omg id love to see damian w a lowk ragebaiter w the trend when theyre ordering food snd shes js like 'can i have __?' acting all concerned and hes js so embarrassed and lost
- - - So I've never seen this trend but I read @/bloomcissa's cute Wally one shot about it so I'm just going off of that.
You gaze up at the colourful TV's above the cashier's head displaying a wide array of fast food. As you step up to the counter and you give your boyfriend a sneaky side glance before turning to him.
"Can I order the Batburger Deluxe?"
There's a moment of silence before his eyes blink down from the menu's to you when he realises you were talking to him and not the cashier. His eyebrows furrow,
"You're asking me?"
You shrug and place your hand on his arm as if you're worried.
"I'm just making sure that's okay with you?"
You're sure your expression isn't half as concerned as his is right now. He nods slowly, hazed in confusion.
"Have whatever you'd like."
You smile in relief as if you didn't know you could do that already and pick out the rest of your order. Damian notices the cashier giving him a very unsubtle stink eye as she taps your order into her little screen.
He clears his throat and gazes down at the checkered floor, awkwardly crossing his arms and looking around to avoid the judgemental gaze. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he sees you sniff and rub your nose in the way you only do when you're trying to hide a creeping smile.
He suddenly understands what's going on.
Of course. He rolls his eyes, scoffing to himself before his eyes meet the cashiers again and he freezes a little under her icy glare. She taps her nails against the counter, her brow arched, clearly waiting for him to order although she looks more like she'd rather he keel over and wither away into dust.
He straightens up a little and turns to you.
"My love, Is it alright with you if I get the Vegetarian Mega Bat-wrap?"
Your head snaps in his direction, eyes wide like a cat caught stealing from a dinner plate.
"Uh-"
"And extra large Bat-fries, if that's okay?"
Oh, the smug look on his face is absolutely infuriating.
You purse your lips and give him a curt nod. His smug tone as he orders the rest of his meal has you taking in a deep breath so you don't punch him in the face right then and there.
The cashier's eyes flicker back and forth between your flustered face and your very self-satisfied boyfriend's.
She hands you your order ticket and you give her a quick "Thank you." before speed walking away from the counter, dragging him along by his arm.
"Fuck you!"
You punch him in the chest, smothering a hushed snort with your hand.
"I don't know what you mean, Beloved?"
He tilts his head down to get a better look at you and you swipe at the awful smirk on his face.
"You smug piece of shit."
So yes, he's easy to ragebait but he's also quick to catch on and he loooooves catching on.
- - - I just love the concept of Batburger and I will add it into my writing whenever I get the chance.
Damian with ragebaiter!reader who asks questions like "do you wish you were athletic enough?" or "do you wish you were taller?" 👀
"Do you ever wish you were as athletic as Tim?"
It takes every bit of self control in you to not burst out laughing when he slowly turns around to face you, his mouth parted and his eyes squinting in confusion.
"Are you serious?"
"Tim was an Olympic level gymnast! You have to be at least a little jealous, right?"
"Drake's athletic abilities are that of a small child compared to me."
He ignores your wheezing laughter, pretending to go back to what he was doing like he doesn't care but later that night you catch him watching old recordings of Tim's gymnastics competitions that he somehow got a hold of. He's scoffing and shaking his head, mumbling corrections to the little 12 year old Tim on the screen.
---
"Do you ever wish you were tall like Dick?"
He sighs and without turning around, he says.
"I wish you would stop filming my reactions to your foolish pranks."
You fumble with the phone your hand, almost dropping it.
"But Jon wants to see them! You know he thinks he's taller than you, right?"
"He knows that's not true. I measured it days ago, I'm still-"
He's interrupted by a burst of laughter and he turns, glaring at the phone in your hands.
There's a moment of silence before you make a run for it, Damian in tow, yelling "Delete it now!"
--- Hello, it's been a minute! I finished the poppy war trilogy and now I'm depressed 😔
✎ Damian helping you with a scene you're trying to write.
You're about to wear a line in the carpet of his dorm room, pacing back and forth as he sits quietly at his desk, reading the draft presented him with upon coming over.
He's too quiet, not even the smallest reaction and you think you'd prefer it if he'd at least scoff or hum or shake his head, anything but the silence.
You've had him beta read your works before, but this one is different, this is your first serious foray into romance.
You halt your pacing when you glance up at his face and notice the tiniest frown in his lips, illuminated by the white light of your laptop.
“If it’s bad, you can tell me.”
He sits back in his chair and finally turns his head to meet your eyes.
“It’s good...until the kiss.”
He shrugs like this is a very simple critique, like it's obvious. You give him an unimpressed look and move your hand to say, “go on” and he turns in his chair to face you.
“The love interest is emotionally distant and can't confess his love verbally so he tries to convey all his feelings to her in a kiss, but that doesn't work if the kiss is poorly described. Have you never kissed anyone before?”
You gape at him,
"You can tell that just by how I wrote it?"
"There were other signs as well."
You swipe at his head, but he ducks and you give a huff before falling on his bed.
You take some air into your lungs, calming yourself down just a little. This is the reason you went to Damian for editing, because you knew he would be honest and blunt with you. Even if it's what you need, it still sucks to hear.
“I've read and seen a hundred kiss scenes, but when I write It just feels like I’m repeating things instead of actually understanding how it feels or what It's even supposed to feel like.”
Damian gives a little hum, he looks around his room, trying to find something to say when his eyes catch the cover of his newest manga he left on his desk. The cheery shoujo protagonist winks back at him with a smile that says, "Go for it, Damian!".
He takes a breath and gets up from his desk chair.
“We could act it out if that would help.”
"The confession scene?"
"And the kiss."
You tilt your head in his direction, searching his face for anything other than seriousness.
The suggestion isn’t as bizarre as it initially sounds. You’ve had him act out scenes for you before, mostly fight scenes because he’s really good at figuring out the choreography for some reason.
It might help with your story and finally get your first kiss done with. Solving two problems with one kiss from your incredibly attractive writing buddy? You'd be stupid to decline.
With that last thought, you roll out of his bed and stand in front of him. He looks all serious like always, poker-face never faltering. You clear your throat,
“So the confession scene is almost painful to read because he's trying so hard to just say how he feels but he just can't. He says something like, “I don’t have the words now, but just let me show you, please.” ...and then he kisses her.”
Damian nods, letting some amusement slip as your bashfulness shows through. He shuffles closer, hands grasping at your arms like you described in your writing. He leans in, only an inch from your face, his eyes focused on you, on your lips.
“I don’t have the words now, but just let me show you, please.”
Fake words have never sounded so sweet. He looks at you expectantly.
“And then she says...?”
You take a breath.
“Show me.”
You let him bring you closer, turning your head just slightly so your lips lock together perfectly. His lips are soft, plumper than you imagined as they move against your own. It’s somehow exactly like what you imagined yet also completely unfamiliar. He’s warm and you can feel his nose against your cheek, his lashes brushing against yours.
It’s over far too quickly. He pulls away, eyes flicking around your face, assessing your reaction. Before you can say a word, he speaks in his usual monotone,
“I think you can do better.”
You blink, pulling away slightly.
“Huh?”
“If this man’s feelings are so intense then the kiss should reflect that. This should be the culmination of all his pent-up emotions throughout the entire story, it should have more passion.”
It’s strange how practical his correction feels, just like when he's telling you a fight scene would not happen like you describe. You nod and Domain grabs the sleeves of your hoodie, shaking you a little with a glare that feels so real.
"It’s torture just being around you. You don't understand these feelings I have.”
You try matching his intensity yourself.
“That’s because you won't tell me.”
“I’ve tried! I am trying. I don’t have the words to-”
“Then show me.”
Damian pauses for a brief moment, but before he can break character, you grab the front of his jersey.
“Show me!”
What happens next is less like a kiss and more like a physical confession. It’s intense, rough even, the way his lips meet yours. His fingers dig into your hair, keeping you as close as possible. It’s almost like you can feel the years worth of yearning and frustration in his kiss as he wraps an arm tightly around your back, leaving no room between you.
You let out an embarrassing sound when you feel his tongue slide in against yours. Smooth and wet, he tastes like nothing you’ve ever had before, uniquely him. Your arms wrap around his shoulders, fingers coursing through hair you've been dying to touch. Your chests are pressed together so you can feel each other's breaths when you finally part, gasping for air.
"You really want me to show you?"
He sounds almost ragged, his warm hands hold your hips close to his, close enough to feel what he's propositioning. You're unsure if he's still playing a character, you certainly aren't when you slip his jacket off his shoulders, answering,
“Show me.”
He lets his jacket fall to the floor, and wastes no time ridding himself of his shirt. He lets you feel up his chest as he latches his lips with yours again, like he’d been waiting an eternity for a chance to taste you again.
Despite the harsh pace, his tongue is soft against yours and when you suck on it just a little, he groans into your mouth.
The sound burns you from the inside while his lips burn you from the outside. Without leaving your lips he brings you down to straddle him as he sits on the edge of his bed.
“Is this still part of your story?”
He blinks up at you slowly with a very distracting smug quirk in his lips that you can't help but kiss a few more times before answering,
“If I say yes, will you stay in character.”
You try not make it sound like a plea but the last thing you want is to stop here, you watch the way his lashes flutter and his grin widens.
“What character? The one who can’t express his feelings in words but makes up for it in actions? That one?”
You purse your lips to hide a smile, looking to the side to avoid his gaze.
“I don’t know what you’re implying.”
You feel his lips brush against the skin of your neck.
“You could’ve just told-”
“If I take my shirt off, will you shut up.”
He chuckles into your skin, right against your pulse and you feel it in your stomach. His hand moving under your shirt and up your back answers your question.
---
“The fade to black to imply an off-page sex scene is cowardly.”
You feel Damian's voice as you lean against his chest, sipping on your morning tea, eyes still a little blurry as you squint at the text you wrote down last night after the very helpful critiques he gave you.
“Well, why don't you write it then since you're such an expert in romance."
You meant it as a joke but he immediately starts typing, only leaving you to scoff and shake your head.
🕷️--- The ending is kinda shit but I just wanted to post something lol. I like the metaness of it.
🕸️ Curious! Reader - The Important Questions, More Important Questions, A Little More, The Big Question, We're Moving Out [+18], Grandpa Damian, Even More Important Questions (End)
🕸️ To Heal a Broken Wing - Ch1, Ch2, Ch3, Ch4, Ch5
🕸️ The sex pollen saga! [+18] - 「🌺」 「🌺~After」 「🌺~Before」
🕸️ YouTuber! Reader - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
🕷️ ONESHOTS
🕸️ Painting date
🕸️ Failed Propositions and False Proposals
🕸️ Damian Wayne doesn't do friends with benefits. [18+]
🕸️ Stave Off the Cold
🕸️ Morning Glory [+18]
🕸️ Cuteness aggression
🕸️ Skin to skin
🕸️ Oh, Martian girl
🕸️ Vet! Damian
🕸️ He's a boob guy [+18]
🕸️Dream a Little Dream of Me [+18]
🕸️ Traveling with Damian
🕸️ He helps you with a scene you're trying to write
🕸️ Class Chemistry
🕸️ Headlock [18+]
🕷️ SHORTIES
🕸️ 「💤」 「🎮」 「🌼」 「⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆」 「📺」 「Silent treatment」 「Reader with acne」 「Damian gains weight」 「He's getting too tall」 「He's been on his phone a lot lately」 「Reader and Jon ragebaiting Damian」 「You're scared of the apocalypse」 「The apocalypse happens」 「Losergirl! Reader」 「Ragebaiter!reader」 「Ragebaiter 2」 「He wants some ass」 「Clingy! Reader」 「」
JASON TODD
🕸️ Jason's crush is a Batman fan. More. Even more.
BRUCE WAYNE
🕸️ Opposites Attract
DIANA PRINCE
🕷️ ONESHOTS
🕸️ Get angry, baby! [+18]
🕷️ SHORTIES
🕸️ Possessive reader
🕸️ Working out with her
🕸️ Reader gets in a fight with an Amazon
MISC
🕸️The Thrilling Adventures of Fast Boy and Slow Girl! - Wally West x reader
🕸️ Not So One Night Stand - Kara Danvers x Lantern! Reader [+18]
🕸️ How the batkids deal with your Period.
🕸️ Who in the batfam would be the best at massages?
