Are you decent enough?
Before the well-known teleserye Mara Clara and the movie “Four Sisters and a Wedding'', there was Urbana at Feliza. It influenced generations of Filipinos on the refinement of social behavior. Written by Modesto De Castro in 1864, Urbana at Felisa is a story about siblings sending letters which consists of advice and stories about their lives while separated from each other. The story talks about etiquette, proper gestures, and ways in different situations. As a priest, De Castro wrote Urbana at Feliza to set a moral standard and for people to be prim and proper. A hundred years after its first publication, is Urbana at Feliza still relevant in today’s society as some of what was written to be good “moral standards” are now considered to be toxic?
Urbana's letters to Feliza are advice on how to behave properly, how to get along with people, and to have good manners, but in today’s society, some things are not applicable anymore. An example is that people can now love freely whoever they want regardless of their age, beauty, and fortune. Before, there are certain guidelines when it comes to marriage such as the woman should not be richer than the man, their age should be almost the same, and the beauty of the woman should just be exact for her husband which does not make sense anymore in the present time. If you would still be thinking in that way, then you may be considered a toxic person in society. Sad to say, today’s society is not yet fully open to LGBT couples especially here in the Philippines due to different stereotypes and religion Christianity.
Despite some stereotypes that are linked to the morals of people, which are no longer applicable in the modern world, there are still some that we as humans practice. Some examples are the values that were taught to us when we are still young that is still applicable until we grow up such as proper eating etiquette, respecting elders and proper conduct. These are practices that we should maintain in order to have a good relation with other people.
There are some misconceptions in the story, such as that those from the city are smarter, and more socially aware, compared to those from the province. We can say that the two siblings, although they have different worlds and cultures, are able to exchange comments and knowledge to each other. Urbana knows things that Feliza does not know, but sometimes Feliza says things that are new to Urbana. Even though Feliza is in the province, her mind is still open to the new concepts given to her by Urbana.
One of the good features of this work that make it different from other works is the way Urbana was portrayed. Urbana was a good sister, an older sister who knows how to lead and teach. She has the image of a wise sister that Feliza will believe and follow. Urbana also did not forget their younger brother Honesto who was always reminded about drinking alcohol and gambling. Urbana is smart and has a lot of experience. She is far from the usual “soft” character of women in other works like Maria Clara.
Urbana at Feliza is a book which is like a handbook that Modesto De Castro wrote to set moral standards during that time and became the basis of proper etiquettes as time passed. Since its publication in 1867, the environment changed and with this, the attitudes and actions of the youth also changed. Everything may continue to change but there is only one thing that would not, which is dealing with others and displaying good manners.
-Zuela, Angelo C.