if you posted 8 million sickfics I'd name my firstborn after you they are my all time fav of any fanfiction EVER especially as a girly with a bad immune system (I've had covid 6 times even tho im vaccinated for it)
This is so real of you I am the Same.
To be real only one of the 8 million is actually complete to the point of being postable (below the cut 😉) but mayhaps if it gets enough love I'll consider posting some of my favourite snippets from the others...
Tuesday
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Julien’s in the kitchen washing dishes and dancing around to some Shania Twain song on her Bluetooth speaker when Mackenzie texts her.
Hey, new song for your consideration! This one’s heavy so I won’t even be a little upset if you’re not comfortable putting it on the album. Think it fits the vibe, though.
Julien taps into the attached file, titled, simply, “Tuesday.”
She presses play.
The demo is just Mackenzie’s soft voice backed by a quiet acoustic guitar, as most of the demos she’s sent have been, and Julien pauses her work as the first verse begins, giving the song her full attention.
It’s sweet. At first it’s a song about falling in love, about being grateful for those who choose to love you in return, and Julien smiles softly as she thinks about Mariah. Her mind drifts briefly to Lucy, though she shakes the thought before she has a reason to feel guilty.
The chorus hits like a gut punch. “Now I wish that I hadn’t stepped down and lied,” Mackenzie croons, and Julien sucks in a deep breath. She grips the counter behind her to steady herself, a little dizzy with how blunt her friend’s words are. They hit like daggers as Julien psyche drudges up memories of her teenage self, trying desperately not to read into the feelings she had towards her female friends. By the time the second verse starts, she’s already fighting back tears.
Of course, verse two is somehow even more raw. It feels like Mackenzie is inside of fourteen-year-old Julien’s brain, and the emotional lyrics make Julien’s chest ache. Mackenzie continues, “instead of backing me up, Tuesday melted right down,” and Julien lets out a small whimper as her stomach clenches, because that was her. She was the one begging her girlfriend to lie to her parents.
Mackenzie says, “to emphasize how much I loved Jesus and men,” and Julien feels sick.
She grips the counter behind her with one trembling hand as the second chorus starts, the other coming up to press against her mouth as she tries to process the words she’s hearing. Bile sprays into her throat as she realizes that what Mackenzie’s recounting is a suicide attempt, and she shudders, half-gagging into her palm at a line about ‘paper-thin’ skin.
Tears track steadily down Julien’s cheeks as she listens. Part of her is upset that her friend went through something so awful. Part of her is horrified and disgusted at the possibility that she’d ever caused pain like this.
Oh, God, what if she’s someone’s Tuesday?
Her fist flies up to her head and knocks harshly, and as the verse comes to a close Julien spins, grips the edge of the sink not currently full of soapy dishwater, and throws up. The sound of it splattering into metal rings in her ears in time with Mackenzie’s voice starting in on the next verse.
“Oh, my God,” Mariah rounds the corner at a jog, and Julien is silently grateful that the next line is drowned out. “Did you just throw up?”
Julien can’t bring herself to meet her girlfriend’s concerned eyes, so she reaches for her phone with violently shaking hands instead, and pauses the demo just in time to hear the word ‘shame’.
Mariah seems worried and confused as she washes Julien’s vomit down the sink, and Julien soon finds herself being pulled close, Mariah running a hand through her hair and asking, “what happened, JB?”
Julien swallows against the lump still sticking in her throat, and croaks out an astonished, “Mackenzie’s a fucking good songwriter”.
It’s another week before she can convince herself to listen to the song again, and this time she makes it all the way to the end. She cackles at the last line - telling Tuesday’s mom to ‘go suck an egg’ - and shoots Mackenzie a text.
We have to put this on the album.
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Inspired by this moment from the JBTorres virtual listening party last April:
