Shag me -- [while they're still genderbent I suppose. xD]
- - -≫Phonesex?
It had to be one of the strangest calls she--well, he at this moment--had ever received.
Sure Isabel had surprised him enough, being so prude about the matter.
But to call him on something like this, well--perhaps he should have expected it.
"It's...up," the Queen repeated, still rather tired and drowsy from just waking up.
He could literally see the young man nodding his head, panicked, holding the phone tight to his ear.
"Yes and--and I don't know, what to do to make it, stop being up."
"Honey you really don't know much about the male body do you?"
There came a silence, hesitation. "No. No not really."
The Queen sighed.
"I-I know the basics! That, there's certain parts that make men and women different but--did something happen? What is this I--"
"It's called 'morning wood.'"
"...pardon?"
"'Morning. Wood.'" He was sure to say it loud and clear. "Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with you, dear. It's perfectly natural; happens to most men when they wake up."
"I..." He didn't know how to respond to that.
"You want to know how to get rid of it?"
Again, that mental image of him nodding.
Oh, this was getting awkward.
"There's a few ways to do that. One, you could take a cold shower and try to calm it down. Two you could wait until it goes away. Or, three," and how he hesitated saying it, "you could masturbate."
He could practically feel the waves of red through the phone, small noises, cracklings through the line.
"Honey you still there?"
"Yes yes I--I. I'm not sure--I might. I might just go with the cold shower instead of--oh but. Mm."
"Honey."
"Y-yes, Your Majesty."
"Don't tell me you haven't even looked at it yet."
"..."
"Honey."
"..."
"Honey."
"Yes?"
"Honey. Listen. I want you to open your pants. And take a good hard, long look at yourself." He paused. "Perhaps that's not the right wording. But please. The sooner you get this over with, the sooner you'll be able to function properly in your new body."
"Yes. Yes...Your Majesty."
