Imma be honest as much as I enjoy the whole “nonbinary aro ace ppl have made exactly one decision in their life and it was ‘No’” jokes, I kinda feel a bit iffy around them on some level, kinda always have.
Bc it’s meant as an incredibly empowering statement right? (and I get it, I’ve fantasised about having that much confidence when confronted with sex or gender or romance, like a good chunk of aspec or trans ppl I’ve met)
But honestly it can kind of just feel insanely invalidating sometimes, of just how much choice we didn’t have, and how much people can punish us for it.
Just like the gays have always said, none of us chose to have the gender and sexualities that we do. We just are.
The choice was never just ‘yes or no’. just like everyone else it was between slowly killing ourselves trying to uphold the idea of what is normal for everyone else, or fighting on the front lines for the chance to just exist as we are.
Anyway, would love to hear of this is just a me thing or if any other aroace enby’s feel this.
