#arikainuki

[boukenkuma]

Yeah I understand. Meanwhile maybe ask you everytime you feel lost "what do I want for myself?" Answer yourself and propose short-term objectives to keep you moving towards a long-term objective. Yesterday that I read your post it did got me sad because I realized that if you had done it. I would have not known what had happened

Yeah, i know that, again, that's exactly why I'm giving myself an extra year

I don't feel bad ATM and I'm thinking perfectly clear rn

the thing is, I'm already exhausted, both; emotionally and physicailly

I don't even know anymore if any of the things I want is worth the fight

I want to kill myself because I already feel hopeless but still I feel like anyone can do anything at all with their lives, so trying to follow my own motto I'm giving myself a last chance

I will not do anything really SPECIAL this year, I will let things come naturally, i will not try any harder but I will not stop trying at all

I will do my usual stuff, homework, friends, house stuff

as I already said before, I'm exhausted, I'm tired of hoping for things that will not come true; it has been like this since medium school, always alone, always sad, always left behind

and yet, I stick to my beliefes, and they say anyone can do anything they want

I just don't wanna give up just like that, but neither I have the motivation to keep on living.

I appreaciate a lot you caring about me, it raelly means a lot, thanks. :c But regardless of other people concern this is my final choice, I will let this year decide my fate

if everything contnunes unchanged and I feel as shitty as I always do in every way.... Well, at least I would have died knowing that I DID fighted baka  little bit...

If something changes, if something really important happens, if something can slay through all of my negative feelings that have been stacking up since so much time ago then.... Well, I will continue to be giving my best and hoping for a better future...

I don't know what will happen this year, I don't know how will I feel, I don't know anythign about the future, the only thing I know is that I have been feeling horrible since a long time ago, and even though my anxiety and depressive feelings and self esteem have got better the past months...

my motivation to keep on living remains unchanged. I don't like my life, I don't like it a tall

I will just live like I regularly do; trying to keep a cheerful at all times, enjoying my time with friends, doing my school stuff

If I continue to live depressed of course nothing will ever change...

Iwill give my best, I will live this year like if it really was the last one.for me.

[boukenkuma]

I care because you are one of my friends, I don’t have many anywhere. It’s good that you gave yourself one more year, I hope you live many good things.

You're my friend too, even though we don't talk too much, but hey, I would even say you're a greater friend than some others that I have. uwu"

And i hope so too, I don't wannna end thigns just like that.... That's why I'll wait a whole year for it.

I have learned a lot the past year, and many things have changed since then but one thing remains unchanged, I'm continue to be depressed like I have always been, and even if i get to lear many things and even though I know there are plenty of people who believe and trust in me, I don't want to ontinue living a life in which I only will be depressed, even if all of the people cheer me up I don't see any point of it.

Personally, I think of suicide as a ver selfish option, and I do tell everyone not to do it beause everything can get better but

Killing myself has been on my mid for yearts now, and it continues to be the easiest way for me to get rid of many feelings and hey, it can't hurt to be selfish for once, heh

Even if it brings sadness to people around me at least I can get to rest.

[timothy-hearst-blog]

Dog, cat, bunny

well~ let's start ://3

Of course not, never in my life do that.

My favorite food ever, is TACOS! 

and...where's this? xD 

thanks you so much for ask, deeear ://3

[paranoid-rhythm]

✉

僕たちの季節 - DOES

=w=)b

[boukenkuma]

arikainuki replied to your post: .

damn!! give him a bath and stuff it with confetti? what about the cradle D=??

NO. A BATH AND CONFETTI WILL REPAIR NOTHING. THIS IS NOT AN EGG ANYMORE. IT'S JUST A HUGE MESS MADE OF CRUSHED DREAMS.