#aro life

[sheyri]

Following a break-up/separation period in real time and Gods, I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that stuff.

[cheetoswithchopstiks]

an unexpected plus of growing older is that a lot more people are willing to take my word for it when I say I have very little interest in dating. Dont know if its just the changing times, or if they can see it in my eyes, but its nice of my aunties to finally shut up about it.

[queer-cosette]

genuinely the worst (mild annoyance) part of being arospec is that I will casually drop my first boyfriend cheating on me into a relevant conversation and people will respond at first like "aww that's rotten!" (fine and true, it did fuck me up somewhat, thank you for your sympathy) then virtually always immediately afterwards "don't worry you'll find someone!!!" which. um. thank you for the thoughts and prayers bestie but that problem kinda resolved itself lmao

[kurosmind]

almost every person I've seen talk about their experience growing up or discovering that they're aro/ace, specially aromantic, describe it as having little to no interest in a romantic partner, no crushes, etc and I relate to that on some level, but I also have had some instances where I've thought I had crushes but I actually just became obsessed with that person's approval. for that reason and the fact that I am just not sure about it I don't identity as aroace, I'd say I even love romance and sex, just when I'm not involved and I'm exploring those concepts through characters. i feel that I am on the ace spectrum but at the same time I am still waiting for some kind of event that either denies or validates this ( falling in love with someone). I'm writing this to you bc since you're aroace I'd like to hear your thoughts on this internal debate I'm having

Hi nonnie, sorry for the wait! Imho that's a very common indicator of acearoness (forgive the term it's very late and my brain is mush). I've had a couple of crushes in my adolescence as well, but I never wanted to do something with them as I just wasn't interested. Also, I feel the "waiting for some kind of event" deep in my bones. I think it's the problem of having to prove something (in this case attraction) doesn't exist. There might be an exception somewhere in the future. There might be not. It's a debate I've had as well but ultimately, I found, it's pointless. None of us has a crystal ball to predict the future after all. About your identity... well, I don't particularly enjoy the use of microlabels as they make everything just more confusing, but you could look into some terms like quoiromantic or aegoromantic. The spectrum of asexuality and aromanticism is extremely varied and the way one experiences it changes from person to person and even from different moments in life. Ultimately, my advice is to not stress too much about it. Self reflection and getting to know yourself is good, but don't try to fit into any label if you don't think they fit you. The best thing you can do is learn how you feel and react to things youself, and act accordingly. After that, if you decide to identify as aroace, you can just say "yeah I'm queer" and be done with it. Did I ever say I love the term queer? So freeing. I hope it helps!

[aro-disaster]

My Aro Life

I saw a post by a fellow aro on here and completely forgot to favourite or start reblogging it as a draft to remember the op... But this person was bemoaning the lack of general aro living conversations, it was a great point, normalise ourselves and our varied experiences!

What does your aro life look like? Good, bad and boring.

I live alone. In my area this nets me a sweet-ass 25% discount on my council tax (local tax that covers rubbish, recycling, social care, local amenities, etc). The couple next door both work and yet instead of paying twice the tax to cover them generating twice as much rubbish, recycling etc, it's just a third more than I pay. 🤔

The world still isn't designed with single occupancy households in mind as a norm, in spite of the clear demographic trends. That pisses me off.

My diet can be monotonous because food is packaged on the assumption a household has 2+ people. But also because I am an unimaginative cook. Lockdown has meant I've got better at cooking, but am so bored of it.

Living alone is awesome, I set my own schedule and have come to value my own company. I think a lot of people are afraid of introspection and being alone with themselves because capitalism, patriarchy, ableist social norms and a whole load of bullshit has conditioned them into hyper-selfawareness/toxic self-consciousness.

I want to move to be closer to my family and into a place that allows pets.

In non-Covid times I volunteered for a local charity, had weekly training sessions with my sports club and enjoyed practising art with friends. Coming home to my quiet sanctuary was often a relief, especially after charity work.

My job is steady and unglamorous, I'm not ambitious. The things that are important to me don't demand a higher wage - friends, family, hobbies, working towards a kinder,more just world....

My life is pretty good.

[amenaceandapest]

Sometimes the thought of people getting a crush on me is like

[ID: the meme of Lord Farquaad pointing offscreen and mocking Shrek for falling in love with Fiona, with the caption edited to say "The allo has fallen in love with the me!" End ID]

and then other times it's more like

[ID: the gay fear meme/reaction image edited to be captioned "aro fear." End ID]

like my brain bounces back and forth between smug superiority and sheer panic

[ID: a screenshot of John Mulaney from one of his standup specials; the caption is not edited, and reads "And I don't care for that shit at all." End ID]

[adhd-hippie]

The best part about being single iis I can have as many blankets and pillows on my bed as I want. I currently have 4 of each!

My room is cool my bed is warm and i lie buried under a mass of cozy!

Anyone who thinks being “in love” is better than 4 blankets and 4 pillows on queen sized bed will never understand my bliss.

[aro-mermaid]

i downloaded bumble again (just to make new friends in the area) and when i clicked on the dating part to update my profile i got the worst fuckin anxiety even though i’m not planning on dating anyone (let alone really going through the swipes) and now i’m just lowkey done