According to [John] Gotman, 'There is a habit of mind that the [couples] masters have which is this: they are scanning the social environment for things they can appreciate and say thank you for. They're building this culture of respect and appreciation very purposefully.' Happy couples, in other words, see the world of their marriage through the lens of appreciation. Gottman even translated this skill of marriage masters into a simple formula: 5 to 1. Marriages that thrive experience five positive interactions for every one negative interaction. For every criticism, insult, or complaint, in other words, these couples express five compliments, appreciations, kisses, or gentle touches. Some couples take this even farther... interacting with something like a 20 to 1 ratio of positive to negative interactions.