❝ Oh Guardian, what has left you so weary? It is rare to see your light so dim. ❞ / cosmic verse
A cosmic could not ache in the way that most living beings understood it, their bodies were formed of light and life of the cosmos, but they were beings born to love and create, so their ache was like no others. Nothing could feel like the cosmics could, nothing could mourn the way a cosmic could when they felt their own creations brought to ruin, no create could feel that all encompassing anguish that fractured within every ray of light of their beings. The mortal beings of the cosmos might say it was like drowning, like feeling the breathe robbed from their lungs, a hole opening and unending within their core, but a cosmic being was that much older, that much more vast, that much more infinite. Their sorrow was beyond comprehension.
The comics felt the entire universe as it lived and died, felt every breathe taken, every wave crash, every pulse of life and every beat of death. They felt one another, all of them woven together within the interstellar web of creation, stars that shined upon one another and brilliant distant suns that burned passionately. No cosmic could ever hide anything from their Queen above all. Their matriarch, their guiding hand when all else was lost, the wise voice that knew and understood their grief better than anything else that ever would. To hear her voice alone was a comfort that struck the vulnerable cord of pain he felt so tenderly that the Knight was ready to fall to his knees before her and weep into her gentle, cold hand. Whether he confessed to that feeling or acted on it, he knew that his queen already felt and saw that pulse of vulnerability within the light of his being.
“My Queen…” he spoke softly and solemnly, struggling to find his words as he tried to articulate the grief he felt.
He had always been a cosmic being of few words, instead acting upon his purpose first and foremost. His queen could call him by any name, mortals and the smaller lives among the stars could call him any title, and his purpose would never change. Guardian, Knight, Garen, Aar-eon, ૮µรƭσร, no name would change his duty. He served his beloved queen in silence and sword. His sister and queen heard his voice more than most. However, he sister did not stand with them, and that was the cause for the hole he felt within his chest at present.
“My sister…” he finally continued, his voice still heavy with weariness. “Her light grows dim, her heart heavy. Our light— it aches, my Queen, I can feel her fading, can feel her pain…”
He’s sure Ashe already knew what was troubling him, he knew that she above all others would understand and feel the same pain he felt, but his words came tumbling from his lips regardless. Even if the other cosmics could feel her separation, none of them would understand or feel the way he does. They were born together, they shared their light, to feel her fading and feel the dark star begin to devour her was like feeling himself die. He we beside himself in fear, pain, worry.
“My sister…” he repeated, his voice even softer, head bowed while he raised a had to press his palm to his forehead. “What are we to do, my lady Queen?” he asked, his voice hardly a whisper.
❛ In the dark, I have poured over the loss of you like pale gold. ❜ - cosmic verse
ask meme prompt / * @arrowdeft
there’s a war within her, and it frightens her to no end. every day she finds herself questioning more and more weather the thoughts drifting within her head were her own, or were they simply the darkness that sits nestled within her. these days, it feels like she was less of herself and more of this new, foreign and frightening thing.
her thoughts warped and it pained her ( well, whatever small scraps of her were even left ) as she lashed out to those she cherished, admired and respected. she spat words she didn’t mean ( or perhaps once she didn’t mean. now she is not quite sure anymore what she means, what are her true thoughts ? true intentions ? what was she put here for; creation or destruction ? )
she finds herself unable to look at the being before her, when in the past it was hardly a chore -- more a gift. she steels herself, finding that her teeth grind at the words of her queen (and oh how a part of her burns to think of her as such, wants to reject it with every dark atom, while another - smaller - part of her mourns this, for does she have right to declare that anymore ? ). she wants to retort coldly, spit fire back.
she wants to lash out like the coldness of space & with the hollowness of a black hole -- a part of her yearns to say that she should feel the loss. let her wallow in her mistakes. but lux knows she does not deserve that. ashe has done nothing that makes her responsible for feeling this rage.
all she manages to get out, in a quiet ( and somewhat shaky, though she tries as hard as she can to disguise it, but she’s slipping and she has been fast and hard these days ).
“ ...... i know.....i’m....” and it’s so hard to get out. she’s sorry she’s made her feel this way, yet she can’t be sorry for her departure ( her self imposed seclusion ). it is needed, she had to do it before she did something regretted, and she feels that every day, every cycle, that passes she is getting closer and closer to that point.
“ .... it just has to be this way, there’s no other way.”
i mean, i /think/ it’s supposed to be more of an insight into lissandra’s idealogy/what the frost priests are taught, how you have to accept the painful cold of true ice, regardless of the negative effects. sorta like how the frost priests surrender themselves to lissandra.
this makes sense! i think what bothers me about its application to ashe (and might be the reason why i don’t Get it) is because i can’t really imagine her surrendering to anything. especially since her voice lines hammer home the feeling that the only person you can rely on is yourself, fuck destiny, the gods guide but don’t control us etc. like it’s odd to me that she takes a phrase like that to heart, what does surrender mean to ashe in that sense? maybe she doesn’t get it either, and she keeps it in mind to try and work out tf maalcrom was talking about.
It ought to strike her as funny, finding her of all people out alone in the tundra but then Sejuani remembers that she too is alone in the unforgiving wasteland. Her mother’s bitterness has ruined her, morphed her into some unfeeling warrior. So when she sees Ashe, sees the struggle of her steps the first overwhelming desire is to run her down. Anything to make her feel a pain matching that which was frozen over in her chest, pounding, thundering, god it was nearly drowning her now. Bristle’s saddle is held by white knuckled fingers as she breathes in the frigid air, lets it soothe the burning feeling festering anew in her chest.
Sejuani ought to kill her for honor sake alone.
And yet --
“You always were good at wandering.” Her voice is sharp, cold despite the casual smile on her lips. The mace at her side is held in a tight grip and Bristle grunts low, ready to lunge forward at her urging. Sejuani draws in another calming breath. “Brave too. Mostly stupid though.” A pause and her gaze narrows.
the dark ⋆ fire ⋆ open water ⋆ deep water ⋆ freezing ⋆ being alone ⋆ crowded spaces ⋆ confined spaces ⋆ change ⋆ failure ⋆ war ⋆ loss of control ⋆ powerlessness ⋆ prison ⋆ blood ⋆ drowning ⋆ suffocation ⋆ public speaking ⋆ natural animals ⋆ the supernatural ⋆ heights ⋆ death ⋆ dying ⋆ intimacy ⋆ rejection ⋆ abandonment ⋆ loss ⋆ the unknown ⋆ the future ⋆ not being good enough ⋆ scary stories ⋆ speaking to new people ⋆ poverty ⋆ loud noises ⋆ being touched ⋆ forgetting ⋆ being forgotten
@anonymous: what’s something you love about each of your ship partners? the muns and muses :)
Yoo this is such a nice little ask! I love to gush about my writing partners because to be honest? They all deserve it, if anything for putting up with my kicking in their door with headcanons at random times & other bs. I’m gonna talk about them all in order of exclusives > mains > other. In this essay I will
DIANA / @moonaspect.
Moon is such a darling. We talk every day over Discord & she’s become such a big part of my routine at this point. I am also a lonely fucker & am going through some stuff at the minute & she’s a great help! She’s so talented as well, I cannot comprehend how she does what she does with a canvas but here we are. Thank you so much for putting up with my bs. I could go on & on but just know that Moon has a very special place in my heart. She’s such a valuable friend & she gives me a reason to get up in the morning. . . Or afternoon, depending.
As for Diana she does a wonderful job with her. She’s written her for as long as I’ve known her & it shows —— her love & dedication to this character is so inspiring. Her Diana is exactly what you would expect her to be, & especially since I’ve seen her RP her for so long, she just feels canon to me. You can’t have Diana without angst & Moon has taken this to the next level at times but as a fellow angst lover, I love to see it.
Nix! Oh gosh I could talk about Nix for hours but I’ll try to keep it short & sweet. We also go way back, you see. Words cannot describe how much I love this woman, as we’ve been through hell & back together & even to this day she continues to be one of my best friends who always has my back. We don’t plot as much as we used to but I honestly miss that —— I miss coming up with stupid scenarios & screenshotting them to pester the rest of our friends with for eternity afterwards. We need to make more doodles together too. I love you Nix, let there never be a doubt in your mind about that.
Her Soraka is honestly a big mood. She is so loving & giving & I always just imagine Nix & Soraka to go hand in hand cause they’re both such empathetic sweethearts. I will never shut up about Nix’s writing & how beautiful & graceful it is to read. Even her headcanon posts are so well put together & even though she isn’t posting much at the minute I love to see her pop in every once in a while with a meta!
✦ Favorite things: Nix’s & Soraka’s big hearts.
ASHE / @arrowdeft.
Kirin is so talented my heart skips a beat at times when I read their writing! I don’t know much about them on a personal level other than they’ve been going through some rough times lately & I really hope that my small contributions to the ship helps, even if just a tiny bit at times. I’ve been enjoying reading their content for Kai’sa as well, though! They seem to have a very interesting & realistic take on her so far & I love me some of that. Also pretty graphics 10 / 10. My door is always open if you need anything, Kirin!
Kirin’s Ashe is just perfection. She’s the right amount of stern & soft. She’s so stubborn & I love her for it. I can’t help but root for her honestly. & when they write for her it just. . . Everything makes sense —— why they chose Ashe as a muse & it’s so lovely seeing her come to life the way she does in Kirin's hands. You just can’t help but admire Ashe for her achievements & her overall character. When Kirin writes for her she feels so regal & composed, but also down to earth at the same time which is a wonderful combination.
Liv aaa ( Or Star, which is a super cute pen name by the way. ) is first of all GORGEOUS. Second of all, is someone I wish I spoke more to! But to be honest that’s on me, mostly. Thinking about it I’d actually love to get to know her more! She just seems like such a nice & warm person to be around, idk. Oh & she has a knack for making pretty graphics! I like the style a lot, it’s so clean & readable, as is her blog.
This Lux though. Is so good & so interesting. It’s so interesting to see what can be done with Elementalist Lux & I love the inclusion of Spellthief as well. It’s nice to see Lux being taken in a direction that isn’t necessarily what you’d expect for her —— that she can fend for herself so well & that she is willing to do work as a spellthief. She also has a super cute design. I have a weakness for when people personalize their canon muses to fit their portrayal better & this is no exception —— Star’s Lux is simply too pretty.
Aqua hits an aesthetic that hits my heartstrings IRL & here on Tumblr. I’m always on the edge of my seat when I speak to her because in all honesty she’s hilarious as fuck & I really enjoy plotting with her. There’s just something about the way she talks that’s a perfect balance between dishing out actual plots & joking around with it that I love. God I love Aqua so much, she’s just so funny & nice to be around & I’m always excited to talk to her! I hope you feel better soon, though, cause depression sucks & I’m here if you need anything. I hope you know that!
Literally any character that Aqua touches I’m in love with. I’m excited to RP with any of them to be honest, but to stick to Kayle? I love that Aqua isn’t afraid to show off her bad sides. That she’s given her dimensions & that she feels exactly like Kayle should feel. Even though she puts Leona through hell I can’t help but love them together. What can I say, I have a weakness for characters helping each other grow as individuals!
Good Grace we’re here. Insert more name jokes here. She’s snuck her way into my heart & I do consider her a good friend! I love waking up to messages from her, whether it be OOC or plotting related. It also always excites me to read her posts on my dash & I strive to maintain a spot as her #1 fan. Grace doesn’t take herself too seriously & I love that about her, it’s so nice to be around people like that. She’d rather laugh about her own shortcomings or joke about which is so, so refreshing.
I’ve said it before but Grace’s Tianna is everything you need Tianna to be. She is strong physically & mentally, steadfast, a little stuck up & of course, has the willpower of a true Demacian High Marshal. I feel very lucky that I get to ship with such a lovely muse & mun, honestly. Tianna is strict when she has to be but she is also a big softie at times when she’s allowed to be & it’s so sweet. It’s been great getting to know both mun & muse, & I hope to get to interact much more in the future!
✦ Favorite things: plotting with Grace & Tianna’s soft side.
HONORABLE MENTIONS.
& last but not least, some honorable mentions are @defyances, @foxcharmed & @blessercoeur ( Hi again Moon! ) whom I have just begun plotting / exploring ship dynamics with. I’m coming to love the dynamic that each of these pairings have & I’m so excited to explore them! Irelia & Leona is just great content all around, with a side of angst in the whole long distance thing. Ahri & Leona is such a wholesome mess of Leona teaching Ahri how to Empathy™ & them finding love in that somewhere. A’ni & Leona are just two hearts who beat to the same rhythm in multiple ways & I’m so pumped to see them interact more & getting along.
