#archer bennett

[-burn-book]

What did all the people put their names in for?

For the matchmaking event? Unless you're referring to the short I posted on Archer, in which case it is for an old, closed event called burn week where you spliffy souls offer up a witch or wizard you totally want to riddle with incendios to be burnt at stake in print. Unfortunately, angel, you'll have to wait until next burn week unless you to ask me something specific about them.

Stay saucy and better luck next time. 

xoxo

Claret. 

[-burn-book]

Archer

I honestly racked my brain and I have nothing on this lovely boy. He's just clean as a whistle, angel. To keep you from twisting open the waterworks, I assure you as soon as something pops up, I will publish it for your viewing pleasure. Until then, babes, have something more delish for it. 

Enjoy - he's a very pretty boy.

xoxo

Claret.

[-burn-book]

Queer eye for the "straight" guy

Hello, dolls. The hallways have been buzzing with dishy secrets as per usual. Apparently Molly Reckett in sixth year shagged all the boys in the Muggle Studies class, and propositioned our very own Professor Burbage. Naughty naughty - we've got a saucy nympho in the buildings. Men, hold onto your belts, and girls hold onto your boyfriends.

On the subject of shagging, this brings us to our spotlight dishy secret. I, for one, heard about this from the way they were all over each other at the After Party this weekend last, but one of them was being totes unexpellerific with me when I asked for a confirmation of sources. Not to worry, though. When I was casually passing by the sixth floor, I saw the same two in question conversing. One of them is our Three Cheers to be Queer Ravenclaw, Archer Bennett - a boy so saucy that he has the cold bitch (See: Arielle Blakely), moody leprechaun (See: Liam Cleary is Irish, however he is not short or a ging.), and our new Welsh transfer who some fifth years call 'the Angel' in his pocket of friendship and magical, rainbow unicorns.

Now, Bennett is very blatantly queer and never, ever hides it. In fact, when hit up by a saucy dish, I hear he doesn't only tease - but also pleases. In this scenario, his dish is the saucy, party-hardy Garrett Peterson who will deny that this happened until Kingdom come if you ask him. Yikes. Rather bezoomy and unexpellerific if you ask for my tune on the subject. Garrett, babes, you couldn't have picked a saucier Ravenclaw to shag their brains out - Mind, you had Emily Liddell and she ran away. Says something about your shagging skills. 

I thought this would never be confirmed, however, Bennett has been clearly quoted to have said the following: "You and I fucked on your bed, and if that isn’t queer, then I don’t know what bloody is."

Bennett, for the record, I totes haven't the foggiest notion as to who took the jam out of his donut either. Naughty naughty in-out-in-out is clearly the most spliffy funtertainment out there.

Ladies, for those of you holding a candle for the newly de-straightened Garrett Peterson, I was totes petrify-totally-shocked, too. However, don't cry rivers because perhaps Bennett's correct and Garrett's dick "can't differentiate between male and female anatomy". Or maybe the only river here is denial. 

Stay saucy, dolls.

xoxo

Claret.