Burger Eight: Sirens
Siren’s Pub is simultaneously a well-loved local bar and a bar that locals love to hate. It’s notorious for long, raucous nights that end with glasses (or sometimes stools, and on one occasion, the umbrellas) being thrown off the balcony and pricey, often forgotten tabs. It’s also the best spot to enjoy a summer drink and some nachos while sunning on the aforementioned deck--when one is feeling patient enough to stomach the myriad tourists doing the same. Love it or hate it, the one thing that Siren’s has covered is consistency. Their food isn’t the greatest ever, but it’s tasty enough and you know exactly what to expect when you order.
Not cheap.
Their burger is no exception. In keeping with our rules, off their long hamburger list we ordered the House option. We also ordered a Pub Burger because, with the word “pub” being in the Sirens name, it seemed like mayyybe that was also the burger of the house? It totally isn’t, but whatever; it sounded interesting. We stretched the rules. So what?
The Pub Burger is super non-traditional with a pretzel bun, BBQ mustard sauce, and crispy shallots so we’ll sum it up in one sentence and leave our labors for the House Burger. While saucy and moist, this hamburger gets lost in a mess of one-note sweetness and textural monotony. Only recommended for those who like their savories to taste like dessert. Not us.
The fries are much better now that Sirens finally has a deep fryer.
Now on to the real deal: the House Burger is in most respects a classic, save the fact that it comes standard with crumbled gorgonzola cheese—a welcome addition in our opinion. This burger is more or less worth one’s time, but Siren’s consistently overcooks their patties and there doesn’t seem to be any way around it no matter how hard one begs. Perhaps it’s an over-ambitious grill cook pressing down on the patty and thus removing every ounce of juice? Not sure. Fortunately for Sirens, their meat is damn flavorful despite its mistreatment, and the gooiness of the gorgonzola and mayo create enough moisture to maintain a passable textural balance.
Were the patty cooked as ordered the bun would have been up to the job of holding the extra juice, as this is one serious bun. Uber thick and toasted it’s almost too much crunch for a standard roof palate (those things just don’t callus, hard as we try).
Insane bearclaw bun.
The onions were cut too thick, but there was something about the texture of the tomato that really tied everything together. It wasn’t too ripe (obviously-- it’s winter in the NW) but thank god it wasn’t crunchy either. Perhaps it was its generous cut or its cool temperature, but its presence among all that meat and cheese was tops! (This may have been an anomaly, as it added nothing—not even color—to the Pub Burger). The gorgonzola was balanced in flavor and complemented the meat instead of competing with it, as bleus are known to do.
So all in all it wasn’t so bad? And thanks to that reliable Siren’s consistency, we’re pretty sure you’ll be served exactly what we were if you decide to try one yourself. Bon appetite!