Ehem.. I don't know what is the right hokm or ruling on sharing personal stories like this, but I really feel like I should share this, maybe someone reading it needs a little bit of hope, or faith, or both. May this little story of mine be the sign you need or are looking for. Amen.
So, imagine if you were "tight" on money to say the least this month, and still, SubhanAllah you were put in multiple situations where financial help was needed for other people who were desperately in need. So obviously, you help with whatever you can, you give, with no hesitation whatsoever, you give for the sake of Allah swt. And because you gave a good portion of what you have, you start living on the minimum. You are not complaining, Alhamdulillah, you are not hungry, Alhamdulillah, you are okay. And then, on a random afternoon, there is a knock on the door, and someone is at your doorstep with food, delicious food, fancy food, a lot of food, and they say " well,I made this for you!"
My first thought was " is this real or is this an angel taking the form of my student? This little girl is standing there with the food, and there is cake, amazing chocolate cake I could smell it, and she is smiling sheepishly, and it just felt very overwhelming at that point. Alhamdulillah, Allah swt just sent me enough food to cover me for a week or so and not only did I NOT ask for it, but also, I am at a point where I am not on top of my game with my deeds. Yes, I pray my five daily prayers, Alhamdulillah, I am trying to read my daily Quran, Alhamdulillah, may Allah swt keep me steadfast, but no extras, no nawafel, no tasbeeh x 100 times!!! I haven't even fasted the last Thursday. I am not at the top of my game, I do waste my time on social media, I did not maintain the daily schedule of ibadah after Ramadan. So I am not at my best. I am falling short towards Allah swt. But, look at his mercy, his generosity, his grace! It's putting me to shame!
Btw, I have no problem being this honest, I am not sure how other people are gonna take it, but, personally, I relate more to people who keep it raw and don't sound very perfect. So I hope by being this open and this honest, someone can relate and can feel a little less bad about themselves. Because hey, we are not perfect, we are sinners, we are humans, perfection is not human, this whole is not perfect, it's called "duniya" for a reason.
Anyways, my point is: Allah swt is Al-Kareem, the most generous, Ar-razzaq, the provider, the one who provides for you and never leaves you in need. He swt will make ways and send means to you to give you, infinitely. Don't you ever worry, even when things seem hard, even when your situation seems hopeless, you do not need hope, you just need trust in Allah swt. He swt will save you in ways that you could never imagine. Just have tawakkul, put your trust in Allah swt. He is sufficient for you. There is a phrase that my mother always says "الي يخلق ما يضيعش" which translates into " the one who creates would never abandon." Make that the motto of your life.
Anyways, I am sorry I feel like my writing skills are weak, my word game is weak, I am a bit unwell today, but Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah infinitely. I just wanted to share this little story may it save someone tonight, or make them a feel a little better.
Jazakum Allahu kulla khayr 🤍
حَسْبِيَ اللَّهُ لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا هُوَ ۖ عَلَيْهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ ۖ وَهُوَ رَبُّ الْعَرْشِ الْعَظِيمِ
`Allâh is sufficient for me. There is no other, cannot be and will never be One worthy of worship but He, in Him do I put my trust, and He is the Lord of the Mighty throne.'
