#appe rotations

[pharmdetermined2018]

APPE Rotations secured.

Three clinicals, an interesting hospital-like elective, supermarket retail, and an institutional rotation by my house. I am excited I got my first choices, and the timings are great as well.

[nsk96]

Last day of Rotation 2 (compounding pharmacy) and many feelings. I wrote up a “thank you” card addressing everyone and brought donuts for them (my mom got the donuts.

Long story short I really enjoyed this rotation and everyone was so kind and accepting. I even received a thank you card and a gift card.

They were telling me that they loved the card I wrote them and that it was making them cry. I got home excited to share the details with my mom and she seemed happy about it all…

But then she said “they’ll probably throw out the card. They probably throw out all the students’ cards anyways”.

That hurt a lot tbh. Like, I know they probably will toss it, and she even said the same thing about the card I wrote for my IPPE rotation but…can I just have some time to ruminate on how good these folks made me feel and how appreciated I felt today? Just for a few hours before ruining the feeling?

Can I just feel happy and safe just for a few hours?

Honestly, there’s so much more I wish I could have said to them before I left. Like how safe I felt at this rotation site. Safe to be myself, safe from the shit in my life.

I told one person about my dad though. Not every detail but just enough to paint the picture. He understood because turns out his father is a narc too. He’s really cool though, like the crazy fun uncle I always wished I could have.

And there’s the guy I have a crush on (the same guy I was referring to in a previous post where I said I wish I wasn’t straight, the same guy with the awesome Naruto tattoos, the same one I think likes his coworker). The lead tech had me help him compress the capsules today. He helped me get started, making sure I have everything I need.

We have these rolling chairs in the lab that we sit in when we do capsules. However today we were in the green room, where we compound non-hazardous drugs. There’s no chairs there. We were both doing capsules. He went into the lab and brought out his chair for me to use.

My heart melted of course. And my brain wants to see something there that may not be there. He’s always doing kind thoughtful/helpful things so it seems to be a part of who he is, but a couple things he did for me had me wondering a bit. It’s likely just my brain being weird because I have a crush on him. I found him attractive since day 1, but I didn’t start crushing until I started working with him and saw how considerate and funny he is.

When I was making my first troche, he spray-oiled the troche mold for me. A huge favor I didn’t realize how much a favor at the time (I didn’t know the spray bottle wasn’t working properly yet). The lead tech noticed and was like “you sprayed it for her? Awww that’s so nice”. He smiled (under the mask. We have to fully garb up in that lab) and was just like “it’s a pain in the ass” referring to the spray bottle.

When I hugged him goodbye today, I wanted to tell him that I’ll miss him the most. But I didn’t want to be weird seeing as I don’t think he’s interested and I don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable. Like everyone else, he did say “come back and visit” and “we’ll miss you”. Earlier, he even made a joke with the other guy I mentioned, saying I should come back to replace [pharmacist he doesn’t like]. I would honestly visit just to see him.

[nsk96]

These capsules be so pretty. So many different color options available.

But I think my favorite are the “trans” capsules. Yes, they’re pink and blue :3 (the blue is a dark blue though)

[nsk96]

Made a meme about my rotation

I made like 3 sets of 90 progesterone capsules today. It gets everywhere 👁️👄👁️

[nsk96]

When your crush is crushing on his coworker

At least it’s fun watching them interact. Never a dull moment in this lab

[pharmacybrownie]

When A Friend Tells Me They Are Doing A Residency After Pharmacy School

[rawritsjennknee]

I'm averaging a 99.77 in my rotations right now. LOOK AT ME RIGHT NOW! BEASTING my P4 year and my APPE rotations. I may not have been the strongest student in the classroom but when it has come to application I have been giving it my all and it is definitely showing. 

*screaming* This makes me really excited for my future and my career. 

[compati]

General Medicine Rotation: Week 6

I’m glad for having this rotation as my first rotation. The initial feeling was one of shell shock. With such a new environment being overwhelmed was an understatement. When I reflect on my work the past five weeks, the days just feel like blurs. Each day was just a facilitated buffet of sensory overload. Instead of colors and smells, there were guidelines and trials. The process of beginning rotations and their near conclusion has stressed to me the importance of opportunity. One point of emphasis for me has been to look at each patient has the opportunity to learn and understand how their pharmacotherapy relate to and interact with every other aspect of their care. It’s surprised me at times how much the patient attitude, lifestyle, and beliefs affect how they relate to their medications and their care. Through the whole process, I’ve gained a respect for both the practice of medicine and its delivery. At the end of five weeks, I am confident speaking with patients, nurses, and physicians. I’ve learned more about the different interplay of roles and personalities between disciplines and within them. It’s interesting to me how assuring that the patient receives a recommendation requires a process of maintaining everyone’s ego along the way.

My goals for myself at the beginning of my rotations consisted of building strong relationships with my team, maintaining authentic relationships with my patients, and to learn more about CNS and pain medications. The relationship I have with my team is a positive one that’s representative of the culture of RWMC. The more I interact with various professionals and house staff at RWMC the more I am beginning to understand how important the principles of an institution are. At times I feel how the goals of the institution are relayed causes miscommunication. The relationships I’ve had with my patients have been incredibly rewarding. Despite this, the whole affair seems somewhat distant. In my mind, it still feels surreal. If I make a recommendation and the patient receives the medication, my heart skips a beat almost. However, as I speak to the patient at the bedside, the conversation feels facilitated or rehearsed. It’s strange in that the patient is seemingly a stranger and for that moment or next several days my goal is to optimize their health. It’s humbling and frightening how the white coat and an autoreactive voice can illicit so much respect. It’s a lesson in culture and psychology I’ll have to revisit. The learning of CNS and pain medications will be a continued investment on my part as that psychiatry is in my mind an abstract discipline.

“Why are you drinking? The little prince asked.

In order to forget - replied the drunkard.

To forget what? - enquired the little prince, who was already feeling sorry for him.

To forget that I am ashamed - the drunkard confessed, hanging his head.

Ashamed of what? - asked the little prince who wanted to help him.

Ashamed of drinking! - concluded the drunkard, withdrawing into total silence.

And the little prince went away, puzzled.

'Grown-ups really are very, very odd', he said to himself as he continued his journey.”

― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

  Six years ago when I accepted the admission to URI I was unaware of who pharmacists were and what their responsibilities were. Before that I had never remembered speaking to a pharmacist. Since then, through my education, I’ve learned and grew much. I’ve embraced the profession of pharmacy, and have grown to love the intricacies and nuances of the profession. Still there’s much yet to experience and learn. I’m excited for the wisdom that will come from the successes and failures this coming year. Despite my own pessimism and that which is perpetuated regarding the futility that comes with the care of certain patients, I appreciate what you said that morning on rounds and later that day.