I miss the flowers at the table from the previous night?” Ludwig thought to himself while taking a sip of water. He thanked them for the water and they both started on the papers together.

Throughout the three hour meeting, they both coughed, lost their breath, and insisted the other person to rest and meet another day but the other person was too stubborn strong wield to end the meeting. But they finally finished the papers. They said their goodbyes and walked towards the door. “Hey, um, Ludwig can I tell you anything and you would tell me anything, right,” Ayoka said while their voice waved. Ludwig’s heart started to race, was Ayoka going to tell him that they liked him back, or was there something bad that they going to say.”Um, yeah, what are friends for?” “Thanks, I just wanted to know because I feel like we have become better friends in the past couple of years and I couldn’t tell if you felt the same. I know that feelings can make you feel uncomfortable and I didn’t want to make you feel awkward about me calling you my best friend.” 

Ludwig face began to redden. Was this a way that Ayoka was confessing their feelings to him? No that can’t be it, they said “friends.” But that was so sweet of them to consider his feelings about how they felt about their relationship.

“Thanks, that’s great to hear that. I would consider as my -” Ludwig was interrupted by Ayoka’s cough. Ayoka covered their mouth with their hands and kept on hacking their lungs out. “Sorry, please continue,” they insisted. Before he finished his sentence, Ludwig was hesitant to tell them how he actually felt about them in fear of embarrassment but Ayoka did say to tell them anything. “I would consider you as my best friend too,” he said without coughing up even though it was bubbling up. They said their goodbyes and parted ways. When Ayoka shut the door, a small blue cornflower fell from their room without Ludwig noticing it.

Three months passed from then and Ludwig’s coughing has gotten worse. And what’s worse both Gilbert’s and Ayoka’s condition was not getting better either. Gilbert would deny that he was fine and blame it on allergies but if it was, it wouldn’t have last as long. And because of their condition, Ayoka told Ludwig not to visit them at all until they felt better but it’s been three months. Luckily, Ludwig’s boss desperately needed him to visit Ayoka because they needed Ayoka’s signature on a couple of documents. Once Ludwig got the message from his boss, he dashed to the quickest airport and flew to Ayoka’s country without messaging Ayoka first.

On the plane ride, Ludwig passed out three times and on the car ride to Ayoka’s loft, but he made it in one piece. When Ludwig arrived at Ayoka’s floor, he saw a familiar white haired man, Gilbert. “Why are you here, I thought you were in you were visiting Roderich,” Ludwig whispered-yelled. “I did but then my older brother instincts kicked in and I knew that I needed to help you,” Gilbert told him with a smirk. “Besides, a little Gilbirdie told me that you left home to see “Eichhörnchen*” and you know how much I like to tease them,” then Gilbert coughed. Ludwig rolled his eyes and knocked on Ayoka’s door. Seconds passed, no answer, so Ludwig knocked again. No response. “Ayoka, its Ludwig. We need to talk.” “Hey don’t forget the awesome me, Gilbert!” No response was heard from the other side of the door and normally Ayoka would have replied within twenty seconds and definitely immediately with a snarky remark whenever Gilbert talks. “Do you think that they bit the grass**,” Gilbert asked slightly joking. 

With that remark, Ayoka opened the door and said nothing with a dead look in their chocolate eyes. “Sorry I didn’t open the door, my medicine is makes me drowsy. Why are you guys here,” Ayoka asked. “I need you to sign these documents,” Ludwig said. “And we came to cheer you up,”Gilbert perked up. Alex looked at Gilbert with their already dead expression and changed it with an annoyed look. Ayoka sighed and let them in, “I didn’t expect to be cheered up by two sick men, but beggars can’t be choosers.”

After Ayoka went over the papers, the three played games and hung out. Ayoka and Gilbert bickered at one another throughout the whole time, Ludwig would try to calm his brother down, and of course the occasional coughing fit from all of them. It was getting late and they were all getting tired. “I think that we all need to go get some rest, you guys are welcome to use my guest rooms,” Ayoka said when they noticed the sleepy look the two brothers gave them. They all said their good nights and went into separate rooms.

Ludwig couldn’t sleep because of his, Gilbert’s, and Ayoka’s coughing. He tired to distract himself by reading books and finishing up some documents. But he couldn’t fall asleep because he was worried about his brother’s and crush’s condition. Then Ludwig heard a voice coming from the other side of his door. “Yes I like him but-.” It was Ayoka’s voice. “I don’t know. Hey, can we please talk about this another time. I’m worried that they might hear me. Goodnight.” Then they stopped talking.

Ludwig had several questions racing through his mind: Who was Ayoka crushing on? Was it him? Why haven’t they told him about about it? Aren’t they best friends and aren’t best friends supposed to tell each other everything? He wanted the questions to stop flooding his mind but they couldn’t. And went back home with this repeating in his head.

A week later and the same questions were still in his head. He was pacing in his room but then Ludwig’s train of thought stopped once the door to his room was opened. On the other side it was Gilbert. “Why aren’t you in bed, you need your rest,” Ludwig asked. Gilbert ignored Ludwig and just plopped down on his bed. Gilbert sighed and looked at his brother with a sad look on his face, which was odd because he would be smiling from ear to ear. “I need to tell you something,” Gilbert said in a slightly deep and monotone voice. Then there was a slightly than longer pause and he continued, “I lied about the reason why I came to visit Ayoka with you, at least partially.” Ludwig looked at his brother with confusion and curiosity. What did he mean by that? Did he wanted- “I have a crush on them and I wanted to ask them out. But I never did because -” Gilbert starts to tear up and coughs uncontrollably. Several blue petals fall to the ground that is all too familiar to Ludwig. 

Hydrangeas. Gilbert tries to hide the petals but its too late for him to hide them. Gilbert jokes,“Those petals aren’t coming from my-” “You have Hanahaki Disease,” Ludwig cuts him off. “How did you know,” Gilbert questioned. “Um, Kiku told me about it once,” Ludwig embarrassingly lied. He didn’t want his brother to know that he is also suffering from the same thing. “Wow, I should definitely talk to that guy more often,” Gilbert commented. “Um, well anyways, yes I have it. But the thing is I don’t think that Ayoka likes me back.”

Ludwig paused for a moment and then thought back to the times that Gilbert and Ayoka interacted with one another. Gilbert would always try to make them laugh because he said that their face looked like a squirrel because of their high cheekbones. And that Gilbert would always would try to hang out with Ludwig whenever he would meet up with Ayoka. And that Ayoka would always blush and act differently when Gilbert was around and/or mentioned.

And it finally hit him that his brother and him are in love with the same person. This was a predicament to be in and he only had a couple of options to get out of it. He didn’t want to tell his brother that he like them too but then he remembered that Ayoka called him their best friend and it didn’t seem that it went further then that. So as a supportive older brother and best friend, he told his brother to purse them and that he would be a great match for them.

Gilbert was surprised at this side of Ludwig but was happy that he got a support system for his crush on Ayoka. So without thinking, Gilbert set up a meeting with Ayoka to ask them out by telling them that Ludwig needed to sign a couple more documents. Of course Ayoka, was skeptical about the call because Ludwig wasn’t the one calling them about it but they obliged and met with Gilbert a couple days later.

It’s been a month since Gilbert asked Ayoka out and since then, Gilbert has recovered from the disease and Ayoka seems better also. But Ludwig’s condition has gotten worse and now he was bedridden. He couldn’t stop thinking about how it could have been him that asked them out and how happy he would be if he was with Ayoka. Thinking about how he spend his cold nights with them by walking around the city, grabbing coffee, proofreading some papers, and then do something way more than just cuddling. How warm their golden skin would warm up his cold hands and getting to- How could he be so selfish, he shouldn’t thinking about his best friend and brother’s partner in that way. Gilbert would be upset at him for thinking about Ayoka in that way. And especially Ayoka would feel very uncomfortable about his thoughts of them. So to make them happy, he called a doctor to have surgery.

A week later, Ludwig is in a hospital bed and he finally had the surgery. His room was filled with flowers and get well ballons. And a small painting of a dog by Feliciano sits on his night stand. A feminine figure stepped into the room and Ludwig smiled. 

It was his best friend Alex. Alex looked happy yet concerned when they saw him and said, “Wie geht’s***?” He smiled, he always loved it when Ayoka would talk to him in his mother’s tongue. Then he responded, “Danke, Gut, und selbst?****” “Gut, Gut. Ich habe…” Then Ayoka rummages in their bag and then hands him a brown leather journal, “…das für dich*****” It had a nice polished finish to it and very smooth to the touch. He flipped through the empty,lined pages and looked up at them once he was done with the journal. “Danke.” “Bitte******,” they paused for a moment and continued “So what happened?” “It was a food virus that was plaguing our nation for awhile and they finally got it out,” he lied. “I didn’t know that, I thought it would been in the news by now. Well I’m glad that you’re and your people are better now.” 

After that they started to talk about how horrible the world meeting went without him and other work related issues. And eventually the topic went to  about how Gilbert and Ayoka’s relationship is going. He never felt that he was jealous of their relationship and was happy to hear that they were happy. Ludwig felt relieved because the surgery was a success and he could be comfortable around his friend again. Then Ayoka’s phone ping and they read the message. “Shoot I need to help my sister. I’ll come back tomorrow, I promise,” they said with smile and a light cough. They goodbye and left the room.

Ludwig yawns and turns to his left side. The surgery and the conversion with Ayoka tired him out so he closes his eyes and sleep. 

But he didn’t notice a small light blue petal in the doorway to his room when Ayoka left.

A/N:

*Eichhörnchen = Squirrel

** It’s a German Idiom that’s equivalent to “kicking the bucket/can” but translated into English. The original is “...ins Gras beissen”

*** Wie geht’s= How are you?

**** Danke, Gut, und selbst? = Good, thanks. And you? (informal)

***** Gut, Gut. Ich habe das für dich = Good, Good. I got this for you.

****** Bitte = You’re welcome.