For Ancestor day: Thetis, look through the magical portal that shows you all of Pheres' life and judge this dumb baby's life choices and/or quads.
what exactly did i do to get this kind of steaming hoofbeast shit heaped on my slurry, did i offend the wrong gods, flatter up the right ones all accidental like, because if thats the case, id like to offer my sincere apologies on behalf of my entire line, is there someone down there in the water peering up at me all doe-eyed and pail-addled, thinking that this cohort of fuckups the best way to get a girl all riled up, because let me just say,
sorry ma’am, language, right,
like i was saying, all of these little cakesniffers are a disappointment and a disgrace, but out of all of them, eh, pheres, hes not the worst, i mean, look at the little snootnoodle, he might have more horns than hes got sense, and speaking of which, what little doorthumping hoofed farmbeast petting pupa doesnt trim that junk down, theyre like handlebars, thats just not safe,
but, anyway, he might not have much sense, but leastways hes got some, iffin youre built like a stick, no point in roughing it up on the frontlines, you want to survive to get grays like me, you best be useful sharpening quills and hiding behind your generals skirts, or in em, not my place to judge what keeps some chucklehead living, and on his quads, HAH,
a proper liege would sort that out for him, and if i ever seen a bloke that needs a liege, its this little cloudtop, given that hes clearly got a few too many bubbles in his froth, no account of the, you know, murders and all, sweet sea, just pay some nice squarebinder to find him some diamond that aint hazardous, a pitchmate that aint deviant, and, well,
i know things seem a little hard up out there, especially with all these city folks, and all of these little blightweasels touching fronds all up in each others hivestems in perpuity, skipping quads, and slighting ancestors, and probably doing all sorts of unseemly manner of things where folks cant even see em, but,
surely they could find him a sprite that aint fucking dead,
