#armageddidnt-screaming

[armageddidnt]

Scenes from the finale that made me want to eat glass

This is basically just my real-time finale crashout, in gif format

Yea Crowley is definitely in his Gay Depression Era

Holy fuck yea that's depression

Depression depression depression oh my god

THIS FUCKING DESTROYED ME

And that's when I absolutely lost it and had to take a 10 minute break

Fucking HELL this dude using Crowley's literal bookshop-burning trauma to manipulate him what the FUCK

Crowley didn't even know he didn't have magic at this point. HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE DIDN'T HAVE HIS MAGIC. Crowley would literally rather hand over his car, his literal only remaining possession and HOUSE rather than even RISK this dude managing to burn down the bookshop at some point, magic or not. Even though Aziraphale has literally abandoned him. Fucking stab me it would hurt less

Glass glass I am eating glass

BRO give me some fucking WARNING before you say shit like that Crowley

And then Crowley still loves seeing Aziraphale delight in food. Glass glass glass glass

God literally created them as two halves of the same whole. And that's when I lost it for the second time and had to take another 10 minute break

Aziraphale you cannot just say shit like that and then expect me to be able to cope with it. Also where the fuck was that mentality at the end of season 2

Destruction 6000. It was the bait and then IMMEDIATE switch that killed me.

Literally give me one fucking reason why not

dude Michael Sheen isn't even acting here. This is just him real-time responding to the idea that Aziraphale and Crowley aren't getting their happy ending

Okay that was not the kiss we wanted. But like. Aziraphale giving Crowley back the piece of himself that he left in Aziraphale's mouth last season. I'm going insane. What the fuck happened to "do it again"

And then they got thanos-snapped. Im gonna need to find some more windows because I am fresh outta glass

[armageddidnt]

hands hAnds HAnds HANDS HANDS

Bonus:

[armageddidnt]

Bits from Good Omens [the book] that when considered within the context of the finale, have me screaming

Basically I re-read The One True Copy and Honestly I Can’t Believe The Nerve Of This Man Would You Just Look At What He’s Done To Our Story

I’ve talked about this so many times at this point. The book and seasons 1 + 2 stated that humans always had free will to begin with. They literally come up with things beyond and original to anything from heaven and hell. The whole idea of there being Good and Evil is literally what creates the concept of free will in the first place. The reason some humans can’t do as well as others is because there is inequality of the humans’ own making, therefore some are born in castles while others are born in poverty. And Crowley even BELIEVES that he’s “[hung] around humans” long enough to have some free will of his own. Please tell me how God has to do with literally any of this???

The issue was literally never about free will. Having free will or not, being influenced by God or not, being influenced by Satan or not, was shown to be fairly insignificant in the book. Despite anything that heaven or hell or God ever did to the humans, what they did to each other was always better and worse. God is literally completely irrelevant. Actually, God only speaks once (in an Infamous Bible to ask Aziraphale where his flaming sword went) but otherwise does not interact with anything or appear anywhere else in the book at all. The fact that the finale tries to paint God as the one true thing that was always keeping humanity from having a “chance” never ceases to blow my mind.

I’m willing to bet my life Terry Pratchett wrote this one

Certainly not giving Depressed-And-Suicidal “God will always stack the deck against me” Crowley here, is it???

***For context for the next one: Adam is talking about getting rid of both The Them and The Johnsonites gangs as a metaphor/allegory for Heaven and Hell going to war to try and get rid of each other

While they mainly suggest that either gang coming out as the sole winner is as undesirable as either heaven or hell winning for eternity, I think this serves to make a point about how getting rid of both sides entirely is also a bad idea. The neighbors, the bystanders, the rest of humanity, may see it as “a plaque on both your houses,” But “it’d be a jolly sight less interestin’ if we all weren’t here.”

And remember, Terry Pratchett was responsible for The Them scenes in the book.

“That’s because the people trying to sort it out were [Gai]men.”

*cue vague sounds of frustration as I tear my hair out in the background*

NG deserves jail time for taking this quote from Adam and giving it to Crowley to serve as his Righteous Hero Speech. Also, they didn’t sort anything out while any of the humans were alive and only declared that they had ‘sorted it’ after the entire universe was dead 💀

I cannot believe this line. It is literally presented as sarcasm, as satire, and yet the finale unironically adopts this entire philosophy in the end.

*cue somewhat louder sounds of frustration as I tear out what little hair I have left in the background*

*Me crossing out every single line in the finale script I just printed* 

This is what I did to my good omens copy, btw

[armageddidnt]

Michael Sheen has been a fan of the book for literal years and is like the most manic Aziracrow shipper out there. I’m just like how could he be okay with [gestures vaguely at everything]

[armageddidnt]

I’m just gonna leave this one here

[armageddidnt]

God is the original Ineffable Husbands shipper

So when God “plays dice with the universe” she’s actually just fucking around with our OTP. She really said the Main Event of the universe, the focal point of literally everything is Aziraphale and Crowley’s love. She said it was “predictable.” So she created heaven and hell and angels and demons and literally everything else just to generate more (predictable) angst and softness in the 6000+ year mlm (but not really) hurt/comfort slow burn???? To watch it play out on a universal scale??? Because like that’s our universe and apparently it’s God’s too. Like was God just sitting around watching season 1 and 2 of good omens and swinging her feet and cackling at all the little moments just like the rest of us????? I’m going feral

So just imagine God looking down at the two of them like this whenever they interact literally ever 

So the entire universe is literally just God writing ineffable husbands fanfiction. That’s it. That is the Ineffable Plan. God literally said “and then I’m gonna write THE ineffable husbands human AU” and then disappeared forever. Fucking fantastic.

[armageddidnt]

I’m just gonna pull this one out from the season 2 archives and leave it here

[armageddidnt]

Rip to 3 years of theorizing. We had fun, didn’t we?

All right so. God, heaven, hell, angels, Demons. They all just don’t exist and never have and never will?? or now there is just one universe where none of those things exist? God literally just willed herself and all the non-human things she created out of existence?? And kind of literally for no reason. As an all powerful creator, she does not have to do anything at all that anyone else tells her to. Rip to literally all the theories after the end of season 2, the literal years of analyzing every detail about the stupid clock in the final 15, that stupid coffee the Metatron gave Aziraphale, all the theories about when they might’ve stopped time or swapped bodies or made some secret plan off screen or literally any other scheme that we thought might’ve been going on or that we thought the Metatron might’ve been plotting or why we thought the Metatron did anything that he did or even chose Aziraphale to be promoted in the first place. Rip to all the theories about Crowley‘s past, all the hints that were dropped about things that he forgot or how he seemed to understand when Gabriel couldn’t remember, or all the hints that he used to be some super powerful angel in heaven. Rip to all the theories/predictions about the 25 Lazari miracle that Aziraphale and Crowley made and how much they could do in the finale if they used their powers together. Rip to the “really big one” Crowley prediction from 1x6, the “all of us against all of them” Heaven-and-hell-vs-humanity showdown we were waiting for. Well, it’s been quite a ride. This fandom has been through a lot, and I’m glad we’re all here to finish it out together.