#aravensflower

[contracas]

@aravensflower

“Bitch. Sit the fuck down and let me tell you about this girl at work.”

[toprovokemoved]

ft. @aravensflower

        “sam,” he gives her a look of absolute sincerity “...would you do my eyebrows?”

[madebetter-blog1]

@aravensflower. sc.

      ‘ what? ’ brief pause. ‘ no. ’ another beat, and then a slight panic overcomes him and jude almost falls off his chair in his haste to save his painting. ‘ no! that’s still wet, don’t-- ’

[contracas]

@aravensflower

“You cook and you sing? That’s funny! The lady in Two Moons does those things! Usually naked.”

“Sometimes in clothing! Like a...? tied napkin--- apron, I mean apron.”

[contracas]

55 + simone mmmm

things you said under your breath

i. “You’re so clingy.” And your childhood was sheltered enough for the both of us. You tuck your curls behind your ear and sit back against my arm, resting your head on my shoulder. You were searching for warmth, and all you found was me. I’m protective over my memories, I’m protective over me. All I see when I review my history is moment after moment of missed opportunities to scratch verbal nails down a metaphoric chalkboard. I am the king of knowing exactly what to say, much too late. Despite taking years to allow me to touch you, Simone, you didn’t know me at all. I can understand that you didn’t want to, but even years later, the way you treated me makes me angry. I realise I’m a self-confessed tragedy, and that that in itself is simultaneously pathetic and arrogant, but your carelessness broke my heart. You were my first, true hate.

ii. “You’re gorgeous,” you told me once or twice, but never loud enough for me to hear. I never needed volume, or repetition. I wanted you to hold my face, catch my eyes, catch my tears, tell me that I was worthy of the space I was taking up. I wanted too badly for you to tell me everything a good lover ought to, but the mistake was obvious: you weren’t good. I remain your bitter ex, and your greatest embarrassment. I hope you hate me so that you think about me at all, I feel like I deserve that at least.

iii. “I hate you,” that’s it, that’s what I wanted. It’s months after you left me and I’d only just started seeing Mike’s family again. I knew that everyone knew that I’d been in rehab, and that I wasn’t speaking much. Concentrating on school, Lizzie said. You tiptoed around me, never looking up to see the fire in my eyes. I knew I still loved you, and yet all I wanted to do was hurt you. I smiled for the first time in days, and I tore you down. I listed your insecurities shamelessly, I wanted to build a defence against my own with the ruins of your pride. I kicked a snake, you snapped back at me with venom that I hadn’t expected. I deserved what I got, and we both left feeling the mixture of adrenaline and raw emotion that a fight inflicted on its participants. I made you hate me in those months, I poured gasoline on a friendship that never could have been because I was so hurt to have been rejected by the girl I’d loved. 

Epilogue. But I think in the end, I took my whole life’s rejection out on you. You were just a beautiful, charismatic crush that entered my life at the wrong time. I was searching in the dark for something to grasp onto, something to attach myself to, and for a little while, that was you. I made you grow up too fast, I always shot you down when you wanted to act like a kid. I was no timid, mild victim. I was passive aggressive, sarcastic, and I hated everything. I’m not surprised you found my draining. But I wish you’d been more mature, more aware, so that you could have treated that scared kid that I was a little more gently. You could’ve let me down easy, like the guys at school. I wish you’d have done that, cut me down early and not let me think you liked me. But we all see things that aren’t there. You saw someone you could fix, but the tools you used didn’t fit my broken edges. I saw someone who could love me, but you only loved yourself.

[foulmouthpiece-moved-blog]

aravensflower replied to your post: Do u accept m!as

THIS ASK IS A RELIC

FOR TRUE I LOVED SEEING THIS ASK like omg ... i really sort of miss the earlier days of tumblr rp when these were a thing bc they were so much fun and like ... so goofy? “M!A: so and so is a cat for six hours!” and then you’d post like 3 opens with some cute cat gif and some ic dialogue like omg ... that was always so much fun